Hi, Everybody! Are you ready for a slight change of pace? Come and join us in discussing this truly entertaining book. For anyone passing by, do drop in and tell us what you think!

If we are able to get a quorum, we will start this discussion on October 1, hopefully.

Lorrie

Count me in Lorrie

Carolyn

Lorrie, Do not cout me in but know that I will be reading the post for a while in here and will spread the word that we are reading this on S/N as it sounds interesting to me.

Carolyn, that's great! And Ginger, thank you for your help which is always appreciated. I do think you should change your mind about reading this book. I have a feeling it's tthe kind of novel you might enjoy.

Lorrie

Lorrie, this is a new title for me. I had never heard of it or the author. It sounds like it would be a good discussion. I'm not ready to commit yet, but am glad to know about the book. Its being in paperback should make it more available. Here's a link to where you can read an excerpt.

http://www.palmdigitalmedia.com/book.cgi/0312273878

Hi, pedln!

Thank you for the link. Yes, this book has sort of crept upon the reader's awareness----I only heard about it through word of mouth, and then reading a couple comments in the Books. I haven't read it yet, but I think it's a subject that so many of our bookies can relate to.

I do hope you will join us. If you do commit yourself, then we need only one more to make a quorum, which means it's a definite go! Let's keep our fingers crossed. And yes, the price is right on this one.

Lorrie

Your clickable has made this book more interesting so I will check this but as you know so much to do and so little time left to do it in. Thanks for your input.

Lorrie, I would love to read this book and join you on the porch for a friendly talk.

Lorrie, I am confused. There are other titles mentioned at the Welcome Center. Will those be offered at a different time???

Hats. we'll make it clearer in the Welcome Center...those titles for the vote will be for a NOVEMBER discusssion. Ladies is proposed for October.

Thanks, Joan. There are some good titles mentioned up at the Welcome Center.

I am on the third book about the ladies. These books do stand on their own and are charming, count me in!

This is great! Welcome, Hats and Paige! We now have our quorum and can go ahead and sort of plan the schedule, etc. We will be putting up a slightly different heading later on, and will add more links and reviews, etc.

I realize that this is merely one in a series about these ladies, but I am told that each book is an entity in itself, so we will concentrate on this particular book. Who knows? If this is successful perhaps we can do the whole series!

Lorrie

It has been a while since I have read the Ladies of Covington but can tell you I really loved each of the characters that were discribed, "as of a certain age." Since this is Seniornet we presumaly are all of a "certain age" and can relate to these wonderful women who decided not to live out the remainder of their lives with the mundane routine that they were caught up in and life in a boarding house. They bonded to pool their talents and resources and each of these so different personalities found new purposes for getting up in the morning. I liked the books and think you will too!

Marge

Count me in as well. The books sounds like it will be both thought provoking, (in a nice way); and an enjoyable read.

As well as being sweet to read it does bring up issues such as:

Gay children

Marital abuse

Relationships between older men and women.

I really loved the book and my sister has the series right now and cannot put the first one down. I am waiting to pick up the second book tomorrow at the library. It is a very uplifting book.

Carolyn

Is this the Golden Girls without Sophia?

And where in the pecking order of the series is the one we're talking about? It does sound interesting.

It is the first one in the series Pedlin

Carolyn

Hoopdedoo!! this is wonderful, to see all your names, some of them I read with affection, and to the new posters, Welcome, welcome!

Yes, Horselover, as you noticed in our scheduling, the month of October is short on Fiction, that's why I suggested this date, then some of us won't be chasing back and forth from one discussion to another, which can be stressful, I know. Also, it's really quite easy to get a copy of the book, and it is a reasonable price.

"THE GOLDEN GIRLS WITHOUT SOPHIA?" Hahahaha I like that one.

Lorrie (of a certain age)

I will be going to the Book Festival in DC for the first week of October. If you don't mind me being a tad tardy for the tea party with you ladies, i would be happy to join you. I must get to the library today and check it out.

Lorrie I went to your sight and loaded the Ladies on my palm pilot for only 4.94. I was glancing at it last night and it looks like I book I would enjoy.

Lorrie: I am so glad you are going to discuss "The Ladies of Covington..." - They have become instant favorites of mine, and now I have the perfect excuse to add the 3 books to my library - so I have them handy. I have seldom read such satisfying and at the same time, thought-provoking books. I was looking for a more controversial adjective to use......maybe later I will add it. I also liked them because they are all plausible and show what can happen when people elect to use their talents and brains, and to not take the easiest road. My compliments to the chooser.

isak

That's great, Judy! I'm glad the book is affordable for so many people.

isak: that is a wonderful recommendation!

Lorrie

Well, I finished the book today and loved it. Don't any of you have any comments to make before we start to discuss it?

Anyone notice that the authors name is misspelled in the heading here? Gave me a bit of trouble trying to find it at the library until the librarian showed their computer had a different spelling.

Okay, Hawk-eye O'Ssharny! This is only a temporary heading, and will have to do until we finish the "real" one, so i thought I could sneak that typo out of there before this, but no, I got caught!

Have you all got your book? I got mine, and Holy Toledo, it is much longer than i thought it would be. There's no way I can read that whole thing before we start, so if all you folks who have read it don't mind, we can sort of read it as we go along. I know that many of us have not had a chance to read the whole thing yet.

Will that be too hard, to keep your mouths shut about the ending, etc? I have made out a schedule, and as soon as our artistic Headings-Creator Marjorie is feeling a little better we will put it here in place of the present one, with a schedule and a few start-off questions.

Lorrie

I have finished the book and returned it to our local Library. I thouroughly enjoyed it and it reminded me a great deal of a book we read on SeniorNet a couple of years ago by a new author. (Greg something or other.) I think the name of it was Betweeen Heaven and Earth or something like that. Anyway the premise was that a few, unfortunate folks came together and lived in an old house, as a joint effort. They continued to love, care for one another and be a part of each other's lives. What could be more heart warming than that?

We all need one another and that is why I enjoyed this story so much. Each woman had her positive and her negative attributes shown. I like that.

That's very good, Alf. I do hope that just because you have read the book you will not participate in our discussion. We need your pithy little comments!

Lorrie

Oops...Thanks, Shirley! I've corrected my typos in the header on the author's name.

check this out ??????????????????????????????????/you will not participate in our discussion.

Does that mean I should or I shouldn't?

Oh, Jane, sorry it was you. Here I was laughing at Lorrie and her comments. When I couldn't find the book at the library and had to ask for help, the librarian sent me off in the direction the computer showed, saying that if I couldn't find it there, maybe the computers were wrong and they would have to change their records. Wow. To think I found an error there but not to be.

I will be returning the book tomorrow but will take part in the discussion as it goes along. I did make notes.

Hi, Shirley....no problem at all. I'm glad you pointed it out. After a while, it's hard to see mistakes, it seems.

Glad we got it corrected!

No, no, Andy! What I meant was, that some people read a book all the way through and then do not participate in a discussion of that book because they feel they have nothing more to add. I do hope that is not the case with both you and Shirley. Okay?

Lorrie

In a couple days I will put up a different heading, a very pretty one that Marjorie is working on, and also a schedule that i think will work out pretty well. We have a little time before the 1st, so we can talk about the author a little bit here, and perhaps the locale of the book itself. Is Codlington a real place? It shows how far along I have gotten in the book. I'm still struggling with the first chapter.

Lorrie

Hi all - If it won't confuse things having 2 Judys in the same discussion, I'd like to join. I'm almost at the end of the book, and am enjoying it. OtherJudy

Hi, Judywolfs! There's plenty of room, and we are delighted to have you join us! Pull up a chair, grab a sentence or two, and let us know how you like the book as we go along.

We will call you JudyW, if that's okay?

Lorrie

All right, you wonderful readers here, we now have a tentative schedule up in the heading for us to follow. I realize that many of you have read the complete book, but I do hope you won't mind going along with us as we read. As we request in every discussion, we ask those readers who know what's ahead to please refrain from jumping ahead of the subject and stay within the time frame designated.

I have only finished three chapters, but I am catching up. Do you all have your first ten chapters read? All I can say now is I think I am going to like these three women!

Lorrie

I won't get back to my computer until the 6th of October but I'll be raring to go. I love these women. Theyare genuine and full of impulsive foolishness like each of us. This author characterizes their eccentricities and their idiosyncracies and I found myself giggling because I know people just like this. Let's face it we all have our "kinks" and I used to tell my best friend "It is the friend that KNOWS you and loves you in spite of your shortcomings that is truly the friend."

Just checking in. I finished the book last week and really enjoyed it. I will be here October 1st God willing.

That's fine, Alf, we'll be waiting here when you get back from Washington.

Hello again, Judy! We will look for you on the 1st.

Lorrie

Oh, yes, Horselover, get thee to a computer wherever you are in California. I do so enjoy your posts, and in other discussions, too! At least we know that these three plucky ladies have a cheering section right here to egg them on!

Lorrie

If I can get it from the library I'll participate. ~Marj

I like the scheduled discussion.

Well, thank you, MargeV! It's good to hear a voice of approval, it means a lot. I'm so glad you will be joining us.

Lorrie

I have read the book and it didn't take long as I liked it so much..I could relate very well to these women and their feelings......

Hi, tigerlily!

Yes, it's funny how so many of you have responded that these women have struck a chord in them. We can all relate to their foibles, aspirations, can't we? Oh, I know we are going to have fun talking about the "Ladies". That's what I am going to call them----that's a really long title.

Lorrie

I am so glad these books will be discussed. I read the first two some time ago.

Without giving away any of the plot, I will say I could identify with the area they move to. We lived in Asheville, NC for almost l8 years, and I enjoy the references to it and other towns near there.

They are interesting women, and it should be a good discussion.

Marilyn

Good to see a pre discussion going on here. Guess I'll have to get here more than twice a week.

Judy Laird, I believe there is a saying "if the good Lord willing and the creek don't rise" so that might be appropriate at this time. Hope you don't live in the East cuz Isabel sure is making the creek rise. Are any of the people in this discussion in that area? Hope your homes are not damaged.

Lorrie, just for you, I will see if I can get the book from the library again to figure out what goes on in those chapters as I sure don't want to give anything away except my good wishes. Well, I do want to read the next two books about the Ladies as this was very good.

Very good, Shirley! And I do appreciate your consideration in not wanting to jump in way ahead of time during the reading of the book.

Lorrie

Welcome, Marilyn!

Loved all three of the "LADIES" books and will be interested in everyone's comments. You may find you have a friend just like one of these characters in the book but if not you will dearly love to meet one exactly like at least one of them! I found them a welcome relaxing read after more controversial and challenging books.

Marge

Hi---

Here's a website by Joan Medlicott. Also has her e-mail addy, Lorrie. Give you ideas!!!!!

http://www.joanmedlicott.com/bio.html

Tally Ho! Marj

Marj that is such a cool web site. Lorrie I just bet she would come right over here and talk to us. Check it out.

Sure is, Judy. She was right up front about her life and challenges. I liked that.

~Marj

Okay, all you latecomers, I have already "been there, done that." I contacted Ms. Medlicott some time ago, with an official invitation, and am still waiting for a reply. Yes, it would be really great if she could join us here!

Lorrie

Lorrie- just a thought that if you contacted her by e-mail it may have gone astray. My suggestion is you re-email and re-snailmail;\you might even be able to get her phone number.

MargV:

It is my understanding that most all published authors value their privacy zealously. It is almost unheard of for an author to give out his or her telephone number, if requested. A public website, like Ms. Medlicott's, is one thing, because it practically invites response, but after two emails, (one to her publisher) and one snail mail letter, I really do think we have gone as far as we can without pressuring this good lady to join us.

Lorrie

You sure did a large amount of contact, Lorrie! This discussion will be great without the author. Probably even more open to comment! Thanks----Marj

Interview with Joan Medlicott

See the picture of a younger Joan Medlicott. She was in her sixties when she was first published! That surely gives us some food for thought, doesn't it?

Lorrie

Hi Lorrie, thank you for the link to the interview. I think Joan Medlicott's age is very inspiring. Now, I really want to read this book.

Does anyone else have this problem? Whenever I link on to Medlicott's website, if I click on the Map thing, I get a huge notice of Adobe Acrobat, with no exit button and I have to close down to get out of there. Anybody know why this is?

Incidentally, thanks MargeV for the link to the website---I think I will put it in the heading, okay?

I was curious about the setting for this book, and wondered if there actually was such a place called Covington, that's why i was trying to get the map.

Lorrie

LORRIE, according to Mapquest, there are two Covingtons in North Carolina, one in Caswell County and the other in Richmond County. Below is a link to a map of the Caswell County Covington.

Covington, NC map

Thank you, Mal.

Lorrie

Lorrie, good to put all links in the heading. If I can get a ppbk copy I'll be in....the one from the library smells so strongly of perfume I can't read it. Sigh!

~Marj

The author's references to Asheville, Mars Hill, etc. would indicate the location to be in either Buncombe County or Madison County, NC. She lives in Bernardsville, which is in northern Buncombe.

I believe the other counties mentioned are in the eastern part of the state (I didn't look at the map, sorry!).

Marilyn

Lorrie, I went to the interview with Joan Medlicott and was interested to see she has a number of books. Six for this series alone. I thought someone had mentioned the names of the second and third books but after searching the previous posts, I can't find the info. Does anyone know the names of bokks two and three? Or shall I wait til I check the book out at the library again and look for the other books myself? Just curious.

