Three Cups of Tea ~ Mortenson ~ Book Club Online ~ Prediscussion

[Justin]

 

Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson & David Oliver Relin Three Cups of Tea is an inspirational story of one man's efforts to address poverty, educate girls, and overcome cultural divides.  This book won the 2007 Kiriyama Prize for nonfiction revealing the enormous obstacles inherent in becoming such "family." ~ Bookmarks Magazine ______________ "The first time that you share tea with a Balti, you are a stranger" a villager tells our author.  "The second time, you are an honored guest.  The third time you become family." ~ Three  Cups of Tea

Three Cups of Tea -- Homepage..... Ignorance -- the Real Enemy..... Synopsis and Biography.....

.

Three Cups of Tea is currently #1 on both the Washington Post  and the NY Times  Non-Fiction Best Seller lists.

Discussion Leaders: Andy(ALF43), JoanK & Pedln

Ladies: The problem of male dominance and female dependence appeared to be under some control in the US as we left the twentieth century behind. Women were attacking the glass ceiling in industry, they were appointed to the Supreme Court as Justices and to Presidential cabinets at Secretarial level,  they were branching out into fields other than Education and Nursing, demanding equal pay for equal work, and advancing to middle management positions in business while supervising men. Women appeared to be gaining in relevance in our society on very many fronts. The number of freshman women at some universities  were exceeding the number of freshman men..

You have come a long way, baby and a rough road lies ahead.

The next generation and those that follow must continue the social advance that women have achieved. Educate your girls and encourage them to support themselves, to be self sufficient, to be married as an equal partner, and to take pride in knowing how to make a living. Encourage them to talk with males in social conversation on an equal basis. The advance started in Saratoga, New York  in the mid nineteenth century must continue.

[Persian]

And so it shall!

[Justin]

Malia: I just noticed your photo and was reminded of Shahrazad. Your costume is appropriate for one sharing in our tales of the Arabian Nights.

[Persian]

The photo accompanying my posts is a reconfiguration done by the enormously talented late Lady Z (Zinia, who created the former Mountain Home site at SN).  She worked with a Now Ruz (New Year) card I received from friends in Iran many years ago and replaced the facial features on the original card with a photo of me.  Another version of her "creation" with photos and original costumes can be seen at the Mountain Home site under the heading Aunties and Uncles.  Mine is the one named "Auntie Mahlia" (obviously), using the same costume, but in a different position.  The card was written to Mahliheh (the full Persian name by which my Iranian friends know me, but shortened to Mahlia, which is easier for non-Farsi speakers to pronounce).

On the card, the artist has depicted a Persian woman overlooking her garden.  Her clothes depict what would have been commonly worn by women of well-to-do families in earlier centuries.  The delicacy of her skin indicates a truly Persian (not Arab) woman.

Mahlia

[Babi]

I never knew all that, Mahlia; I've just enjoyed the exotic picture.  I'm glad
 Justin mentioned it and got the background.  Would I be right in guessing that your Persian relatives/friends picked the name Mahliheh as being the
closest they could come to 'Molly'?

[JoanK]

MAHLIA: I wish we had known each other when we both lived in Montgomery County. I, too, briefly taught at Maryland and American Universities as a graduate student. Perhaps we passed each other on the quad.

In any case, in this book, we have a unique opportunity to meet people from remote villages that I, at least, would never be able to meet in real life. Ah, the power of books!!

And those of you who haven't yet, share this experience again in our "Read Around the World" discussion. We periodically chose a book from another part of the world to read. "Three Cups" does not technically qualify, since we choose books whose authors were born in the country invoved, but is in the spirit of the discussion.

[Persian]

BABI - I'm not really sure how the nickname Mahlia came to be used instead of my birth name.
I recall many, many years ago when I registered for a Farsi language class at the Middle East Institute in Washington DC that the Instructor read my birth name and turned to me and called me Mahlia.  When I traveled and taught in Iran in the mid-70's, I would be introduced by my birth name and invariably people - colleagues at university, students, new friends, etc. - would call me Khanom (Lady) Mahlia.  Later, when I had Persian students in my own classes in the USA, they knew my birth name, but also called me by my nickname, as did colleagues in the diplomatic community with whom I worked.  In Arabic, the double L in my birth name is awkward for some native speakers, but that is not a problem in Farsi.

Mahlia

[Babi]

Sounds like destiny to me, Mahlia.    

