This is a beautifull book, Jackie. I read it years ago and still pull it open now and then. The title poem stays with me along with my favorite TS Eliot line (I grow old, I grow old, I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled)

I, too, read this book quite some time ago. Have no particular memories except that of overall disappointment. I liked the poems but found the stories-essays wanting. I was probably too young for it! <BG> At any rate, I'll be browsing here and if time permits, rereading too.

A Perfect Choice... It is one of my favorites...

I became interested in this book when I saw a sculpture or figurine done by an artist in NY with the same title. I found the poem charming and bought a card done in nice print so sent it to my mom. She put it up on the bulleton board of her senior apartment building and its still there! 10 years later! I bought the book but found it depressing. I will also be lurking!

I loved the title so much and the cover and some of the poetry that I wanted more, more from the stories. What a great book, though, to inspire discussion.

In a Senior poetry class the teacher gave us the poem and had us write our own ideas of what we would do.. It was very revealing to listen to what others wrote... and these were people I thought I understood.. had known them for years.

This is a lovely poem. There is another book, Wearing Purple, which is the correspondence of four women who met at college in 1954, and have been friends since that time. It will make an interesting addition to the poem, I believe. We can read the two books together, or read either one. The intent here is communicating with one another. I must admit to having an identity problem when I look at pictures of "Senior Citizens". These people are my mother, my grandmother, not me! But I count the years. How many of us are right around the magical "65". Talk about your biggies! 40 was nothing, 50 a breeze, 60, well, OK, a turning point, sure. 65? I'm not ready for this!

And 70 is worse

Jackie....Who is the author of Wearing Purple. Is it the same? I can remember thinking 40 was a turning point. I was depressed for days. If I only knew.

At Jackie's request I have added the book "Wearing Purple" above. I hadn't realized there were two separate books. It is my understanding that these will be discussed together.

Larry

Thanks, Larry. It seems that When I Am An Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple has become a cultural icon. As I zip around in my New Balance running shoes, my sandals, etc, I vividly remember "old lady shoes" black, like oxfords, but with wide (although not Cuban) heels. When my second grade teacher hugged me, it felt like she was wearing concrete under her dress. Can we say "girdle"? Later today, I shall post a poignant verse, written by someone deep in the throes of Alzheimer's. When does one become old, these days? No one I know, here, could be so described. My 84-year-old aunt loved X-Files!

Maybe if being "old" was valued similar to being "young," then some of us here would easily say, oh, yes, I'm old. "But you don't look 40," friends of Gloria Steinem kept telling her close to her 40th birthday--meaning it as a compliment, as if "looking 40" would be a terrible thing. She finally started saying, "But this is what 40 looks like."

Found Ya..... I loved the poetry purple, but the newer book of letters is not my cup of tea. I have dug out the other book and am reareading it at the same time as the other one to compare.. I just do not see the letters point of view. Not the same kind of people that I am. My wants at 61 and desires and needs are quite different than they seem to discuss.

I think that perhaps I understand the title poem a little better than I did, over 10 years ago,--when I first read it!---I too would like to "practise" some of the neat things mentioned.--(and have been known to, now and then)-, but,I think that the author, and I, do not believe we will ever really be,- THAT old !

Putney, Good point. That sense of unreality never sank in, but now you mention it, I realize it was always there. I have a snippet to share, one of my co-workers' has a family member deep in the throes of Alzheimer's. This is what she has to say:

I find that one of the most disturbing aspects of growing older is the inability to recall information, such as names of people or where I left my glasses a few minutes ago. This becomes quite pronounced when I go upstairs to get something: Halfway up the stairs I realize I have no inkling of what it is I am going upstairs to get. Should I go back downstairs & try to remember what it was I needed to get? Or should I continue on up to look around for something that should be brought down? Unable to decide, I resort to sitting on the stairs, only to discover shortly that I have forgotten where I was originally upstairs coming down or sownstairs going up. I recall that I did this same thing when I was twenty-five, but then I knew it was because I had so many things on my mind. Considering that I how have many more years of things on my mind, it's a wonder that I even know where the stairs are...come to think about it.

(With permission)

Yes, very good! I think our inner hard drives are getting full! And you can't drop in CompUSA and get a new one!!

Read the book a few years ago and even did it in counted cross stitch. Of course that was before I was on the internet! My feelings of turning 70 last May were really upbeat. A new decade and a new millenium.Not everyone lives this long so enjoy every day. Shirley

I agree with your sentiments---why do so many people complain that a BIRTHDAY is coming up and say they are no longer celebrating birthdays and similar comments????? To my way of thinking, a birthday is a sign one is still here, living, breathing and carrying on. The alternative is NOT to be desired, it is the BIRTHDAY that should be celebrated----as I said that is my way of speaking. Ta Ta

Birthdays? I love to celebrate birthdays... a day to do as you please... serve no one... but to be served...

I just don't count them.

That's good Pat. Don't count! Now if we could get our kids to stop counting, look how young we could all be. Just had a daughter celebrate her silver wedding anniversary. Too young.

I enjoyed both books. Wearing Purple really touched me. Even sent it to my college roommate. She and I kept in touch perhaps twice a year. In the past few years we both became "somewhat" computer knowledgeable and email often. Such support is marvelous.

di

I HAD to click on the purple button today, since purple seems to be associated with our changing lifestyles. In truth we all would love to be able to revert to doing things we shouldn't do perhaps, but it's even better to dream of doing them.