Tonight I am off to the book discussion group at the local library. Must say I didn't like this months book at all. Had a premonition I wouldn't.

The second one is The Gardens of Covington Next is From the Heart of Covington. Thats all I know and I hope they are in the right order.

The Ladies of Covington Send Their Love St. Martin's, 2000

The Gardens of Covington St. Martin's, 2001

From The Heart of Covington Thomas Dunne Books(St. Martin's Press), 2002

You were right, Judy!

Shirley, what was the title of the book chosen for discussion at your library group?

Lorrie

So how is everyone coming along with their reading? I have finished the first ten chapters and am now going on with the tale of these intrepid ladies. I can tell you right now that i like them all very much.

I live in a Senior Independent Living Apartment and these three characters remind me so much of some of my neighbors. In our case, of course, we don't have an intrusive "house mother" like Olive.

And the area in which they decide to move in North Carolina sounds wonderful, doesn't it? I especiall noted the possibility of light snowfall there, unlike the smothering snowfalls we get here in Minnesota. All in all, I'm glad i have this book to read on these chilly evenings.

Lorrie

Thanks Judy and Lorrie for the names of the books in the series. After I posted, I thought, "hey, stupid, look at the local library yourself" and so I did. Yes they have them so I checked out the second book and am staying up nights reading it. Not only that, but at the discussion, we were planning the books for next year so I suggested The Ladies and it is on the schedule now. Previously, the librarians set up the schedule, but we only see our gal every other month and of course, she doesn't stay with us or have the time to plan our reading.

The book we discussed this month was "Red Badge of Courage" by Stephen Crane. One out of six liked it.It was written in 1895 and is about the Civil War. It won a Literary Award. This month we have "Sophie's Choice" by William Styron and I believe he won an award for this book. It is 515 pages, small print, hard cover. I think I will really like this one. He also wrote "The Confessions of Nat Turner in 1967 and won the Pulitzer Prize for that year. I joined the discussion group to raise my level of reading and I guess I have.

O'Sharny, hi. Just scrolling through and your comment on Wm. Styron caught my attention. I am in the middle of reading his book 'Confessions of Nat Turner' and just wondered if you have read it? I can't remember where I got this book's particular recommendation since I glean them from everywhere. I was surprised when I found it on our Libray's shelf that it was such an old book. Have you read this book and what did you think of it?

So many books, so little time! To quote" if there are no books in heaven...I'm not going!"

Marge

Hi camper2. No, I have not read that book and don't expect to even tho it must be a good book. Are you finding it interesting? As you said "so many books - so little time". It's not typical of me to have a lot of projects going but I looked around today and feel like I'm swamped. Must get a few things done as that is the way I do things - normally. I just hope I'm not running out of time! I'm outta here for now.

This book is a good choice, so enjoyable with likeable characters. I can't wait for the discussion. Like you, I've read the first ten chapters and am continuing on.

O'Sharny, I've "seen" you at the Wisconsin site. Glad you are participating here. I haven't read either of the Styron books you mentioned, but have a paperback copy of "Sophie's Choice" on the shelf. Please let me know how you like it. "Red Badge of Courage," definitely not a woman's book, although I think of its Henry Fleming whenever I see news picts. of troops shipping out.

Which city are you in -- Milwaukee area or further north? I grew up on the western shores of Lake M also -- in Racine. Now on the western shore of the Mississippi.

Oh my goodness, I can't believe you people didn't enjoy Red Badge of Courage! I thought it was so wonderful! I've read it at least couple times, maybe 3. (first time was about 45 or 50 years ago). - JudyS (the Other Judy)

Listen, forgive me for changing the subject here, but I did have to come in here to tell you all about our new project here on SeniorNet. The producers of PBS TV and our Books are going to work together on a documentary they will be televising on OCt. 6 (check your local listings)At the same time we will be running a discussion of this same program before, during, and after the showing. It's called "Horatio's Drive" and it's the hilarious adventure of the first man who made a cross-country trip in an old 1903 Winton, with no windows, no roof, no highways, no gas stations, no parts stores, no nothing! Come on in and tell us about all your memories of old time "drives" in the family car, etc. We'd love to hear from you!

HORATIO'S DRIVE

Oh could I write a book on our first car - A baby Austin! Even the story of its purchase is a tale in itself. Cars were not common here even in 1954. I knew hardly any person who had a car right up until I was about 10. I may pop in to the Horatio discussion if I get a minute. Are furriners included?

Carolyn

Oh, Caroline, that's exactly the kind of posts we want in the few days before the TV presentation--In fact, Bill H, another of our Discussion Leaders, is itching to tell us all about their first family car, an old Buick. This is the sort of related tales the producers of the program and we Bookies want to hear about! And yes, EVERYONE is welcome!, even "furriners!" Come join us, starting tomorrow!

Not to fear, Readers. The Horatio discussion will be finished long before we put this lovely book to rest. We will still continue to be enthralled at the adventures of the three "Ladies of Covingon."

Lorrie

Hark! Do you all see the wonderful banner for here right down at the bottom of this page? We'll be famous!

Look now because these banners are very fleeting things.

Lorrie

Hi O'Sharney.

I'm not quite sure how I feel about this book. It is not one you can read and after the first chapter state, " this is a book about.." It is rather graphically explicit but not just for the shock value, I didn't feel. I'm sure as white person that for me it is definitley an educational enlightment.

This is our camping club's last campout of the season. We all bring chili then dump it all together in a big iron pot over the campfire. Surprisingly it turns out quite good! That's because the wimps and the hot tamale type balances each other out! Hope Mother Nature smiles on us and gives us a nice weekend.

Marge

Well, it's after midnight, and actually the 1st of October, so I think we can officially open our discussion. I have dutifully read these first ten chapters, and managed to go on a little further, but I have to tell you, it's such a satisfying book, isn't it?

We take to these three women immediately, and like someone else mentioned, they remind us all of someone we know or did know. Did you already decide you secretly like one better than the other two? I did. There's something about Hannah with her stoic acceptance of the pain from her hip and back, her instinctive love for growing things, and her sturdy Naturalizer shoes, that I found most endearing.

We get really involved in the process of "fixing up" the farmhouse, don't we? This author describes it perfectly, and we keep reading on, wondering what will happen next.

Lorrie

Hi Lorrie and All,

Lorrie, I like Hannah too. Working with a handicap can never be easy. One year during vacation my husband broke his leg. It took months of healing and learning how to use crutches. Not easy one bit.

Secretly, I like Grace the best. I like the fact that Grace comes right out and admits her fears about driving long distances or on the interstate. I can identify with Grace. I love driving. I hate to drive during the busy hours. It also took a lot of strength and concern for Grace to visit Amelia's room and find out more about her.

Of course, I love Amelia too. She has led such a terribly sad life.

I thought at first I liked Grace the most. Then after reading all 3 books, I have a different attitude toward Hannah. (No, I won't give anything away!).

When you read fiction, do you get a mental picture of the characters, even if the author doesn't describe them a lot?

What surprises me is the almost instant bonding, since they are all quite different. That's what makes life exciting, isn't it?

Marilyn

Yes, Marilyn, very often we get a mental picture of certain characters simply from dialogue alone, without much description at all. Hemingway was very good at this, and F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Do you suppose the instant bonding came from the fact that at that particular point in time they all were feeling just a bit either abandoned or pressured by their relatives, and they also had a lot in common with the dreary outlook of their living conditions?

Thanks for not giving anything away.

Welcome to you, Hats!

Lorrie

Marilyn, I think I'm with you on Hannah. I've read a bit beyond the first ten chapters, and if I had to pick one I liked the best, right now it would be Hannah. (But I do tend to flip-flop and wishy-wash.) When I first started I was comparing them to the "Golden Girls" thinking Amelia a "Rose" and Hannah more a "Dorothy." None is like Blanche. But I've gotten away from that now.

Certainly the issues they face are ones many of us have faced at some time --relationships with children and grandchilden, grieving for loved ones, being afraid of the unknown, unpleasant body changes, etc.

Have questions popped for you? One that keeps bothering me, not a crucial matter, but still there is: If Roger didn't want Grace to continue living alone, why would he uproot her to a place so far from the only home she has ever known? Dentry is an hour away from Dayton. Regardless of which direction, that's a far piece fromn Pennsylvania. It must have been devastating for Grace to know that she probably would rarely see any of her former friends.

I love the premise of the book - women gaining independance by exercising inter-dependance. And I enjoy so much reading the details that allow me to really "see" the settings and characters - the farmhouse, Amelia's straw hat, the dismal atmosphere of the boarding house, the sunset, etc.

But I find reading the book somewhat disconcerting, in that whole blocks of time are simply skipped. For example, how did Amelia's recovery go, and what happened during it that inspired her with the idea of bringing her friends down to Covington? It seems there she is in a hospital bed and (TaDah) the next page she's completely healed, planning the trip. Same thing with the end of the ladies' first trip to Covington. Back they go to the boardinghouse, and (BANG!) the autumn, winter and early spring disappear, and there they are at Covington again.

Judy W:

I see what you mean. Those gaps bothered me a little, too. I guess we just have to make that mental hurdle ourselves. I would have been easier of the author had tried to segue into the next phase a little more smoothly, this way the change seems too abrupt. Ah well, minor points, but worth mentioning here. That's what this discussion is all about, Judy.

Lorrie

I find it interesting that the ladies find more kinship with women their own age than with their biological children. I think their feelings make very good sense. It is difficult to talk to younger people about health ailments, fears or dramatic change until they have lived through such life experiences. Is this the generation gap?

At the same time, I know and have experienced wonderful experiences with young people. For instance, my own boys, young men, are very understanding and listen closely to my experiences, the experiences I choose to share. I feel there are some experiences only other women my own age can understand and help me get through in a dignified manner.

I don't think it matters what age you are unless you have experienced something yourself you don't have any idea what others are going through. For instance until you actually lose your partner you have no idea of the pain it causes. I used to mouth off platitudes to people and until my husband died I had no idea at all how very very painful it is. I have met young people who know what it is to have a chronic illness and old people who are very healthy and have no idea what it is to be constricted in lifestyle and don't have a lot of empathy for those who are. This book exposes a lot of the situations older single women battle with every day.

Carolyn, I think that is why it is dangerous to use the words "I know just how you feel." You don't know unless you have experienced it.

How true Hats! How many times do we hear that said!

Carolyn

Horselover, I agree that Hannah is often the spokesperson for the group. Have you noticed how Hannah’s speech pattern almost always leaves out the “I” and “we” and “you”, making her come across as quite impersonal? She seems to be so sensible and matter-of-fact .

I surely do not like Hannah’s daughters. Hats, you mentioned the possibility of the generation gap coming into play between the ladies and their children. I think it’s more that the kids act downright cold, selfish and self-serving. I’m not crazy about Grace’s son Roger either. How dare he disrupt Grace’s entire life, remove her from her home only to abandon her in that boarding house among strangers while he trots happily off across the ocean with Charles (who, by the way, seems like a kind, loving man).

Wow, I guess I must have identified rather strongly with the ladies, to spring to their defense so agressively! - Judy W

Judy, do you think Hannah is the "spokesperson" of the three because she has had to do a lot more decision-making than Amelia and Grace? She has been independent from early on in her marriage and after while the other two were more taken care of.

I truly loved the book.....HOWEVER I cannot see how Grace could have allowed her son to do what he did.....I know she is the more timid and unsure of the three but I just cannot imagine it! You know...I see a lot of all three womens personality's in my friends and in myself..........very true statements about the pain experienced by different bumps in our lives......until you have lived through the loss of a loved one, a gay child, a disability I don't think you can know what it feels like.......you can be there for the person though and listen with caring and love..............

hi Pedln - good point on why Hannah is the ladies' spokesperson. I think you're right about her having a lot of experience with decison making and being on her own. Also, the other two seem rather hesitant and unsure in expressing their opinions, while and Hannah speaks right up, so maybe it's by default that she's somewhat dominant in the trio.

Maybe Hannah plays the role of the traditional Dad of the Covington "family" - solid, dependable, unemotional. And Amelia seems quite childlike - dependant, irresponsible, afraid, seeking approval, emotional. So would that mean Grace might be the mom? She follows orders, She's a nuturing cook, a soother of boo-boos with her bandana. Oh my! - JudyW

Hannah is not free of problems. In fact her manner results from being an abused wife having to flee the family home and never feeling safe for many years. She has suppressed her emotions to the point where as a senior she still finds it almost impossible to express her real feelings. She is every bit as wounded by life as the other two ladies.

Oh, these are all such good thoughts! I have so much to say to all of you, but have some errands to do, will be back shortly with a long post.

Lorrie

Horselover:

In post#85 you mentioned that you thought the writing was a bit pedestrian, and I think I agree with you. Be that as it may, this author has made up for it by really vivid characterization. One of the things i like about these three ladies is to me they seem so "real." They are exactly like women of an age whom I know and like, and she draws a written picture of them that sticks in the mind. You brought up the question that Amelia asks. As you suggested, I would like to ask this question of us here: Do you feel old?

I had to laugh at your remark about the dream contractor. Would that I had known one like that when we remodeled our house! Hahaha

Lorrie

HATS: Like many of you, I am not too fond of what wwe see of any of the children of these women. Perhaps that is why they find more kinship with each other. It's a tragedy that they can't seem to communicate, isn't it? Like Grace putting off talking to her son even after many strident messages.