[Brian]

I have been reading all the posts with suppressed excitement, awaiting the start of discussion about "Three Cups of Tea".  Bring it on !!!

I even followed the trail to Mahlia's "Aunty page", and for anyone who would like to see it, here it is : -  http://www.geocities.com/flyingaunties/mhscraps5.html

Brian.

[pedln]

Brian, thank you for providing that link.  I think that would have been a hard one to find.  And if you want to see all the aunties and uncles, visit here.  You'lll surely see more than one familiar face.

Aunties and Uncles

[Babi]

 It was good to see those names and faces again.  So many of those sweet people haven't made their way over to SeniorLearn, and it is truly a loss.

[pedln]

Just knowing that we'll soon be discussing this book, I think, has put all of us on the alert for news about the area where it takes place.  This evening the Lehrer newshour had a segment about polio and the countries where this dreadful disease is still a big problem.  The focus was on Nigeria, where there has been an increase over the past few years.  But polio is also endemic in India, Pakistan, and Afghanistan.  Much of the problem in Nigeria is due to ignorance and lack of education, and it is apparently becoming more under control in the other three countries, but it is still a big concern and very disconcerting to know that it could be wiped out and as yet, is not.

[Justin]

I agree, Pedlin. The AP published an item today with dateline Kandahar, Afghanistan about the killing of a women's rights advocate. The Taliban claimed responsibility for the killing. Gunmen killed Sitara Achakzai, who spent years in Germany while the Taliban ruled her homeland. She had just returned home to continue the fight for women's equality.

[Persian]

PEDLN - I, too, watched the same news program this evening.  You may recall that it was also mentioned (and somewhat elaborated upon) that for many years the ignorance about polio prevention in Africa included the dismal information that the inoculations which were provided for the children was a form of "poison" which would make the children infertile and thus a "clear threat" by the West again Islam and its adherents.  This was also a problem farther to the East in the Asian regions which were home to many Muslims.  And since so many people in both regions were (and continue to be) illiterate, major portions of the populations believed their radical leaders who preyed upon their ignorance.  The photo in tonight's program which featured the father, mother and small son - all who struggled with polio - was absolutely heart breaking!

After I retired from a major university in Maryland, I worked alongside many wonderful Africans at USAID's Africa Bureau in Washington DC.  We often talked among ourselves about how best to help their countrymen and women.  Almost always, the reply from my African colleagues was "help our children - NO, help us to help our children in years to come, especially with education!"  Several of these wonderful colleagues talked with me personally, often mentioning their tribal affiliations and the illnesses (and paralysis) suffered by relatives.  And almost always their voices changed to whispers as the conversations came to an end and they spoke seemingly to themselves:  "I should have done more."

JUSTIN - yes, indeed, the news about the death of Sitara Achakzai was deeply sorrowful.  She (along with many other Afghan women who have lived abroad for years in Europe, the USA and other world regions) have been adamant to return to their home countries to help other women.  And although Khanom Sitara's personal efforts have been abruptly halted due to her heinous murder, there are numerous other committed Afghan women (well educated, some wealthy with strongly supportive husbands and other male relatives) who will most assuredly "walk in her footsteps and carry her beacon." 

The death of Khanom Sitara is truly tragic, when one considers how her willingness to help others could have been such an enormous boost forward, but one must always - absolutely always! - remember that there are other courageous women who will follow.  Afghanistan is an ancient land, it's people and customs do not change as rapidly as in the West, but the seeds of change have already been planted and nurtured (even as the outrageous evil acts continue).  And it is that forward thinking that is the best memorial to Khanom Sitara.

Mahlia

[Justin]

Mahlia: I am sure you are right. There must be more such women who will pick up the banner and carry it awhile. Bhutta was such a woman. But they must be rare by the very nature of the culture. The job calls for a single woman, probably educated, and with ample resources or a woman who has rapport with her husband on the issue.

[Persian]

Indeed, women with this type of deep commitment are rare, but they are in the world.  I recall another news program a few weeks ago where the interviewer spoke with several young girls (about the age of late middle school students or perhaps early high school).  Although they wore head scarves, their faces were not covered, so they certainly must have been outside of their own home environment.  At the end of the interview, one of the girls smiled broadly and said "when I grow up I AM GOING TO BE PRESIDENT OF MY COUNTRY!"  Her eyes shone brightly and her smile became ever broader.  With that kind of enthusiasm, I am heartened for these young girls in the future, although they most certainly will walk alongside sadness as they progress forward.

