Responses from Dale Griffith


  • 1. "Was the coffee locked in your box, Tasha?" (page 341) Could you describe what this box is and what life in general is like in prison? What are you allowed to have and what can you NOT have? People who have not been in prison don't have any idea?

    1. Each inmate has a low metal trunk to store personal stuff -- coffee, snacks, clothing (state issued and a few things that can be sent in from home). The women are allowed to have only items listed on the prison commissary list -- anything else is considered "contraband" and can be grounds for a disciplinary ticket. Each woman receives a couple of tee shirts, two pairs of jeans, underwear, socks, a sweatshirt, and a winter jacket (a few other items too, I think). If a woman has no source of income, she may receive a small amt of personal care product; mostly, the women are responsible for their own shampoo and so forth.

    Prison life is tedious--the sameness would drive me mad. Some of the inmates do stay productive and busy. Some of my students have jobs outside of school -- in the kitchen, laundry, grounds, and such. Groups such as anger management, survivers of abuse, AA and NA also exist -- the demand exceeds the number of groups available. Some woman choose to do nothing but sit around in their cells -- I don't know how they do it.

  • 2. "The new compound, which bore Janet York's name, was a decidedly different facility. Now, all inmates lived under tightly enforced maximum-security regulation. Many of the small, incentive-building privileges and humanizing gestures extended to low-risk inmates were surrendered during this transition. " (Page 343)
  • a. Could you describe the difference in a regular prison and a maximum-security prison?

    2. Prisons are rated (like movies!) from minimum (levels 1/2), middle (levels 3/4), maximum (5). The lower levels have greater freedom -- inmates in level 1 facilities either have had a long period of excellent behavior or are incarcerated for a fairly minor crime. An inmate can't become level 3 or lower until she's served a fair percentage of her time. I'm not great at the details of all this. At York, we house all levels -- we're the only female prison in the state. Thus, all the women are treated as if they were maximum security -- our level 1/2 enjoy much less freedom and opportunity than male institutions which house only low level inmates.

    It's one of the toughest aspects of our place -- women who are very "compliant" and motivated are penalized for the rowdy women's poor behavior. When York first opened, it was supposed to be for levels 3 and up -- the low security women were to have their own prison, but budget cuts knocked that out before it ever got going.

    Christmas Greetings:

    I'm so impressed with the questions and comments you've all raised, and I'm touched by your concern. I've meant to get connected a bit more but the holidays steamrolled me. My three semi-adult children were all home for the holidays -- my eldest just became engaged, so it's been a pretty exciting time (and I worked right up to Christmas Day). Tomorrow I'm off to Broadway with my younger two. I need some gaiety after the last couple of weeks at the prison.

    Teaching at the prison is especially hard around the holidays. Moms are separated from their children; some have no one to even send a card; they aren't allowed much celebration. At the school, we have a holiday assembly (a couple of years ago Wally and the Lambettes dressed in hand-made "lamb" hats and sang "Writing with Wally Lamb" to the tune of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland" -- (I refer to this in my essay). Another year, Wally wore an Elvis wig and sang his own rap song! This small gathering consists of teachers and students presenting little skits, songs, dances, and jokes (very poor ones)-- it's a touch of light-heartedness during this dark time. We all need it.

    The inmates sometimes don't seem as blue as I when special days come around -- many of them haven't had too many joyful Thanksgivings or Easters. In truly dyfunctional families, children don't have piles of presents and warm cocoa on Christmas morning -- I'm don't think some of the women/girls know how beautiful life can be -- never having experienced much warm stability. Most seem to "handle" prison better than I imagine myself handling it. Maybe they're just superb at making the best of it, or maybe they're denying the reality of their lives. I don't know. I only know that their positive spirits raise my own -- and, when I buy gifts for Toys for Tots and other charities, I like to think that some of my students'kids might receive my gifts. People sometimes think I'm "good" to work with inmates but the women give me far more than I give to them -- through them, I've learned to be grateful for my own blessings (my beautiful children, my good health, my warm home, and so much more). Enough from me tonight.

    I thank all of you for your support. One thing you can do for the writers who are still "inside" is write to them. Their inmate numbers are in the "book"; the address at the prison is: York Correctional Institution, 201 West Main Street, Niantic, CT 06357. Let them know you're thinking of them -- it'll mean a lot. Blessings to all.

    On Diane and Forgiveness

    Someone asked whether forgiveness is always the right thing to do, and I believe it is. Not the easiest thing , of course, but the best, nonetheless. Forgiving is not, however, forgetting. For me, forgiving others is part of healing myself -- until I can forgive (but not forget), I'm caught in a web hatred. Forgetting compromises my safety -- I won't tolerate unacceptable behavior, but I can try (at least) to forgive my enemies.

    I think Diane B. knew this -- for her, forgiving herself for killing her husband was an ongoing process. I believe that during the process of forgiving herself for her crime, she also forgave her father (at least to some degree) and her husband. As Diane grew closer to her death, she lost her bitter edge. Hatred eats us up, buries us alive if we let it. I have to work on forgiveness of self and others every day. I don't believe I could work with the women at the prison if I hadn't learned something about forgiveness. There's a saying that talks about hating what the person DID but not hating the person -- this rings true for me. I try to imagine what might have brought someone to behave like Hitler or Saddam or any number of less-known maniacs -- not to sanction their cruelty but to understand why people BECOME who they are -- which seems to be through a slow series of (tragic) events. When I learn about the lives of Diane and so many other women (and men) who have suffered under the hands of "loved" ones, I'm amazed that they didn't commit more crimes. Diane never whined about her lot in life -- she knew she'd made plenty of mistakes and her honesty about herself was rare and refreshing. Diane B. was an inspiration to me -- in the face of her own cancer and her own dark moods, she lighted the room with her humor (esp. her ability to laugh at herself); she humbled me. She taught me more about the power of forgiveness that most spiritual teachers. The Lord's Prayer has always spoken to my heart more than any other prayer or meditation -- and, of course, Jesus' message for us rests on forgiveness -- seems to me that Diane lived that prayer --at least she tried to.

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