CAROLYN;

What you said is so true"I used to mouth off platitudes to people and until my husband died I had no idea at all how painful it is." and like Hats says, it's dangerous to say "I know just how you feel," or the one that gets me, " I am sharing your pain." Ugh!

JUDYW:

I think I will have to go back and check on this, but what exactly did Grace's son Roger want her to do? Wasn't it something about starting a business with his companion and Hannah's daughter? And it is nice to see you defend these women so vigorously! But like Tigerliley, I don't understand Grace's trepidation.

PEDLN:

It would seem that Hannah is more qualified to be the "spokesperson," doesn't it? After all, she had been in business (the nursery).

Lorrie

It seems to me if I remeber that Roger moved his Mother out of her home and into the boarding house with out any consent from her. Could be wrong.

Do any of you see yourself in these women? When I think of the decisions I made for my adoptive Mother because I figured she was old and I knew it all. I quake in my boots now thinking how little I really knew.

Yes, Judy Laird, I agree. Grace was told she had to give up her home because Roger was worried about her and her "little heart attack." It was much later that Roger announced he needed money to start a new business, so she should sell the house. Awfully conniving, if you ask me. - JudyW

When you read about the shenanigans and the things that some seniors' children pull on their parents, it scares one, doesn't it? In today's paper there's a story of a man and his wife who bilked the man's mother out of six million dollars while she was in a nursing home that they had put her in because they "didn't want to be troubled by her" She finally had to go on welfare, and now the state welfare agencies are suing the man for $750,000 for nursing home and medical costs. One comment the son made to reporters was, "I don't know why they are coming after me, I didn't do anything---she was an old lady." So much for filial devotion.

Lorrie

Lorrie, that is so sad. It does happen.

I live in a small elderly cottage. It needs redecorating but is basically sound and I love the neighbours (multicultural) and the convenience of being so close to all amenities. I feel safe here. I had a phone call from NO 1 son the other week. ( he has a decorating company)

"Mum - Graham (designer and builder son no 2) and I have been talking about you. We have decided to get you to sell your house and we will build you a brand new one with a rental unit attached." (I have the studio here which I rent to Ruth my best friend from schooldays)

Now I do not want to move - my daughter with the sick kids moved down here to live 5mins from me. We support each other. There are no lots of land here to build on and those that will be coming available will not be private like this one. I have neighbours who really watch out for me and care about me. Why would I want to move? The last idea they had was to ensconce me in an apartment in a posh area because they felt this area was not good enough for their Mum.

I have told them I am NOT moving. I am happy and secure here. No is a final answer. I was told it was no use talking to me I am unreasonable! DIL told her husband to leave me alone and I should be allowed to live where I was happy. I love this DIL!

Every now and again I know the subject will be broached again but I am determined NOT to give in!

Carolyn

Good to see this discussion started. I'm well into the second book and truly enjoying it.

Isn't it "authors privilege" to skip time periods? I feel it is a fast way to get on with the story. What bothers me is time during the day that seems to crawl along or speed up. Must stop now to check the book for a comment I want to make.

Oh, Carolyn, hold fast!! Your two sons don't seem to realize that moving to another location would be a traumatic, stressful endeavor that will only cause you grief. They mean well, dear Carolyn, but it's another case of this generational gap where the children, from that vast superiority of theirs, feel that "they know best"

Can't they just offer to decorate? someone should explain to your well-meaning sons that if you should do as they ask, you would be miserable later, and for years would resent their forcing you to make that kind of decision.

Your DIL sounds great!

Lorrie

What our children think we need are not the things we necessarily want as we grow older......our needs and wants have changed...I remember well how I couldn't understand why my mother did and liked to do some of the things she did .....I am now she and I very much like and do some of the very same things she did...... My son tries to be "to helpful" sometimes and I have to become a little assertive with him......He likes to rearrange my pantry and cabinets!!!!

TigerLily, at least your son's rearranging of your pantry is an attempt to help. But that can be so annoying. Does he put stuff down too low where you have to bend and kneel to get at it? Or behind other stuff so you have to move a mountain of heavy things to get at your favorite mixing bowl?

Kiwi, thank god for your Daughter in Law! I hope your sons are just misguided, and not actually plotting to carry out their ideas of "what's good for mum" behind your back somehow.

When my husband's mother moved into an assisted living apartment, her two daughters came to "help." They sorted through her belongings as if they were at somebody's garage sale - just made snap decisions about what she should and shouldn't keep without giving her a chance to consider.

After they left, I took as much of the huge "get rid of" pile as I could to my house and stored it in the garage. A couple times a week I'd have my mother in law over, to go through a box or two. We found boxes of family photos including her wedding album, some of her favorite jewelry, all of her winter clothes, christmas tree ornaments she had collected all her life. It took months, but she DID get to make her own decisions from the boxes I was able to steal from the throw-away pile. My gracious, except for a pair of slippers and the loafers she was wearing during sorting day, they had thrown away all of her shoes! But ha ha - there they were in one of the stolen boxes, so she got them back. - JudyW

Well, JudyW, you are a treasure!! What a kind thing to do for your mother-in-law. Doesn't it make you feel good to think that in a small way, you made an older person happy? It brings to mind the campaign we were on a couple years back, with the slogan "Every day do a mindless act of kindness," or something like that.

About the book------- I notice that the author uses real issues in her story, issues that confront aging women, like health concerns, financial, the pursuits of life-long dreams, generational gaps between parent/child, and the need for female companions and relationships.

Is there any one, or all, of these issues that has a special significance for you? Tell us.

Lorrie

I have to say that ALL of the issues concerning these women concern me as I grow older...for my health I am trying to eat less and better, go to exercise class, walk my dog several times a day....For community and relationships I go to a Christian church which is very inclusive and also very active for social justice......we have just adopted a Liberian refugee family with four little ones and another on the way..we cook and serve food for the homeless twice a month and 30% of our budget goes toward helping the needy.... I volunteer at a garden at the University and this is also good for my spirit and my soul.......I have met a dear man, who is in charge of my part of the garden and he looks after me while I am working there.....by that I mean he does the heavy stuff and lets me do the fun stuff......I shall miss my garden this winter but have a quilt cut out to piece.....The helpful son cut it out for me as his mother is a little mathematically challenged and I am sure I would have muffed it up......The next one I will do...... I meet many of my nurse friends at exercise class and we laugh and have a great time....I am grateful and fortunate that I am having such a good beginning to my "old" age......Now if I can just keep my boy out of the pantry.....He doesn't really put things where I cannot reach them......he "organizes" things .......lol

Tigerlily, it surely sounds to me as though you "have your act together" as my niece says.

Beware of people who "organize" your things. I will never forget when my husband first retired, with little to do, he decided to "reorganize" all my closets and cupboards! Yeek! He told me I had no sense of organization, and I retorted that my lousy organiztion had made it easy for him to find things for 35 years. Hahaha

Yes, I think ALL of the issues have an impotance to me, also.

Lorrie

Way to go Carolyn you are my hero.

Many of you know my circumstance of finding my birth Mother 4 years ago. I know have a second chance to get it right. We are going to try to accept her wished until its absolutly not possible. She has dementia but still lives alone and is a constant worry to all of us.

I lost my best friend not long ago and I saw her apt which was far away from here. She had stuffed pilled high everywhere. She was so interested in so many things. My fear is now if I should go suddenly who is going to go through all my STUFF. I have started to clean and go through some things but when you can't throw away anything its a huge task. hehe Have a great day everyone I am off to work and then go see the old woman. haha

Yes indeed those Covington ladies deal with significant real life issues.

I felt such sympathy for Hannah when her simple desire for a relaxing, luxurious bath at the motel turned into such a painful threatening experience. Chronic pain is gruesome to deal with.

I respected Grace for her honesty – she insisted on admitting to Amelia that she went snooping around her room, she so freely spoke of her fear of driving faster than a “typical old lady” would drive and she clearly expresses her fear of change; but most of all I wonder why she so fears displeasing her son. She's brave throughout the book to look these fears straight in the face and work to overcome them.

Amelia is the mystery personality, I don’t find her familiar at all. While I certainly recognize the tragic, terrible loss of her child; even that didn’t really evoke sympathy in me for Amelia. Odd. Perhaps, unlike Grace or Hannah, Amelia doesn’t seem very real to me. - JudyW

I too have trouble relating to Amelia - I think she was one of those women who lived through others and has trouble even finding her own self.

As for the other issues, well-meaning kids are one thing, selfish kids are another, and sometimes they can be mixed together. In this book, so far at least, it appears that the very adult children of Grace and Hannah are still being kids and expect their parents to make sacrifices for them.

Things to watch for, and the woman who had all her personal items tossed by her daughters may have (almost?) been a victim - is elder abuse. As adults, we have the right to make our own choices, even unwisely, and we don't lose that right just because we are over 60.

N

I keep telling my son that I am going to post the elder abuse hot line over the telephone.....then we both have a good laugh....I think though that he knows this is my way of saying "back off a little".... It saddens me to think of those for whom the line is a very necessary thing that someone might need to use on their behalf...... Amelia was not my favorite character either.....now I need to think why that is....I think I see her as rather spoiled and self centerd.....even those who have had great tragedy strike can still be spoiled and self centerd......I may be off the mark here but that is how she seems to me...... I identify much more with Grace and Hannah.....probably because their life styles were more like mine.........

N, I have trouble relating to Amanda, and also Grace. They are such timid ladies. But perhaps my turn will come some day. Hannah I can relate to more -- how it must really bother her to be dependent on others, and I feel for her knees and hips. I have a knee that periodically gets swollen and painful. Two weeks ago it was a whopper, and my friends brought me food, drove me to the doctor, did my laundry, and so on. Now it's fine again, but I know that for anything long term you really can't expect your friends to take care of you. It's either family or you do something yourself.

Those of you with organizing children -- please send one to me. I need someone to say, throw throw throw. My children live on the East and West Coasts, and I'm plunk in the middle. When I had heart surgery 6 years ago my oldest daughter organized a round robin care team with all the kids taking turns for my care, but they pretty much figure I'm capable of making my own decisions -- so far, anyway.

Pedlin thats the fun of the book and we all interpret the ladies...I have not the serious problems you and others have at the present time however I have cared for many elderly who HAVE and I remember how hopeless and helpless and frustrated many of them were.... I have fallen several times lately, rushing around and not being careful..thank goodness all I did was scrape knees and elbows but I am going to slow down some and put head into action before feet.....I think I am also going to ditch the slides I am so fond of and wear some REAL shoes......I would be in a fix if I did get down as my husband is not any shape to do much.........However I probably could count on "my organizer"......I love Grace because she is a "good listener" which is a gift.......also she loves cooking and doing for others which I suppose fits right into my caregiver role.......

Does anybody think that Grace's prune/meatball recipe would be ok to eat? I think I wouldn't be able to choke it down. How about somebody (not me) try cooking it, and let us know how it turns out. - JudyW

Prunes go very well with meat and a friend of mine used to stuff her wild duck with a prune and rice stuffing. I am sure the prune recipe would be delicious.

My way of showing love - I am not a huggy person is to make food for the person I love. It was a joke amongst the kids that I liked to stuff them with food. I can't do it now as it just costs too much but when I stay with them I will go into their kitchens (luckily my DILs are happy to let me loose) and cook for them. I am dying to get into Grahams huge new kitchen in his new house. I just love using all the gadgets and the wonderful appliances I don't have in my elderly house. I could spend all day cooking in a space age kitchen. My idea of heaven!

Carolyn

Kiwi/Caroline - I love to cook too, but I can't stand the gadgets. I threw out my electric can opener long ago - and the garlic press, and other odds and ends. I love to use a wisk or a fork instead of an electric beaters, a knife instead of a food processor or blender, a hand masher for mashed potatoes. I even have one of those old glass lemon juice makers. The kitchen stays so much quieter, and it seems so much more satisfying. But I admit cooking takes a lot longer that way. I do have an electric waffle-maker, which I like.

Hi All,

Just thought I would put my two cents worth in here! I loved all three of the Covington books I've read and it is so much fun to catch everyone's opinionsas I scroll through! I think it is easy for all of us to understand Hannah. She is so direct: no guessing games there! I think maybe since she has been on her own so long she didn't have any choice but to make her decisions and live by the results. Grace strikes me as the perpetual caretaker. We all know a Grace. She's the first one there in times of trouble with her covered dish, sympathetic phone call, offer of transportation...whatever is needed. To me, Amelia seems fragile. Just the opposite of Hannah. I don't think Amelia made decisions. Some people would rather not while others are not allowed. Do you think that is why Amelia seems almost whiny? These ladies do blend well though don't they?

Marge

I like prunes, so that recipe for meat balls doesn't seem so outlandish to me. I was looking over some of Grace's recipes, and they do seem tempting. I was going to make the threee-layered Vienna cake but I only have two layer pans and was too lazy to improvise. I will try the Cheesy Caulfiflower bake, though. That sounds delicious, and easy!

Camper2:

I think of Amelia as sort of whiney, too. She seems so flip-floppy sometimes, at least to me.

Lorrie

Well, poop de do. All this talk of good food and I don't have those recipes. I have a paperback copy from St. Martin's Press and it has only the recipe for Grace's Sugar Cookies. I'd sure like to try the cauliflower recipe Lorrie mentioned -- anything easy and delicious.

pedln:

Try clicking on the link up in the heading here for Joan Medlicott's home-page, or official website, scroll down to "Covington Recipes" and Voila!