Mahlia

[ALF43]

You folks rock!

WOW, what a discussion you have provided for us here- each and everyone of you have added substantial information noteworthy of a good discussion (soon to follow.)

 I am always so impressed how individual tenets are examined and analyzed without any rancor from our group.  Whether it is the principles of the Holy Qu'ran or the Holy Bible we each hold our individual opinions and wish to respectfully share them with others as well as carefully consider a different view.  As these discussions progress, many times several points become severe and intense but our posters opine and partake without any enmity or malice.  I am proud to be a part of this.

Persian has hit the nail on the head with this quote.

 

My hope is that as we progress through the discussion of Mortenson's Three Cups of Tea, the posters here will gain new insight into how the efforts of one person (originally), enhanced by others who joined in contributing to his education projects (and continue to do so) can contribute to changing the world for the better, one step at a time.  And if our children and youth take the time "to listen to the wind," they, too can learn the positives about other people quite different from themselves, while at the same time helping to reduce the abuse of both genders in all world regions.

You also mentioned about deep commitments of women around the world. 
Since 2003, In Ghana, West Africa, two American women are helping their local counterparts build businesses, helping hundreds of women increase their incomes and find markets for their products.
These gals were peace corps volunteers in the '90's and they founded Women In Progress which provides assistance with everything from creating a business plan to managing the day-to-day operations.
These women also launched an online marketplace (Global Mama.org) to help their female entrepreneurs.

Human Rights take a great commitment, I agree but it takes moxie too.  One needs courage to move ahead, courage to speak out against unspeakable atrocities.  Eve Ensler was the author of the play The Vagina Monologues and founder of V-Day which works to stop violence against women in the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC.)
Though the conflict in the DRC ended in 2002 the sexual violence has continued, with militia groups vying to control natural resources.  Last fall, with help from V-Day and UNICEF thousands of women organized in protest, agreeing to speak at public meetings and tell their stories in front of govt. officials.  A central part of Enslers campaign is to build a "safe house", inclusive with leadership classes, career skills and counseling.  she believes that the women, themselves are part of the solution.  This is surely is one step at a time as we each try to make sense of our times.  It has been said that Humanity evolves through a series of unfolding stages."

The flow is from "me to 'us" to "all of us."

[Persian]

ALF - it was interesting to read your mention of Eve Ensler, who also endorsed an excellent book about Afghan women entitled Women for Afghan Women, edited by Sunita Mehta, co-founder of the organization of the same name.  One of the contributors to this book is the Afghan wife of an American former colleague of mine at USAID, who has worked tirelessly for years to improve the condition of women and girls in Afghanistan. She and I often discussed various aspects of the Afghan culture when I lived in the metropolitan Washington DC area.

I thought of her again recently as I recalled that in addition to the many women (Afghan and Western) who continue to work to improve conditions for their gender in Afghanistan, there are also Afghan women from Pashtun, Hazara and Tajik tribal backgrounds (and fairly well educated), who believe that they are NOT overly threatened by the majority male customs of how to treat women.  Their sense is that the Western world simply does NOT understand that many Afghan women prefer to be "shielded" in their families and in public.  I've frequently recalled some of these women, especially in light of the continued abuse and murder of their sisters who have spoken out publicly on behalf of their gender at great risk to themselves. Doing so prompted me to read some of the articles at the Women for Afghan Women site, which offer a range of information about the topic.

Mahlia

[pedln]

Oh wow, here it is afternoon and I’m still in my pj’s.  Last time that happened the doorbell rang. Blame it all on Three Cups of Tea and Google Earth.  If you haven’t downloaded that fantastci program, do it now.  (Now that I have DSL and no longer have to rely on dial-up, I’m having a ball with some of these huge files).

This morning’s activities all started with a Wall Street Journal article about the U.S. attempting to block radio stations and web sites used as recruitment tools by the Taliban in Pakistan and Afghanistan.  Being enamoured with maps I had to see where  and Google Earth brings it all up in satellite views.  Then there are wonderful photos to look at.  Talk about rugged territory.

There’s a bit of a learning curve here, but it’s well worth it. I was going to provide a link, but thunderstorms are heading here and I’m shutting down.  Just Google “Google earth” and you’ll find it.

[Babi]

Rats!  Not only did I learn that my library's copy of "Three Cups of Tea" was an audio (I'm deaf now!), but that they no longer have it.  Apparently it was checked out and never returned.
  I've placed a request for an interlibrary loan, so I should have a copy in my hands in plenty of time for the discussion.  Meanwhile, I cool my irritation by reflecting that there may be a perfectly good explanation for the missing item.
It doesn't necessarily mean that someone is a thoughtless boob. 