Lorrie

Thanks Lorrie. I don't know how I missed that. All those recipes look pretty good, but I'm partial to easy. We have a lot of pot luck dinners around here and I'm always looking for BAKED vegetables like the cheesy cauliflower when I have to carry them. They tend to stay hot longer.

If you use half brocolli and half cauliflower the bake will be even better! We have done a bake half and half for many years in our family.

Half and Half! I like it! I go to a lot of pot lucks, too!

Prune-stuffed meatballs, cheesy cauliflower bake, sugar cookies. they all seem like Grace, don't they? For some reason, I think of her also as a sort of meatloaf person, or baked potato person. I don't know why. Hahahaha

Lorrie

I think Grace is an apple pie person. I learnt to cook everything from scratch and I still do. Its so much cheaper than buying prepared things. I even make my own yoghurt. I can buy bread cheaper than I can bake it but when the kids were small even though I worked full time I made bread for years. I would make my dough as soon as I got home and bake it before bed. No breadmaker! I do make raisin loaves and wholemeal rolls sometimes if I am in the mood. I make all my own sauces and pastry. I will occasionally buy a pasta sauce but it has to be a really good special. Its not cheating to use tinned tomatos to make sauces as they are often much cheaper than fresh tomatos. Tonight for dessert I have made a fruit jelly with all sorts of fruit set in it and will serve with my home made plain yoghurt instead of icecream or cream. Ruth is cooking corned beef,mashed potato and asparagus for the main course. As Ruth says we eat like kings and it costs us very little.

Carolyn

Prunes are good for you. Bill loves prunes. I hate prunes!! So, I could do without Grace's meatballs. I would love to try the cheesy cauliflower bake.

Okay, Carolyn, whenever you are in the job market again, I know of a wonderful place where they pay a fabulous salary for a cook who refuses to use most prepared foods. If I were able i would take it myself.

Speaking of our characters' trends in cooking, I would say that Hannah is definitely a salad sort of person! After all, she has a whole garden supply right outside her door.

Lorrie

If you all don't see my name here for a couple hours, you will understand why when i tell you that I am from Minnesota, and a die-hard Minnesota Twins fan! Need I say more?

Lorrie

Hannah is a vegetable person- yes. My MIL was also a gardener and would serve up to five vegetables at each meal. I liked Hannah as a person I could see a wonderful person through that crusty exterior.

Carolyn

I like Hannah too. I think her love of flowers means underneath all that crustiness there is a soft heart.

Carolyn, you sound like my DIL. She cooks everything from scratch (except for the chicken nuggests and pizza bagels that are the kids' lunch staples.) Her own mayonnaise, biscotti, pizza, bread. And she makes it seem so easy. I really admire her. She does dry wall too.

So, Grace is a good cook, Hannah does wonders with the garden. What about Amelia, what are her offerings, other than the house, of course.

Amelia puts beauty into the surroundings. Her flower arranging etc and I think she would do lovely table settings etc.

Carolyn

I would like to ask you this: if you were to describe the strength and weaknesses of each woman, how would you explain the way in which they complement each other? What makes this household work so well?

Lorrie

Amelia seems to find her strength in her faith. At one point, when she is so upset or afraid, she goes to the Church of Our Lady and says a prayer. I think Amelia brings her faith to the group. Plus, Amelia is a generous person, willing to share with others. Without the gift of the house all of these ladies would be back at Olive's boarding house. She also mentioned putting all of their names on the deed to the house. Amelia is also a good listener.

I have been rereading some of the first chapters, and i think the way these ladies handled their first crisis was admirable. When a pipe burst and Hannah found herself in a puddle of water, she seemed to know just what to do, and instead of fluttering about helplessly in panic, Grace and Amelia did very well assisting in their part.

This could have been worse. This shows already they are learning to work as a team. A team of three. I think this is a good indicator of how they will relate to one another in the future.

What did you think of Olive's outburst when they told her they would be leaving? I thought it was mean-spirited, even cruel, calling Hannah a cripple, for instance.

Lorrrie

Lorrie, I thought Grace especially came throught that flood incident with flying colors. She didn't panic at all, but brought up what she had learned "by osmosis" from Ted. If Amelia had been by herself then I think she would have fallen apart, but the other two got her back on track. And then later, when they were back in Branston and all having second thoughts it was Amelia who turned them around with her "visualization" technique. As you say, they are certainly showing teamwork.

As for Olive, I think she's a grump and complainer period, and as Hannah said, maybe she's jealous. Actually, Olive should be grateful they came back at all -- they could have just given one month's notice and stayed in North Carolina, or gone to PA just long enough to pack. But one of them did say, "we can't just leave Olive in the lurch. She's got to find three others to replace us."

Horselover, you mentioned Hannah's pangs of jealousy when she sees Amelia and Grace enjoying each other's company without her. I wondered about that too. It comes up more than once, and I was a little surprised, Hannah being so independent. I would have thought it more likely of Amelia or Grace as they sometimes come across as being a little short of self-esteem. Especially Amelia.

Lorrie, I must confess that I have finished the second book and thought that you had jumped to that book when you mentioned the recipes such as the Vienna cake. That recipe is at the back of the second book (is it ok to mention that?)

When the plumbing crisis was over and they went to the kitchen for ice cream, didn't that remind you of the Golden Girls?

Now there is a culture difference - we would not think of eating icecream as a comfort food or like the three women did that day. We would more likely go to the kitchen for a cup of tea and a gingernut cookie or the someone would make a quick batch of scones. We would drink a whole pot of tea and have several refills! Going back to the days when we were part of the British Empire tea is a cure for all ills. If we have a shock the first thing older NZers like me would do is put on the kettle for a pot of tea.

No, no, Shirley, we are concentrating on only the first book, "Ladies of Covington Send Their Love". Which reminds me. I know that several of you have finished this book, and perhaps one or two more, and I realize that the temptation is strong to jump ahead in our discussion. Like someone, for instance, who referred to the mysterious truck, (that appears in the next chapter).

We do appreciate it when you confine your remarks to the assigned chapters. I know it's difficult, but if those three ladies can practice self-control, we can, too. Hahahaha

Lorrie

Caroline, isn't that typical of the British, though. I remember one wartime movie when one of the American servicemen working with the British troops made the remark, somethink like "Good God, come hell or high water these Limeys always have to stop for their #$%&*+ tea!"

Ah, well. My grandmother was not British, and yet she also firmly believed that a hot cup of tea would give immense comfort. Perhaps she was right!

Lorrie

We are still huge tea drinkers here - some tourists think we are more English than the English!

When I saw this book on the list and read several blurbs about it, I ordered it from www.half.com, read it, ordered the second one and read it, also. So I'm just lurking here right now because I mightn't be able to restrain myself from getting ahead of the assigned chapters. I'm enjoying reading all your comments and just wanted to say hello. I'll probably join in on the wrap-up, if not before.

Karen

Hello, Karen!

It's so nice to know that you are one of our followers, lurker or not.Welcome to the discussion! You must have liked the book(s), which is good. Please don't feel that you have to wait until the end before posting; I am sure there are comments you could make about the characters and the plot without giving anything away, but we do thank you for your consideration. Feel free!

Lorrie

Hi,

I couldn't get the first book that you are discussing and am waiting for it to arrive at the library. Had requested the three books and am busy reading 'The Gardens of Covington.' Love the cozy style and close friendship the ladies share. Rather rare today! Thanks for informing me about this author.

Lorrie, you described Grace as a kind of meatloaf person. How Perfect! I think meatloaf is kind of a comfy, snuggly supper; and that’s just how Grace acts. Quite like a Mommy.

The thing I find annoying about Amelia is that she’s so child-like. It’s charming for a child to be childish, but not, in my opinion, for a grown woman. That being said, there are many many people who would find that child-like quality in Amelia to be very attractive. Although it shows up a lot in Amelia's traits of being incompetent, timid, and approval-seeking; the more desirable childlike traits would be her enthusiasm, her trusting nature, her spontaneous sense of adventure & fun and her gratitude & innocence. As I said in an earlier post (I think): Every family needs a child. - JudyW

It occurs to me that this book is a trifle slower-moving than some of the novels we have been reading. Not that it isn't restful, and to me, enjoyable reading, but I do think we can extend the time allowed for chapters a bit more.

With that in mind, I have changed the reading schedule listed in the heading here, and added a chapter or two to each segment. For instance, this first segment will continue on through Chapter 12 now, rather than 10, so we are free to discuss those add-ons now . The dates remain the same. On Thursday of this week we go on to Chapter 13, and then so on. You might want to make a note of this new schedule as a reminder.

I do hope this is satisfactory with everyone. Please let me know if not.

Lorrie

Carolyn, I think of tea as a comfort food. When we were kids, if we'd been sick, especially with a stomach ache, one of the first things we could eat and drink would be tea and toast.

I want my coffee in the morning, but think of tea as a late afternoon drink. One thing I can't figure out. People speak of a "nice" cup of tea, but I never hear anyone say, How about a "nice" cup of coffee.

Lorrie, I like the new schedule.

Help help here. I've been plotting a little redecorating around here. The ladies have closed up their fireplace and installed self-sealed gas logs. Do I have that right? Would this be different than simply a gas burning fireplace? Have any of you had experiences with a fireplace like the new one at Covington? I'm debating making some fireplace changes here.

Pedlin - Arent those the gas fires that have the logs which look like they are real burning logs. My son put that sort of fireplace in a very upmarket home he built as a spec in an exclusive area. It was very attractive. You can get gas fired heat pump systems now. My youngest son has just had that installed in his latest home and its through the whole house. You can choose to heat only part of the house at any one time so you can have the living area heated during the day and turn on the bedroom heating a couple of hours before bedtime.

Carolyn

Perhaps Amelia suffers from anxiety. It would explain some of her traits.

Carolyn

Amelia also may have post-traumatic stress disorder.

Carolyn, and Zinnia:

Yes, that could be. After all, Amelia has gone through a really painful period, and it stands to reason there would be some aftermath.

I am getting nervous about that red truck that seems to be appearing too often. I felt like Hannah, who had a sense of disquiet. Let's hope it isn't bad news!

We now meet Tyler, to whom our hearts surely must go out. Do you feel that this boy will help Grace overcome some of her own feelings of self-worth, and also be a comfort to the boy?

At one time I volunteered to assist some teachers, as a "Study Buddy." We mostly read to the children, and then had them read to us, and the teachers all agreed that it seemed to help the children's reading ability. I know it sure helped me, I enjoyed doing it so much.

Lorrie

My book has been returned but I loved this story so much and the characters, I'm certain there will be plenty for me to "ratle on" about. I agree with Zinnia in re. to post traumatic stress for Amelia. Tthe horrors of losing a 9 year old to an intestinal disease while you are in a foreign country is bad enough. She then lost her husband (was it to a hit man?) and further suffered the agony of being burned. That's sure enough to qualify a mental disorder and emotional instability, in my book. She repressed her pain and became very "self involved" and self indulgent. I can understand that. I have a granddaughter named Amelia and pray that nothing as horrible will ever befall her in life. She is an absolute joy.

I can also relate to Grace (another granddaughter's name, who just happened to be born on my 55th birthday.) Hmm-mm-, no wonder I love these ladies, huh? She shows such a range of emotions. I dare not speak too much about Grace as I do not have my book and question how far I can discuss this character's development throughout the story.

Hannah, the strong, courageous wife who rose above her marriage to an alcoholic and raised two daughters alone. I can relate to that as I raised my 3 kids alone for 11 tough, frightening years. Wasn't poor Hannah the one who always "expected" to be disappointed in life? That saddens me when I think of the bitter pills so many women have had to swallow. I'm a believer that no one is exempt totally, we all have our calamities to experience in life, as these gals did. How very fortunate for them to have found each other and form such a wonderful symbiotic relationship, mutually acceptable to all.

Oh, Hello, Alf!

Speaking of girls' names, have you noticed the trends now of naming little girls "old fashined" names, like your grandaughters Amelia and Grace, Alf? Personally, I love it! There was a time when it seemed like young mothers were all naming their babies Linda, Debby, Cyndy, Shelley, and Wendy, or somesuch...............I liked it when the Sarahs, the Marthas, the Hannahs, and yes, even the Marys started coming along.

Lorrie

I also have a grandaughter Grace turned 3 yesterday. My Grace is diminutive (still wears one year old clothing) and is very feminine. She already shows great housewifely skills! Her full name is Grace Lily Marie Charteris. Is there something in a name?

Carolyn

I was on jury duty today so I took my palm pilot and read a few chapters of the ladies while I waited, man thats boring. I was interested in all the paraphernalia they send home with a person after hip surgery. My Mother has had two hips replaced and we have such a load of equipment. Of course as fast as we cal haul it in she pitches it out and so the story goes.

Do you feel that Hannah was being intrusive when she asked Amelia about her daughter Caroline? That rainy day, as they sat on the porch watching the flow of water come down, seemed like an appropriate time and place to talk about private things.

Judging from her response, I feel that Amelia was ready to start dreging up memories. Her outburst when talking about God seems like a cathartic one, somehow.

Lorrie

Strangely enough I got annoyed because no one would talk about Rod, he was only 49 when he died and it was painful but it was more painful to feel that everyone denied his existence, that he had ever been here. I think often people who are bereaved do want to talk about their loved one even if you cry while you do it. Its others who feel uncomfortable not the bereaved person. Its very healing to talk and cry if necessary. It would have been very good for Amelia to talk about Caroline I think.

Carolyn

Having lost two husbands and a child, I completely agree. That's one of the things I do — when I'm talking to someone who has had a loss, I gently encourage him or her to talk. Quite often, it's on the telephone so that they don't feel as embarrassed if they cry. I also try to remember those friends on the anniversaries and birthdays and death anniversaries, etc., because I know those times are hard. So from my standpoint, I don't think Hannah was being intrusive, I liked the fact that she was giving Amelia "permission" to let her hair down. Keeping all that pain in so long might also account for some of Amelia's idiosyncracies.

I do think that Hannah is initially portrayed as a rather jack-booted, intrusive, insensitive kind of person and I was rather put off by that.

Hi, Horselover:

Are you still in California? How's it going there?

When we talk about how some of us are reluctant to speak of death or dying to a bereaved one, the same also applies to people who are terminal, who know their time is very limited.

When my SIL was dying with cancer, everyone sort of skirted around the subject, and one day when she and i were alone, i asked her outright, "Do you want to talk about it?" and the relief that came over her face was apparent. I asked her if she had had a talk with her husband, and she told me only briefly, and she then proceeded to spend the next hour talking about what she wanted for her children, what messaages she wanted to leave, and all kinds of things that just poured out. When my BIL came home, I told him what had happened, and that she was ready to talk about dying, and from then on they spoke without fear.

I believe that when people know they are going to die that they want to face it, and not treat it as though it were an unmentionable act. Isn't that what they do in a hospice?

Lorrie

My husband talked openly. He had time to tell his children how much he loved them and also to tell friends and close family how much they had meant to him. We all cried together and one of my precious memories is he my youngest son with his arms tight round my husband and both of these big men crying without reserve. Rod told me exactly what to do with his funeral and also discussed it with our Pastor and he had a burglar alarm installed for me and other things I needed. He told me he was worried about me how I would cope. I remember his last Christmas day and we came home from my sisters we spent the day with our extended families and he wept for ages. He said that it was going to be so hard to leave so many people that he loved so much. I was very lucky I think that he was able to show his feelings and to be so open with us.

Carolyn

I finished another book last night and this was in the epilogue. It made me think of the Ladies of Cov....

" When women bond together in a community in such a way that "sisterhood" is created, it gives them an accepting and intimate forum to tell their stories and have them heard and validated by others. The community not only helps heal theri circumstance, but encourages them to grow into theri larger destiny." --- Sue Monk Kidd

Well said, Alf! That really does apply here, doesn't it?

Lorrie

What are your impressions of the boy Tyler Richardson?

I can remember one sermon where our pastor said that every woman needs a soul sister. Another woman friend who can listen and also be supportive and that the relationship should be reciprocal. He also said that women used to sew and preserve together in times gone by and these times were when women confided their fears and worries to each other and did give each other support. He said our life now is not set up to give us this support so he would like to encourage each one of us to find that soul sister or a group of sisters. I think this young man was very wise.

Carolyn

Since I still do not have the 1st book and am reading the second, possibly should only lurk?

Still, want to mention that I agree with Kiwi lady. Have been alone for many years now the kids are grown. Five years ago, met a nice fellow who also is a Christian. We have had a platonic relationship, but he has truly been a soul mate. Cancer is now ending this and little time is left. But we have spoken openly about the problem, deal with it as roles become reversed, and I have seen the most wonderful outpouring of love from his Children & Grandkids. Have never had such a truly close friendship with another woman and certainly not with my former husband. We have shared our thoughts and cares and solved family problems together. Given moral support and shared laughter. So perhaps women should simply try to be friends with a man. Works for me!

Lizzzy1:

Which book are you reading? Is it still about these same three ladies?

Lorrie

Hi Lorrie,

Yes it is about the same ladies. There are three books so far. I am reading the 2nd, 'The Gardens of Covington' and it continues their adventures. Also have 'From The Heart of Covington' to read. This seems to be a popular series, since the library passed the first one to someone else when it came in...Oh well, won't need to read it now as you folks are filling in the missing parts!

Liz

Okay, all you lovely readers, we are now passing into the next few chapters. Today we start Chapters 13, and I wanted to ask, Do you think Amelia's interest in photography will be of therapeutic value to her?

I think it is great how each one has settled into the niche that she evidently believes is her forte. Hannah with her gardening, Grace with her cooking, and now Amelia with her photography. I wondered how these women would figure out what to do with their time.

Another thing i wondered, although it may not apply here. When we were living in the country up in Northern Wisconsin, we were often snowbound during those severe winters, and believe me, if you don't think cabin fever will set in, after being confined within four walls and no apparent relief, you are mistaken. I used to joke to my sister that each spring I would say, "Well, we made another winter without killing each other!" Hahaha

I don't think our ladies will have that severe weather problems.

Lorrie

Yes, I think Amelia was greatly helped by her photography hobby. As I said before, not to give away anything, it will be extremely important in her life.

I agree that cabin fever is usually not a problem in North Carolina, except for very short periods of time. We lived there almost l8 years, and we were able to get out with the exception of the Big Blizzard of 1993 which paralyzed much of the eastern part of the U.S. I am sure the resourceful Covington ladies would have done well!

I was glad to see they bonded quickly with most of their neighbors. I should not have been surprised, as we had the same experience during our time there, and especially after we found a church there.

Marilyn

Hi, marilyn:

Yes, I was also interested in the enthusiasm that Amelia showed in her new "hobby." I even got interested when, following what her instructor had told her, Amelia made a 12 foot circumference from where she was standing, and yes, she found several things that would make good photo subjects!

Lorrie

I think the photography will do a lot for Amelia. Do you think that perhaps she lived much in Thomas' shadow, or rather, did not do much on her own and did not try to do things just for her? Learning to do something well, that you enjoy, does wonders for self esteem.

Liz, you must read the first book as there is so much in it that you will enjoy.

I second O'Sharny's motion... and there is also a lot of background and foundation that you will miss, and some of it is pivotal to events in the second book and no doubt the third.

Okay, thanks ladies. Meanwhile, will keep tracking their adventures on this site. Think this person is becoming addicted....

Liz

I wasn't really surprised when Amelia found her forte through the art world. She has the aesthetic, cultivated personality and I visualize her as fine and graceful, don't you? Remember- she had seen Maria Callas @ La Scala? She's a passionate woman and self absorbed with herown problems. That fits the creative artist.

Yes, Alf, that does seem to fit her temperament, doesn't it?

Still, I still seem to get impatient with her. For instance, I'm at the point where Amelia gets lost in the woods, and being the ex Girl Scout that I am, it irritated me to read where she simply gave up and lay down in the leaves. No attempt at all to find any indicators of where she was, no attempts to find something to try to start a fire with, she just seems so "spiritless" somehow.

Lorrie

Lorrie, yes, I think your description of Amelia as "spiritless" is apt. But I think she'll come around. Loved it when she brought out the white nightgown to photograph with the hat.

I'm getting both proud and peeved with Grace. For a first-time flyer I think she did admirably well -- getting herself to the airport, picking up a ticket, changing planes, etc. (Old time flyer me gets so nervous about sticking in my credit card and punching out my own boarding pass.)

But Grace's actions regarding Bob Richardson are just to much. What - one, two so-called dates, and she thinks she owns the guy. She thinks she loves him. She never even met him until the end of June and before the end of July she's worried that he might have known Amelia thirty years earlier. I'm amazed Bob's putting up with such possessiveness.

I sure do agree with your comments about Grace/Bob. Her immaturity in that regard sure didn't seem to fit her overall personality as portrayed this far. I can't recall how much of it is covered in those chapters, but it was really a jarring note and quite out of character for her to act like a petulant and possessive child. But this author seems to have a penchant for sudden changes in personality, or sudden side trips into other personalities.

Let us not too hard on Amelia. She's a frightened woman, annoyed wtih Hannah's optimism and Grace's cheerfullness. She is a woman that does NOT wish to air her dirty laundry in public.

You know-- be seen and not heard--- I remember that! DO NOT BETRAY YOURSELF!!!!

She ruminates on dying and is fearful. We need to help her thru these criscies. (Dont' we?)

Ah, that's our Nurse Ratchett being heard from! Well, perhaps we are a bit premature in our impatience with Amelia. We shall see what happens. That's what is nice about this book. The characters are not cardboard, they seem to be able to step out of their mold. Things change, that's what makes the book so interesting.

Lorrie

Yes Alf my mother never talks about how she feels and worries all the time about what the neighbours think. There are family secrets which she thinks we don't know about and which she has never discussed with us. My sister and I and my kids decided we would have no family secrets and so far we have been open with each other.

Kiwi, I think that is wonderful. When my eldest cousin died last year, all of our family secrets went with her. Every now and then her younger sister (my age) and I would convince her to give up a good story. That is the only way that we ever found out anything about the "skeletons" in our closet. My mother would NEVER discuss anything such as that with me. It's a shame, isn't it and I'm happy to say that todays generation is much more open about these secretive "no-nos." In fact, sometimes when my daughters tell me things, I just kind of cringe and say, "good grief, I'm your mother, don't you have a best friend to tell this to?" I AM their best friend, it seems.

Amelia and the Ladies grow in strength of character and stature right in front of one another. They are now like the branches of a good strong tree. They emerge with new sprouts and ideas and assist one another in the strenghtening process. "A good friend knows you and your faults, yet loves you in spite of that."

At Tyler' birthday party, Grace becomes jealous, (yes, let's face it, jealous) of Amelia when it turns out Amelia had known Bob before. Do you think Grace over-reacted by showing her displeasure, or should she have kept an impassive mien and then had a discussion later with Bob, or even Amelia? How would you have acted under the same circumstances?

Lorrie

I am having a great deal of trouble catching up here with my reading. I fell behind a few days ago, but am slowly catching up with you all now. It's an engrossing storyk isn't it?

Lorrie

I thought Amelia was insufferably rude to take Bob away, and even moreso to take him away when she knew that Grace had a burgeoning romance with him.

But I also thought, as was discussed before, that Grace's reaction was somewhat overblown and possessive, given that they had only been seeing one another for a short time and had no commitment. I think she might have waited for an explanation instead of blowing up, and Bob DID try.

I probably would have had the same reaction as Grace, even on short acquaintance, if I'm being honest. I think that because I think any of us might have hopes, even on short acquaintance. To have another woman just swoop in and grab him would be painful, and doubly painful if it were a friend and roommate who could be expected to know of the association, as a stranger might not. To have him be a wimp and go along with it would add to the hurt. But I think I would have waited for an explanation.

Frankly, though, I think the worst rudeness of all was for Amelia to take Bob away from his grandson's birthday party and monopolize his time and I wonder why he couldn't just excuse himself on those grounds and get back to the party. He could knock her down to get away if necessary, LOLOL!! I would really be wondering if I wanted to continue a relationship with a man with so little spine and so little consideration for the people he supposedly cares about.

Zinnia, I tend to agree with what you say about Amelia. To me that was a bit selfish, and yet did she actually know that Grace was that interested in Bob? I don't remember Grace letting them know how she felt---Hannah guessed, when she saw her blushing, but Grace hadn't yet really confided her feelings to the other two.

I had a true(?) friend do that to me one time. She usurped a boy friend I had, a lot like Amelia did, and the boy friend was too polite to pull away. With me, though, what bothered me the most was the embarrassment I felt with everyone staring at what was going on. Funny, that was over 60 years ago and I can still feel the anger at my former "friend". At that time I did a stupid thing---I blamed my boy friend and made a big scene with him later.

Ah, the wisdom we gather to us as the years go by!

Lorrie

Wel, she did know Grace was dating him, and she also knew it was his grandson's birthday party.

I sure know what you mean, though. I also remember one of my closest friends grabbing my boyfriend on New Year's Eve and he stayed with her and they were the ones kissing at midnight. I was too immature at the time to realize that she did me a huge favor. Who wants a guy who will do that?

I didn't make a scene, I just cried in the bathroom for a while and then I went home. That New Year's Eve sticks in my mind after all these years. And yes, the embarrassment of having everyone else observe this happening sure added to the hurt.

Remember that Grace had disappointment instilled in her from childhood. Men were critical in her upbringing as well as her marriage to Ted (who deceived her.) Her father was a brutish inflexible man and Grace married young, pretended to enjoy sex and went without when her husband became ill. Here's Bob now-- all of a sudden she's experiencing these emotions that most young girls feel and up pops Amelia to put the fire out. Grace has little self confidence and unused to success. She probably didn't feel like she was on strong footing here with self-centered Amelia whisking away her beau.

Yes, Alf, and the irony of it all is that spending that time with her former friend and discovering how fond he was of Grace, only made Amelia feel that much more alone and insecure.

All the events in the days following that birthday party were a series of things left unsaid, explanations offered, misconceptions corrected, a real grab bag of missed opportunities. Hannah gets a call from the hospital about her grandsons, Amelia goes off for a two-day photo jaunt, and Grace gets an invitation to leave immediately for a visit with her son and friend. Everyone going off somewhere instead of sitting down and straightening out their greivances.