[JoanK]

BABI: good for you! You're a better woman than I -- I'd have gone with the thoughtless boob.

For those of you who prefer audio books, Three Cups would make a good one. It reads along well.

[pedln]

Now ladies, you both know that the Lord especially watches over people who tend to lose things -- like keys, books, hats, etc.  So this poor person has checked out the book and now she/he can't remember where it is.  We had a teacher like that -- always loosing her keys, of which as a dept. chair she had many.  When the loudpseaker would announce, "a set of keys has been turned into the office," everyone would nod, mmmm mmmm.  JW's done it again. But she needed two guardian angels when she lost a diamond ring.  The ad in the paper read "Lost, a ring, lost in the vicinity of the city."  (Now our city is small, but not THAT small.)  It was eventually found in her golf bag.

And hopefully, Babi, Tea Cups will turn up as well.

[pedln]

Here's the site where you can download Google Earth.  It's really super, but as said before, you need to play with a little bit.

Here -- to download Google Earth

[Brian]

The first four paragraphs of this article from the Canadian Medical Association Journal give another view of the problem of how to help women in Afghanistan.

http://www.cmaj.ca/cgi/content/full/180/8/896?maxtoshow=&HITS=10&hits=10&RESULTFORMAT=&searchid=1&FIRSTINDEX=0&resourcetype=HWCIT

The entire article should be available - - - if I have done it right.

Brian

[Babi]

BRIAN, this is a form of blindness that has always hindered efforts to improve health care, as well as many other plans of those who want to be helpful. We know that certain things will improve some peoples lot, and try to impose them without any awareness or consideration of centuries of local custom. Then we are frustrated that our good advice is largely ignored.

[JoanK]

Excellant article, Brian. I'm hoping this discussion will help us at least with our cultural blindness.

[Persian]

This is an excellent time to undertake a discussion about an area of the world which is not widely understood culturally (and there are several distinct cultures in Afghanistan, of which posters may NOT be aware), nor in many cases acceptable to the West.  The political and military news which is featured almost daily on Western TV gives only a glimpse of the country, its diverse regions and population.  As is the case in any global region where the people and their customs are significantly different than the Western world, there is much to learn, appreciate for their age-old values and speak out about on the world stage whenever gender or child abuse is a strong component of the culture.

I'm confident that the posters in this discussion will bring not only their interest in Mortenson's books, his efforts to keep a promise to the Afghan villagers, a deeper understand of how/why he learned to "listen to the wind" and, perhaps, how some of us might follow in his footsteps in ways and with people that strike our own hearts.  As I've learned personally - and I'm sure many others have, too - once we can learn and understand differences (NOT necessarily accept them for ourselves, but at least become aware of them) there are always ways to help if we wish to do so.

Mahlia

[Justin]

There is a television personality who travels the world as a professional tourist. I am not sure about his name. However, he recently did a show about his travels in Iran. He introduced us to Iranians who were just folks. Not aggressive, culturally different, yes, but just people like us. The message was quite clear. Iranians are one thing, religious and governmental people are quite another. Shows like these can raise our consciouness of a decent but culturally different people who want to be friendly with others. Clearly, not all Iranians are as aggressive as the Prime Minister and the Ayatollah. 

[Babi]

 I strongly suspect that all people who arrive at ranks like Prime Minister and Ayatollah, in any country, tend to have aggressive personalities. I suppose you must be to be an effective leader, but there is definitely a downside.

[Brian]

Yet another view from Afghanistan : -
(from BBC today - April 26th, 2009)

Then there is Zarlasht Hafeez, a female Pashto poet who has published a collection called
"Waiting for Peace". Her lines read:

"The sorrow and grief, these black evenings,
Eyes full of tears and times full of sadness,
These burnt hearts, the killing of youths,
These unfulfilled expectations and unmet hopes of brides,
With a hatred for war, I call time and again,
I wait for peace for the grief-stricken Pashtuns"

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/8008754.stm

Brian.

[Brian]

The Afghan president says that he wants to honour women's rights,

(From the same source)

Brian.

[JoanK]

Wonderful! The world of poetry again shows us the hearts of people. At one level, people are so different, at another, the same. We need to find a way to respect both those aspects.

[ALF43]

As we speak, Pat is working on putting up some questions for our discussion.
We need not restrict ourseves to these but they are worthy of consideration.

Have any of you EVER met a man like Mortenson? 

Thank you Brian for bringing that poem here.  It is filled with gloom and anguish lessened only in a small degree with hope.

[Justin]

I've been thinking about people I might have known who were like Mortenson, and I have not been successful in finding one exhibiting the sustained altruism we see in him. There have been some, who on the spur of the moment have responded to a call for help and others who have sought out people in need to offer help. Frontier doctors have been quite unselfish in traveling to remote places to help those in need for limited periods of time. Some lawyers offer pro bono  services to folks in need. But for sustained altruism I have not encountered an an equal to Mortenson. 

[kidsal]

CNN has an ongoing section where people can send them the names of people they consider heroes because of their contributions.  They then pick a yearly hero.  It is amazing how many people are giving of their time and money to projects they have created around the world.

[pedln]

Sallie, I'm glad you mentioned the CNN Heroes.  I have not been watching that, but you have certainly reminded us that there are many who share their time and their gifts.

Do I know anyone like Mortenson?  No, not really.  But I do know people who have tried to make service to others a way of life.  And one who stands out in my mind is a local dentist here, Dr. Dan Cotner, now in his 80’s.  He’s been a practicing dentist since 1949 and has participated in 19 dental volunteer trips to 11 countries, including Pakistan.  The first was in 1968, when he loaded up his family and some borrowed dental equipment for the drive to Guatemala.He taught the indigenous people to perform tooth extractions, which he considers his most worthwhile project ever.  He’s also a music man, has played trombone in the local municipal band for 66 years, and has been organist for his church for 39 years.  He resembles Mortenson not in his deeds, but in the way he has spent his life sharing his talents and skills.

[ALF43]

Kidsal, although I'm certain my name will never make that list, I do believe that most of us do what little we can do daily for mankind.

Like Justin, I've thought and thought about that question and can not pinpoint any personal heroes in my past that are akin to Mortenson.  Without a doubt, Doctors without borders might be a consideration.

[Persian]

My former family doctor in Maryland for more than 25 years participated in many volunteer programs in Africa and the Middle East, whereby he spent his vacation time (little that he had) on Mission trips to small impoverished villages in those two world regions.  His wife (a nurse) usually accompanied him and together they gathered donated equipment and supplies each year to respond to the needs of the villages they visited.  When they had their tax fellow work with them each year, they ALWAYS made sure that they increased the amount of funds they allocated for donations for their Missions.  I've seen pictures of some of the people they worked with and the photos (proudly posted on the office walls in Maryland) show children who progressed to teenage years and then to adulthood.  Now many of them are married and have their own families.

Several years ago, when my husband and I relocated to Concord, NC (about 20 miles NE of Charlotte), I searched for an Opthamologist.  I subsequently became the patient of a man (very similar to my former Maryland doctor) who has committed his time, talent and treasure  for many years to enormously poor villages in Africa.  The two colleagues who often accompanied him have in recent years switched their professional volunteer efforts to Mexico, so my local Opthamologist has taken on that global region in addition to his continued annual trips to Africa.

I have been extremely fortunate to know each man and learn first hand about their various experiences in some of the poorest regions in the world.  I have heard the joy in their voices when they've spoken about their experiences.  Or when each year they return to villages which they visited previously and former patients come to greet them.  It has truly been a delight for me to learn some of their stories, see the photos and share in the delight of knowing how meaningful the visits have been not only to the villagers, but also to these two fine American men who have committed themselves to volunteer their professional talents.

Not all of us have the training, resources or opportunity to "go forth" like Greg Mortenson or the men mentioned above, but we surely have opportunities within our communities to draw on our own talents and experiences to help one another.  As we read through Three Cups of Tea perhaps we will even be encouraged to take some extended footsteps and share our talents.

Mahlia

[kidsal]

You can see the last three years of CNN heroes, or vote for one in 2009 at:

http://www.cnn.com/heroes

[Babi]

  I hadn't thought of him before, but I too knew a doctor who spent a great deal of his time practicing in Africa.  From what I could  gather, he would stay there until he had to come back home and earn enough money to go back to
Africa.  He was one of a family of doctors, so he had the support of his family while away, and always a practice he could join on his return.
   I have not heard from my library yet on my request for an inter-library loan for the Mortenson book.  I'm getting a bit worried; I usually get a pretty quick response on these inter-library loans.