What do you think of Robert? All I can say is WOW! He sounds like an ideal catch, and anytime Grace decides she doesn't want him she can just point him in this direction. He seems to be a caring, thoughtful individual. Of course Grace doesn't know all that much about him, and I have a feeling she is going to learn more. I can't wait until the time that she discovers he has intemittent arthritis, ongoing constipation, falling hair, potential cataracts, and some kind of prostrate trouble! Oh, boy!

Lorrie

hahahahahahahahahaha... that's okay, I'll take him, as long as he doesn't find out about meeeeeeeee... LOLOL!!!

And thanks for a great laugh!

Poor Hannah. She's having to go through a lot on her own. Okay, Grace was there when she first found out about the boys, and went to the hospital with her. But now Hannah has to deal with her daughter about sending the boys back to Branston. Amelia is off on a workshop, has no idea what happened. Grace knows what Hannah is going through, but she leaves anyway, merely leaving a note to explain her absence. I think that knowing Hannah's dilemma, she could have put Roger off a day or two, explaining the crisis in Covington.

It seems we have a lot of different opinions about Grace/Bob/Amelia. Amelia was acting her usual self -- here was someone from her past, who let her talk about her past. I don't think it even entered her self-centered mind that she might be hurting Grace. And Grace had a chance to clear the air with Bob when he returned and offered to help. Instead she put on a huffy, poor little me act.

Lorrie, you are too much. He probably snores too.

How could I have forgotten snoring?

I tell you true, I was puzzled by Hannah's reaction to the episode with the grandsons. Sure, they were drinking, and crashed the new car up, but at least they weren't killed or didn't kill anyone else! I can't understand why Hannah was in such a rush to get rid of them. And they were still pretty banged up---she sure didn't waste any time making her daughter come all the way there and bring them home in a plane.

Horselover says they are all seeking companionship, and this makes sense, thay were certainly lonely, each in her own way, at Olive's place, before they all got together.

Pedln, Of the three, which one do you like the most?
How about you, Horselover, did I ask you that already?

Lorrie

Lorrie, regarding Hannah and the boys. I think she was scared to death that something more would happen if they stayed. Probably the smart thing to have done would be to keep them a few more days to recoup, but insist Miranda be there also. Hannah doesn't know these boys and Sammy's drinking and smashing the car really rocked her. I think she just overreacted, which we all do now and then.

It's hard to say which one I like the best or dislike the most. They all have both positive and negative traits. Who would I choose to hang out with -- Hannah and I have more similar backgrounds as we both raised kids pretty much on our own, but while I love other people's gardens, I don't want to work in mine. Grace loves to read and meander in bookstores, as all of us here do. She and I have little else in common, but overall she's a pretty sensible person, and would no doubt be a good friend. Right at this point I would not actively seek out someone like Amelia to be with.

I agreed with Hannah on her decision to send the boys home. They broke the law - they had an accident - she has had enough stress in her life without taking on any more. It was not her job as a grandmother to cope with this situation. The boys should have be sent home to face the music from their parents. Too often today children are not held to be responsible for their actions - its always someone elses fault! I believe in children taking responsiblity for their actions from quite a young age. To encourage this ethic will set children up to cope with life in the real world and cause a lot less heartbreak for society in general. In other words - you break the rules and there are consequences. One of the consequences was that they had to go home early from their holiday. I say Good for Hannah!

I think I would be very comfortable with Hannah - shes not a dolly bird - she's wise, plain speaking and very practical my kind of friend. What you see is what you get! My motto!

Carolyn

I also like the way these three share the welcome mat for guests. In so many cases where people share a house or apartment, there is always a certain resentment felt by some if one of the sharers invites guests to stay. This is not the case here, the ladies seem to be delighted in having people come to stay.

Many years back when a friend of mine and I shared a two-bedroom apartment, we had a real falling-out which almost ruined a perfectly good friendship for good. My friend's three sisters made a habit of coming to stay with us two or three days at a time, and would use the couch plus they brought sleeping bags. It was crowded and inconvenient, and it disrupted my schedule and routine very much. I don't think I would have objected so much if the three girls had offered to bring home a few groceries, or if they had not left a mess each time. I finally had to become very emphatic with my friend, who was angry with me at first, but eventually came to see my point of view. She finally told them to stop using us as an hotel stop, and to get a motel next time they came.

In Medlicott's book, we will never see any day-to-day bickering over mundane things, as does happen in real life, but what the heck, this is escapism, isn't it?

Lorrie

What did you think of the cottage that Charles and Roger had found?

When I read about that gorgeous garden, I was impressed by the author's knowledge of gardening, but then when i read Ms. Medlicott's biography I discovered she had several degrees in horticulture, and actually specialized in tropical horticulture, so I was not too surprised.

By the way, does anyone see any more mention of that red truck? I don't like to read too far ahead, but I also have the feeling that we will be hearing more about the man who knocked Hannah out of her chair at the fireworks display, what was his name, Wayne Reynolds?

Lorrie

Yes, Lorrie, the red truck is acomin'. Don't know when according to your time schedule, but it is in the story for a reason.

Ruth my friend from when I was 11yrs old came back to Auckland after a broken relationship and she is now the tenant in my studio which is just behind my house. Even though we live on the same property we give each other the same privacy as we would any other neighbour. We eat dinner quite often together taking turns in cooking and I did her laundry today as she is working 7 days for the next two weeks. We often go shares in big packs of fruit etc and we share garden expenses. We have mostly pots in which we grow flowers and vegetables. My dogs regularly visit her too so she does not need a pet which is good as she is working. I find an arrangement where we have our own self contained living arrangements is best. We do not abuse each others hospitality and so far in two year we have not had any friction between us. The picnic table is right outside her ranchslider doors so she often makes us a capuccino on weekends. My kids call the picnic table "Ruths cafe" as she does make a very nice coffee. We sit outside in my very private yard most weekend mornings for breakfast and coffee. Its a very good arrangement we have.

Thank you for not giving it away, Shirley! You're a brick!

Carolyn:

Now that's what I would call a very desirable arrangement! You both respect one another's privacy, and yet you both are there if needed, and can share the companionship. I see a long-lasting relationship there.

Lorrie

Hannah seems to be always very much in control, and probably feels she has to be because of earlier experiences. I felt like she felt incompetent and that it all had happened because of her inability to connect with her grandsons, just as she felt she had failed to connect with her daughters. I think it brought up too much pain and she felt she was out of control and had to get away from it, it "it" away from her.

Horselover, we are at the end of Chapter 25, where Hannah has returned home to a dark house and finds Bob waiting on the porch. Grace has already arrived in Philadelphia, and is staying with Roger and Charles in their new cottage. I think the conversation you are referring to transpires in our next segment.

You asked," Do people actually decide to get married so quickly at this age? I would think that experience and wisdom which come with time would advise against rushing into such decisions."

I live amongst older women, in their late sixties, seventies, most of them widowed, a couple of them divorced They talk about remarriage a lot, and the feelings are varied. There are at least two women I know of here who would really love to remarry, the sooner the better, and one of them I'm sure would almost break a leg getting to the Justice of the Peace in a hurry. I think it all depends on how most of them felt about their own marriages, per se. Most of us treasure our independence now, and would be unwilling to give that up and adjust to another's way of life again. And some of them are like Grace, who "couldn't cope without a man" as she once told her son.

Zinnia:

That's a fair assessment of Hannah's motives. I agree that her past experiences with her husband, etc. had a lot to do with her attitude. I would like to see a relationship furthered there with her grandsons. She had a good start with Phillip, I think

Lorrie

I feel I must be so careful as I have read all three of the "Ladies" books and don't want to give anything away if I comment. But some of your opinions on Hannah's reaction to the boys really rang my bell. I could not understand Hannah's URGENCEY in shipping the boys back to their mother! Could You? What a perfect oportunity she missed to bond and influence those grandchildren. Instead it was like, I don't need this problem, on your way! I thought it was so out of character for someone whom has dealt with the many personal problems life had thrown her way.

I love all of the ladies but must admit Amelia's needyness* ( as that a word?) makes me uncomfortable.

Marge

Hi, I'm back....Finally got the book today and will be able to understand what you all are talking about...I am still reading 'From the Heart of Covington', so life may get a bit confusing. So far, have determined that I don't like Olive.

Liz.

Marge, if we know what it means, it's a word. Yeah, her "needyness" bothers me too.

Loved reading about C and R's cottage, but for the life of me cannot figure out how they got so much done in the few months they have owned it. The whole front yard is a garden?

Carolyn, your arrangement with your friend sounds perfect. You are both fortunate.

All this talk about Grace/Bob, SeniorLove, etc. brings about some deja vu. When I was much younger, recently divorced, and living in Puerto Rico, an older widow from New York moved down. Holly Cantus. I mention her name only because she published a book -- Helpful Hints or Household Hints -- and I "googled" her today and her books are on an Amazon auction. Anyway, Holly was one of those delightful persons who could walk into a party no knowing anyone, and by the end of the evening she would have talked to everyone and invited at least half of them to breakfast. She and some other single ladies were over for dinner one night, my mother was down from the States, and the talk turned to the subject of remarriage. Holly spoke up, "Well, the most practical thing to do would be to have an affair!" Wow! This was early 1970's and really shocked the rest of us. "'Course, I could never do that," she said. I've often wondered whatever happened to her.

neediness
noun
the state of being needy; poverty

I honestly think that people remarry often for the wrong reasons. One should not marry because one is needy. I have seen some real disasters amongst my mothers friends because they married because they could not live alone and rushed into a relationship on that premise. I miss my husband very much and I was a young widow but I have never wanted to remarry. Frankly there are not many men about who I could talk to like I could my husband. He could talk about feelings etc. He actually liked talking to women rather than men although he was certainly a real bloke in all his interests. He was the sort of person that after meeting him for the first time men and women poured out all their worries to. Sometimes he had to carry a heavy load. There are not many men in my age group like him.

Camper: Perhaps Hannah was a bit weary of being everybody's caretaker.  Perhaps, she thought  "What about me, it's my time now!"
She was perpetually concerned that someone would be angry with her and she had tended long enough to others; including her husband , the alcoholic and Miranda, whom she sold her nursery for.  For a woman who always expected disappointment, she sure found it often enough.  She was fearful of repurcussions, I would say and wasn't thinking about missed opportunity of bonding.

I remember feeling for a long while, after my threee kids were raised-- enough already, I am done and please don't bother me.  It was totally selfish but I admit to this narrow emotion.  I was tired of raising kids alone, worrying myself frantic and having to be responsible!  I had sworn to the good Lord that if he'd see us safely through these harrowing years, I would gladly give myself over to him, without a fight.  (As if I would have had the choice, huh?)
I understand Hannah's emotions.  Ok, boys, get out, this is more than I can handle, she thought and urgently phoned her daughter to come get the boys.

As far as remarrying--- well I took an oath, to myself in 1970, that I'd rather shove a sharp stick into my eyeballs than ever do that again.  It only took me 14 yrs. to change my mind and in 1984, I took back my vow to our good Lord and begged for a few more good years with Bill.  I believe the threads were always there, I just wasn't ready to spin them at that time.
My Bill is a gem and feel very blessed that I found him.  He loves & enjoys the company of women, loves to listen to gossip (would never spread it, though) and has the heart and soul of a saint.  He's the type of guy that would say, "Hey let's stop over and visit the Ladies of Covington while we're out and take them some ice cream." Trust me, if anything happened to him I NEVER would marry again.  I am too damned spoiled!

Hi Lorrie I am really enjoying following these great posts. It seems no one has my take on the Bob Grace thing. If he was as uncomfortable spending nearly the whole party off with Amelia why didn't he just say thanks for the tour but I must get back to the party?? This would have saved bad feelings all around if he had a back bone.

Hi, Judy: Maybe Bob was just exceptionally polite. Hahahaha

Alf: I thought your post was very revealing, and very touching!

Camper2: It is sad to see that missed opportunity that Hannah had to really get to know her grandsons, isn't it?

Lizzy1; Welcome back, and with the book. Yes, we all agree that we certainly didn't like Olive. Glad you will be able to read along.

Tomorrow we go on to the next segment, Chapters 26 through 34. I am anxious to see what happens to Grace and Bob. Right now I wouldn't take bets on any marriage happening right away, at least!

Your posts have been really great. I am so glad you all decided to join in this group!

Lorrie

Zinnia. Thanks for the spelling correction. Another Webster definition: to be in want; to require. Amelia?

Kiwi: You were so lucky to have such a good relationship with your husband! But I have talked to many at this stage in our life who have lost there spouses. Many discovered, after their period of mourning, that being alone was not a bad thing. They discovered a whole new person...SELF. And it was not a bad thing.

alf: Could it be that because of Hannah's neutral relationship with her own daughter, she perhaps did not feel qualified to deal with a the situation the boys found themselves in?

Yes, camper, I believe that did play a part in it. What did she get when the daughter came to fetch the boys? Scorn and anger from her daughter.

I guess I can't really blame Hannah for shipping the boys back home to their mother; they weren't terribly responsive to Hannah's rather limited "hospitality" efforts from Day One. I think I would have worked much harder at the relationships if I were in Hannah's situation, but each to her own. As for Amelia wandering off into the woods and getting lost: I can most certainly blame her for causing such worry and trouble for everyone. She seems to be play acting most of the time, this time maybe in Little Red Riding Hood or something equally juvenile. - JudyW

Somehow i had the feeling that we would be learning about Charles' illness soon, and I sort of figured it would be something like HIV Positive. Poor Charles, he handles it so well, and shows immense courage.

I think this particlar scene where Grace is informed of Charles' condition, and the way it has brought them all very close is quite touching. And if nothing else, this has finally enabled Roger and his mother to have the kind of conversation that they should have had years ago. When Grace leaves them to come back home, it's with a feeling of compassion and love----in my opinion, the way this author has handled the whole subject of homosexuality is open and above board, and is commendable.

Lorrie

In Amelia's defense re. being lost in the woods, the first piece of advice we are given is STAY PUT. Remember "hug a tree"??? Unless you really have an idea how to find you way, it's the best piece of advice you could follow.

Well, yes Zinnia – that’s right, about staying put. The immature part was that Amelia was irresponsible in wandering off into the woods alone in the first place.

Lorrie, I agree that the author handled the Roger/Charles situation very well. Charles is one of my favorite characters in the book. My other favorite is Old Man. Wait, have we gotten to Old Man yet? - JudyW.

WOW! Lots of stuff happening here. In the hardware store, Hannah trips over the legs of the guy who knocked her off her chair at the fireworks (is ther something symbolic there?) He turns out to be really quite helpful, then and even later.

We now know wno the people in the red truck are. The Madisons are going to be a couple we will be hearing more about and of course we have all decided they're the enemy, haven't we?

JudyW:

So now we know about The Old Man! When I read about him, why do I keep getting this mental picture of Pa Kettle?

Lorrie

Is anyone else getting a little tired of Amelia? She goes to pieces when Hannah has a brush fire after raking leaves, but it was Hannah who almost got burnt. I know, I know, she was in a terrible accident, but she is not the only onw who has suffered.

Lorrie

Horselover:

I do think that the change we are seeing in Roger is the most remarkable of any of the "transformations" described about the other characters in the book. He seems to have done a complete turn around from the dictatorial, inconsiderate Roger that we first met.

I enjoyed reading about Hannah's attempts to keep an apple orchard going. She worked so hard. Whenever i read of someone's efforts like that, I always hope that the end result is optimistic, and in this case it does seem to look good. And her efforts in the nursery that she is trying for are commendable.

Lorrie

One of the things that bothers me about this author is those abrupt changes of personality that she gives to various characters. She doesn't seem to be able to really set the stage or work gently into changes in some cases. It seems like she starts out having adversarial relationships for lots of people, doesn't like that, makes the characters have sudden and complete changes and then goes on to someone else.

Zinnia:

Yes, it is rather abrupt, wouldn't you say? Nothing gradual about the personality changes, especially in the relationships between Hannah and her daughter, and Grace and Roger.

I am just a little amused at the way the author sort of skirts around the subject of sex, like a giggling schoolgirl at an all-girls party. But the most surprising thing, to me, is that Grace is the one who finds romance. I would think that Amelia would be more likely, considering that she is supposedly "the fairest of them all." But apparently this is not at all what attracts Bob.

Lorrie

Horselover,

I have known one or two Amelia's in my day and have this observation. Even though they are a PAIN because they needs so much; i.e. help, attention, reassurance, catering to, etc. etc. etc.... They generally GET IT! Whereas the Graces of this world are usually putting the band aids on everyone else's hurts, AND the Hannahs are trying to right the world all by themselves. Definite perks in being an Amelia! What do you think? Want to be an Amelia for a day!? Now that I think about it is starting to look pretty good!

Marge

Horselover and Camper, I think your assessments of the three ladies are right on target -- Grace the caregiver, Hannah trying to do it all, and Amelia being so needy and helpless. And yet Amelia really works hard at her photography and is surprisingly good at it. She has a "good eye?"

The issue of finding Arthur's letters is beginning to sound more and more like typical Amelia -- a bit of a space queen, too? Most of us would be tearing the place apart, going through everythng as soon as possible. Yet she is content to do a box here, a box there, but doesn't seem to make it high priority.

Camper, I think I would not mind being an Amelia, the way you put it. It does seem like everything seems to come to her, doesn't it?

I've been thinking a lot about the circumstances of how these women got together, and I am really impressed at the way they have combined both companionship and independence. Have you noticed how, as time goes by, that the bond that holds them together gets even stronger?

There are many of us in our apartment building who would give their eye teeth to live under the same conditions of these three, but know it will never happen. As we get our periodic rent increases, we often joke among ourselves about buying a house and sharing it with four people, but in real life that would never work out. In real life, we would be unable to cope with the proximity of our housemates, and would wind up carping at each other and fighting over who gets to use one of the bathrooms first. But that's reality, and we are dealing here with make-believe. What a nice thought, though!

Lorrie

I think you could share a house if you could buy one with either bedrooms big enough to have a sofa TV etc in or say 6 beds where each person could have their own den to go to when they want to have solitude. A kitchen and bathroom roster is easily organised as most people never get up at the same time or go to bed at exactly the same time. Dinners and lunches could be a shared meal with a roster for cooking. Much like sharing as a young single. I think the den is important to keep the peace! Everyone does not like the same music or TV programs most times.

Carolyn

Zinnia, I totally agree with your observation about the abrupt personality changes, it’s quite disconcerting. It’s nice that the author seems to be telling the readers that people can and do change, but realistically, there should be some solid reason or at least a demonstration of effort involved. Maybe on the last page, dear Olive from the boarding house will move in, having undergone a miraculous personality transformation.

Lorrie, you mentioned some of the people in your apartment house joking about moving in together like the ladies. And Kiwi, you thought that under certain circumstance it might work out. I think maybe it could be done in a rental house rather than a jointly owned one. The right people would need to agree on what their living standards and "family" structure and financial arrangements would be. Renting might work, but owning shared property is a whole different story, and I’d never recommend that at all.

I so admire the relationship these ladies have and am totally impressed how the diversity of their personalities seem to not only balance but compliment each other. However, for Me to contemplate that sort of arrangement for MYSELF? It has NO appeal no matter how fond I might be of my future roomies! Wouldn't it be a continuation of a considerate, giving, we eat the toast crumbs out of the butter (read Mom here) perosn that many of us have spent our lifetime doing?

Marge

zinnia:

I laughed so at reading your little conjecture, like Olive moving in with the Ladies, having gone a sudden transformation!! Hahaha Your statement about rental housing for communal living is a good one. Not having the responsibility of ownership could be a plus.

One of the very attractive features of this place where I live: we each have a one-bedroom apartment, the size of which is exactly the same, except for the two-bedrooms, but of course how we furnish them is entirely up to the individual. I love the freedom of moving around my apartment at will, dressed however I please, fixing my meals to please me only, and the choice of whatever TV program I wish to see, or not. If I want to talk to someone, I can go down to the Community room where there is usually coffee and tea, and find any company I wish. And I can leave whenever I want! The only times I get actually lonely are around Christmas, or Sundays whenever the other ladies usually have family visitors. I really love the independence and would hate to have to lose it.

My one complaint about the book is that the story is so unlikely. Amelia's having a long-lost relative who leaves her his house is a remote possibility, and so very convenient. And the smooth transition from a run-down, neglected homesite to the sleek. transformed home seemed to go so effortlessly, without any hassles from the contractor or workers. Have any of you ever had to deal with work-people on a large-scale remodeling job? Ah, well, the magic of the written word!

Camper:

Eating the crumbs out of the butter?

Lorrie

And don't forget about drinking from the milk carton. I'll never forget how horrified my spouse was to see a house guest drinking from the orange juice container, when of course he and the kids did it all the time -- when Mom wasn't looking. And then there were the friends who put water in the gin bottles -- because they were frosted and wouldn't slip like smooth glass -- and drank from same directly. It's all okay as long as you don't waste the butter. LOL, Camper

Lorrie, your apartment setup sounds very nice, especially the independence and having your own space and fixing your own meals. We have a church affiliated retirement condo here, but it's a buy-in, and a pretty hefty mandatory meal fee.

I agree with those of you who think this is a bit unrealistic -- getting the house so easily and quickly renovating it. As for whether I would want to live that way, probably not, though I did actually grow up in a two-family situation. My mother was widowed when my brother and I were 14 and 8 respectively. Mom's younger sister and husband had no children and were moving to a new town. We all joined together -- my mother paid half and they paid half. After five years of renting they bought a house together. It was like having two moms. My mother taught, my aunt kept house. After my uncle died they continued to live together until my mother died at age 78. What amazes me is that so many people thought it unbelievable that two sisters could live together for so long.Throughout the 30 some years they lived together they had separate friends and joint friends, travelled together and travelled separately. They were all do-it-your-selfers, but never until they had made a batch of fudge to keep them going. I never heard them argue.

What a wonderful tale about how you were "brung up," Pedln! it would seem to me, with a situation where you had two mothers, that actually you had the best of two worlds, and the relationship sounds idyllic.

Lorrie

One of the rules about living independently here is that, if you become unable to cook your own meals, and they are forced to turn off the electricity to your stove so that you won't burn yourself, then you will have to move to an assisted living building which is much more expensive. None of us cook a great deal, not like we did years back, and many of the tenants have Meals On Wheels, and then use their microwaves usually for in-between meals. That's why our pot-lucks are so well attended, and why we all love to kick in the money and order Kentucky Fried chicken every so often. For those of us who don't drive any more there is a "milk man" who delivers milk, eggs, some frozen dinners, bread, sweet rolls, donuts, and occasionally bunches of bananas. A real godsend in very bad weather. Anything to keep that independence. I never realized how important that was.

Lorrie

I agree that the house remodeling was rather unrealistic. From living in the south l8 years, our experience with contractors and repair people wasn't much like theirs!

Although everyone we had contact with was very nice, they definitely worked at their own pace. Fortunately my husband was able to do much of the needed work himself. One problem we ran into was finding people who were insured or bonded.

A neighbor just recently hired an electrician who said he was licensed by the city, and when it was checked out, he wasn't! In fact, the city was in process of investigating him for previous bad work he had done.

It may be the same in the north by now - it seems good service has gone downhill.

Yes, the books are for good light reading, just not too realistic at times.

Marilyn

Lorrie,

As a mom, when I made MY toast, I always cleaned and scraped the left over crumbs left in the butter by my other family members. I also skipped dessert if the can of peaches wouldn't divide evenly. A mom thing I'm sure a bunch of us did.

I agree on the fairy tale bit of a long lost relative leaving Amelia a house? Long lost relatives usually leave nothing but bad memories! As far as the transition from an old farm house to a cozy home? Ah, if life were so easy. But hey this is fiction, and I love reading it just because these bumps in the road get all ironed out AND... I don't have to deal with them!

I love the apartment setup you have. Especially having access to company when in the mood but if not, total privacy. Can't get better than that. It seems to me we have earned a few perks in our lifetime and are entitled.

Marge

Ah, Marge, thank you for the explanation of the crumbs in the butter. Yes, I think we all know what you mean about a "mom" thing.

I meant to ask you readers what you thought about Wayne, and the Old Man? I must say these characters of Medlicott are hardly wooden, are they?

Lorrie

I do know a couple of people who were left large sums of money by distant relatives. One family of three siblings got everything from everyone as their parents were the only ones on two sides to marry. They are now very very wealthy seniors. I could not believe the amount of estates these people were entitled to. As for me my father has left all his money to our brother - we girls are disinherited because we told Dad to do something about his alcoholism! He is already off loading onto my brother as much as he can gift in a year! I don't think I have any long lost relatives myself!

Wayne and old man are real characters aren't they?

Carolyn

I think the Wayne and Old Man are the best characters in the book, they're self-sufficient and generous, realistic without being harsh, kind without being push-overs. Their relationship is obviously based on mutual love and mutual respect.

The 3 ladies are changing. They aren't as dramatic about every little thing, and they seem to have become better friends than they were in the beginning. Most important, at first they seemed so stiff and one-dimensional, but now they seem more real, and less cartoon-ish. I like all three of them more now. - JudyS

Ca. trip sounds heavenly! Have never been to the west coast, maybe someday. I could go for that Ritz Carlton spa scene with No trouble at all! Going to Chicago tomorrow to see Debbie Reynolds. As I understand it: she looks like a million, has unbelievable energy, and though I think I hate her...am looking forward to her show.

I like the Norman Rockwell characteriztion in this book. The idyllic lifestyle with low key conflict is refreshing to read. And the author makes me care about her ladies.

Marge

Horselover:

What an apt simile! Norman Rockwell paintings---I love the comparison!

Camper2:

And your weekend trip to see Debbie Reynolds is a great idea. Need cmpany?

Judy W:

You know, I too think there is something very likeable about Wayne and his grandfather. And for that matter, I think we can all safely say that ALL the characters are pretty true to type, considering the environment in which they all live.

We have now reached the last few chapters in our book, and now all restrictions are off as far as mentioning anything that happens from here on. I finished the book the night before last, and I was really pleased with the way things worked out. For a while there I was worried that these lovely women were going to lose their new home.

And surprise, surprise!! Hannah, bless her heart, confesses that at one time she had had a hot and heavy romance with another man, a married man, who later was killed in a boating accident. What made me sympathetic in the telling of this to Grace was the way Hannah explained that she had been unable to attend her lover's funeral because she was not supposed to be known. To me this seemed incredibly sad.

Did Hannah's confession to Grace surprise you?

Lorrie

Judywolfs, your assessment of Wayne and Old Man is so true. And Lorrie, they are likeable, aren't they, and true to type. They're a couple of good guys, small tobacco farmers, kind of laid back, going with the flow and taking what life dishes out without any complaints. I thought it interesting that Old Man was looking at tobacco futures and advising Wayne to get into something else.

I wasn't too surprised at Hannah telling Grace about her previous love affair with a married man. The women had been through a lot in a short time and were becoming very close. I was surprised that Hannah put Dan's ring in the time box, to be buried forever.

And I really don't think that Grace should have told Hannah about her and Bob's intimacy. Some things belong only between two people. And I got the impression that Hannah didn't want her to tell her about it either.

Ah, Horselover, you are way too fast for me! I had noted those questions, in fact we have used several of them, but the others pertained only to material that was finalized at the ending of the story, and I was saving them. However, let's talk about that question and the others that I found most intriguing:

2. If you were Grace, would you have made the decision that she did, not to marry Bob?

6. How would you react if one of your children were gay or lesbian?

7. What in this story saddened you? Inspired you?

Lorrie

Among so many of the widowed women I have for neighbors there is an oft-repeated phrase they all use in describing some men's motives for seeking a female partner in later years: "They're all looking for a nurse or a purse." There's a lot of truth in that. Hahaha

Of course, that doesn't apply to Grace and Bob. I can understand her reasoning. Why does she need marriage? Apparently she has it all, and getting married would only make two other women unhappy. As far as i can see, Grace really couldn't gain all that much more, and there is still always the sort of secret "daring" that she feels at their sexual trysts, without the conformity of marriage vows.

Lorrie

We may joke about "nurse" and "purse" but they certainly figure in why some people marry in their later years and others do not. Marriage for seniors can get complicated, especially the financial aspects, so I think for many it's simply easier to go with the status quo. However, while the younger folk share living quarters, I don't know of many senior couples who live together without benefit of matrimony. At least not in my conservative small city. We have a retirement condo here started several years ago by the Presbyterian Church, where some courtships have begun that have ended in marriage. I asked someone if one could live in sin there and was told it would be frowned upon. Perhaps that's why my 86-year-old cousin married a woman from his retirement condo. Another of my cousins lost her husband on the eve of their 50th anniversary. A few years later she went to her high school reunion and began seeing an old beau. She later moved to his home in small-town Wisconsin where she was snubbed by the older women of the community because of her non-marital status. But she was one of those who would lose her husband's pension if she remarried. What do you think -- is it more acceptable for seniors to cohabit/cohabitate now?

Years ago a widowed acquaintance of my mother's took up with a man who had been a widower for several years, and he moved into her house. That really set tongues awagging as it was kind of a princess/pauper (I exagerate a little) situation. The final consensus among the wags was that "he lives there because he does odd jobs and helps take care of the house." Sure.

Is that so much of the good things in this book are unlikely. It's too good to be true. I think most single or widowed women of this generation move steadily to, if not poverty, then financial precariousness. Costs for health care eat up discretionary funds. Housing grows more expensive. Families are too busy to include their older relatives. Friends become petty. Yet nothing seems insurmountable for long for these women - they feel they have a future and keep working toward it. Would they in real life?

But what inspires me is that mood of optimism - I see so many people who reach age 65 or 70 and they figure there is nothing left for them to do. Their lives become small. These ladies have broad and growing lives yet - and I believe that is really possible if we look at life as a journey. I see that in many of the women who write in these discussions.

N

N:

I think that theme will be heard here quite a lot as we wind down the comments on this book. "Unlikely" is the word that comes to mind when I think about all the difficult situations these ladies seem to wiggle out of so effortlessly. And yet, N, I couldn't agree more about the sense of optimism throughout.

Horselover:

That one phrase you wrote says it all, as far as I'm concerned."They have enough money for everything they want to do." For those of us on a tight budget and very fixed income, that means a lot. Let's just say it narrows your options.

Lorrie

I'm still curious as to what your answers would be to the other question in the back of the book:

How would you react if one of your children were gay or lesbian?

I find that a difficult question, not having any children alive, but hypothetically, with all the enlightened messages put forth these days, I think if I were in that position I would embrace my son or daughter and assure them that I will always love them, no matter what. I would probably have to hide my disappointment in not having grand-children, at least not blood related. It's hard to say.

Lorrie

All of my sons are hetereosexual and married, but I would hope that if they had been homosexual I would have loved them just as much. I've had 2 friends with homosexual sons who were and are much loved by their families. One is still living, in a monogamous relationship with another very fine young man. My young friend has been a wonderful help to his recently widowed mother and also when his father was so ill. These 2 young men are upstanding citizens and in no way weird. Most people in our conservative community probably know about them, although they live in a nearby large city. They are accepted here very well. Sue

My son is heterosexual but my Godson was a homosexual who ultimately died of the AIDS Virus. I loved him as much the day he died as I did the first time I set eyes on him. It made no difference to me. In fact I very much liked his partner.

One thing I would like to comment on is the time box. Have any of you had one or saw one opened? I was in a discussion group a few years ago and one of the ladies brought in a time box she had set up a number of years previously. It was fun to see what all she had put in it. The local small town newspaper, church bulletin were a few of the items. I don't remember what else but it was a plesant surprise to see the box and contents.

Now, a homosexual child, why not love them? When my four daughters were in their teens, a neighbor girl who was only 15, became pregnant and they gave the baby up for adoption. That bothered me so much. What if it had been my grandchild given away. Took me a long time to get over that and I still thank God my daughters never gave me that problem.

A homosexual child? It might not be the life you would choose for them, but you love them just the same. And worry more about them. Are they more likely to be hurt? So many people are prejudiced -- how will the rest of the world treat them?

Hi,

I haven't really been involved in the discussion since my book was so late in arriving. Had finished the two following books first and found them more realistic in many ways. The author seemed to have a better grasp on the real world!

Agree, one loves their children regardless of .... well, anything. That love shouldn't have conditions. The three women certainly have more energy and money than this person, so naturally they have more options open in life. My life is pretty dull by comparision.

Hi, Lizzy! It's nice to see you in here anyway, and I do hope you enjoyed the book as much as we did.

All your remarks in answeer to the question are very sympathetic, showing a feeling you all share of tolerance, but i think the most compassionate of all the posts was yours, Pedln, when you said, as Lizzy did,"It might not be the life you would choose for them, but you love them just the same. And worry more about them. Are they more likely to be hurt? So many people are prejudiced -- how will the rest of the world treat them?"

Nice feeling there, Pedln!

Lorrie

Thanks for bringing up the time box, O'Sharny. I was interested in the ceremonial way the ladies put their things into the box. 8 or 9 years ago, my friend's first grandson was born, and they asked friends and family to give items for a time capsule that their grandson could open when he turns 21. We gave him a 100 year old silver dollar for his capsule, with the hope that it would gain in value. 21 years isn't long enough for a time capsule to even be interesting!

21 years to one of us isn't that long, but to a young man of college age, 21 years is his forever, and what is in the time capsule may be fascinating to him. The front page of a newspaper from the day a person is born is like a history lesson.

We have some items boxed up that our kids have not seen, and maybe our grandchildren would someday enjoy exploring the past. Not a real time capsule, but a picture of those early years....

Why do we surround ourselves with pictures and items from our life, except to remember, and to share and, we hope, to pass on to others.

n

I find this talk of the time capsules very interesting. I've been wondering if the principle would work here on SeniorNet, like if we put a post apiece, something pertaining to the times, aside and schedule them to be opened many years from now. It would be interesting to see what was the common choice of literature, and which authors were still well-known and which forgotten. Hmmmmmm!

Lorrie

Lorrie, when I was a high school librarian I would sometimes try to do something similar to that in my annual report -- a paragraph or two about what books were big that year with the students, what were the favorite topics for research papers, etc.

Horselover, and Pedln:

I think it's the taste for nostalgia that we all seem to have these days, and it's especially noted in older people, don't you think?

All right, for these next remaining days,, I would like you all to try to tell me just what you did and didn't like about this book, in general.

Like so many of you, I was skeptical of the reality of the subject, so many occurrences seemed so unlikely, and everything seemed to fit together just right too often.

But on the other hand, there is a spirit of togetherness, of genuine caring, and there is a bracing warmth and generosity of spirit. This novel is all about what really matters, and is told with grace and sensitivity.

Lorrie

horselover, my children received a lot of silver dollars in their inheritance from their grandmother. They were worth $1 each! She had saved them many years thinking they would be worth much more than face value. Perhaps yours are unusual and worth more. Coin dealers will tell you the value. Sue

What did I dislike: The characters were one-dimensional, shallow. The plot was impossibly simplistic.

What did I like: It was fun to read. Opened up all kinds of "what if" thoughts, kind of like daydreaming about winning the lottery.

Would I make an effort to find and read another Covington book: No. But if one somehow appeared on my bedside table, I'd read it and probably enjoy it! JudyW

I think I enjoyed the Ladies from Covington because it was hopeful. There is too much sadness in the world. As I have a living arrangement with a friend of 44 years I find it believable. We share gardening, shopping trips, the garden and meals most evening as well as often lunches on the weekend. We have our retreats when we want solitude. Me my house and Ruth the studio. We share our happy times and our sad times. We support each other. I guess it helps that we both have similar interests. We are both book worms and share the same political convictions. Ruth was active in politics for many years and was a regional delegate for a political party at one stage. We both like good food and cooking both able to cook ethnic meals from scratch and we like growing herbs and vegetables as well as many potted flowering plants. I think we have about 80 large pots! Pot gardening can look great and its good when you have arthritis or other problems. Our back garden is bordered with all the pots instead of having garden plots. We even grow vegetables in pots and in an old plastic paddle pool.

I have read two of the Covington series and I am waiting for a third from the library.

Carolyn

Judy W:

Excellent summing up of what you liked and didn't like about the book. I think many of us share your opinion, but unlike some of us, i don't tink I would go out of my way to buy another Covington book!

Carolyn:

What an envious situation you and your friend have! It sounds ideal, and I am so glad for you. There's this thin line between solitude and loneliness, and you seem to have bridged it remarkably well.

Do any of you other readers plan to read the sequels, if you already haven't?

Lorrie

Judyw

I agree with your opinions of the book. However those are the exact reasons I like them! I am an eclectic reader. Sometimes when a non- fiction has been a hard read or a book that was so symbolic I had to read between the lines and guess the authors intent, I find the "Ladies" totally refreshing. I admire and even envy their relationship. And isn't it nice that all their problems are small and so easily solved?

Lorrie, I'm attached and have read all three of the books and am just finishing the newest 'Spirit of Covington.' I use the library for my selections so if I find something I don't like I just take it back. I'm sure I would be more discriminatory if I was buying them.

Marge

I like the friendship they have not only with each other, but with many of the people in the area. I have already read the second book and plan to read them all as I too get them from the library.

May I go back to the time capsule to say that making one for a baby is great. I'm sure many of us have some way of telling our grandchildren stories of our lives. I have been writing in a blank book and just today, looked at it and smiled to myself. I was telling about the jeep that came to our school during the second world war and it went up and down the stairs! Thanks, Lorrie, for the great discussion we have had here.

It was a fun read. As some might say, "a slow and easy float on the river." And as Judy said, it opened up a lot of "what ifs."

The living arrangements and the friendships are certainly realistic and possible. Much of the rest is more of "dream on" -- the money, the gift of the house, the problems solved too easily. I thought Grace and Bob travelled pretty far pretty fast.

The characters were likeable although I still think Amelia a bit dippy and would drive quite a few companions nuts. But say, haven't the Iraq news events of the past few days given more insight into the kind of life that she and Thomas led.

Lorrie, many many thanks for leading us in a most fruitful discussion. We really covered a lot of territory. It was a good discussion.

Carolyn, I'd love to see pictures of your "Pot" garden. My hair cutter lives out in the country and has the greenest thumb I know. She has a wonderful display of pots that I so enjoy seeing every time I go.

When the summer really gets going and all the annuals are in full bloom will take photos and post them to the photos discussion Pedln.

Carolyn

The ladies of Cov. is a book that I usually describe as my "bubble-gum" reading. It means easy reading, entertaining but not too thought provoking . Our book fit that bill. However, it gave me a sense of joy and pleasure as I suffered with, recovered and found love and everlasting friendship with each of these gals.

As usual Lorrie, you bring our the best in a discussion and in each one of us. Thank you for your efforts.

In my estimation, this has been an unusually congenial group; we have managed to cover several different topics without confrontations and shaking our fingers at one another. Some of you were with us when we discussed "Disgrace" and after that searing indictment of the South African former regime, talking about the placid Ladies of Covington seems sort of tranquil, somehow.

Your estimations of the book were extremely honest, which is as it should be, and despite some flaws, I have enjoyed reading this book very much.

I do hope that you will all find time in your busy schedules to join us in December when we read "The Secret Life of Bees." I haven't read it yet, but the reports from people who have are glowing. I feel that so many of you are old friends by now, and it's a real pleasure to be in your company.

Thank you for making this a really nice discussion, and Caroline, we will be looking to see your lovely pot flowers when they bloom. If this page is closed, then post them in the Community Center.

Bless you, all of you, and thank you for an enjoyable session!

Lorrie

This has been interesting - I liked the discussion better than I liked the book! Thanks, Lorrie. Judy W

It's the participants who MAKE the discussions and I have never been disappointed in any I have participated in here in SN. Our bookies are the BEST!

Carolyn

This discussion is being copied to the Archives. Thank you all for your participation. The discussion is now Read Only.