I love the "When I Grow Old" Poetry, but have not read the letters. That's a book I'll have to look up.

I have not read this book, but on seeing the banner, had to check into the site. When my daddy died when my mother was 42, she wore black for a number of months (I was only six so do not remember well about that)and then she wore purple, or lavender really. 42, she was. When my James died at age 70, I was 67, I wore a multicolored dress with a green jacket to his funeral. How time has changed!! As for birthdays, in October I will celebrate my 73rd birthday. Yep,73rd and I am so proud of it. Just think of the alternative. I'm proud to be 72 and almost73, and still be able to do my yard work, go where I want to go, alone, travel, even go to the Georgia Bash, where I met other SNers, including dear Pat and her Charlie!!

Betty Allen... Wasn't that great.. We had a wonderful time in Atlanta...

I loved your description of upstairs-downstairs, especially your deciding to sit down on the stairs and think about it all.

Charlotte

Betty, I am ten years behind you. I will be 63 in October! Such a great month for birthdays isn't it? I became a widow at age 38 when my husband died suddenly leaving me with four children to raise. They and my grandchildren still keep me young. It is so wonderful that you get out and go and take part in life. Good for you..... keep it up! My aunt lived at home alone until she was 91 and loved her independence.

Norma

I was given this book by a dear friend. I love it. I think my favorite of all is Gracefully Afraid by Mary Anne Ashley.

Jane Bramwell, West Virginia

Jane!! Welcome,Welcome!! We are truly delighted to see you here this morning and I hope, as I see you are a great reader, that you will look all around our offerings and just plan to stay with us a long long time!!

I look forward to welcoming you in all our discussions!!

So glad you're here!

Ginny

I appreciate the great Welcome.

Books have been a part of my life since early teen age years, I was lonely and my dad told me, Jane if you are reading, you are never lonely. How right he was. We lived in a small Coal Mining town and we used to swap books all up and down the road.. comics, novels. none of us had much money to spend so we would share our books. I loved it:) I have books in my car, in my Durango, in my purse. books every where.Some I love as friends, some I love as part of my family. I read and reread them over and over.I have a dear friend and she and I read the same books. and we can talk about them as if we know these people and we really enjoy them.

Again I thank you for the welcome. I look forward to this. Jane Stratton Comer Bramwell, Wv

That's beautiful, Jane!

Ginny

Discussion in "Sister Age" is creaking forward. Wonderful stories, 10 of the 15 first appeared in The New Yorker. Just read the first 6 stories and by 4,5,6, I was hooked. Those of you who were interested way back when, come on over and lend a voice. Betty (Readerdoc)

Yessssss, Betty and I are the only "discussors" so far. It does promise to be an intriguing little book. Everyone calls them "stories" but I think Sister Age is a series of memoirs that all relate to experiences with growing old, old people, and death. But Betty is ahead of me...

It's not too late to join in. Each "story" stands by itself; one could jump in anywhere, don't you think, Betty?

I got the book When I am an Old Woman from the library and find the photographs so revealing of age and yet each woman is so appealing in an innocent way...I have a favorite among them all and it is the woman wearing the Red Man cap...wouldnt it be fun to converse with her? I find that each picture shows how much we must protect each other and be protected being so easily in harms way. I just started a few hours of work in an assisted living facility... Dearhearts! They have a closed ward with a combination lock with which to open the door...inside are these seemingly normal looking folks who have a bracelet which sets off an alarm should they leave said quarters...Their crime, dearhearts, is alzenheimer. I also found a man who had worked at the other job of mine in the home being a stroke victim...I must say that all of us at home and healthy really do need to lift up a word of prayer and thanks...The homes for the elderly are getting better than they were at one time and some of the homes do try to keep the residents minds alive and really functioning which needs to be commended... I guess one never knows what twists of fate we must endure.( The book Wearing Purple I found at the library was in storage so I hope to get it also to read...)"They say wisdom comes as you age--Now I'm in a real jam---at sixty I should be a sage---look what a fool I am!" S Minanel...so with her thought I say with LOL to all you old fools, whatever the age be, lets try a little harder at living this life with lots of humor and grace! Ann

I'll add to Jeryn's description of Sister Age---these pieces of memoir also involve mid-life thoughts on moving through life and what do we mean by "wisdom," how do we come by it. Her first story relates a first "serenity of acceptance" (wisdom) while a very young girl. Even though the whole collection of pieces is about age, in some ways, it feels ageless to me in that someone 73 and someone 48 might find the same piece speaks to both.

"Another Love Story", the fifth piece is really lovely. But don't read ahead, start with number 1. I have a growing suspicion that she has carefully laid these in order.

I think I made an error posting.. I have been reading When I am an old women instead of Wearing Purple.. I just ordered Wearing Purple and am looking forward to some great stories.

Is Sister Age in Wearing Purple? if not where may I find it?

Janie Stratton2

Stratton2, sorry to be so confusing. Betty and I were just trying to stimulate some interest in our discussion of the book, Sister Age by M.F.K. Fisher, which is taking place in another folder here in Seniornet books. It too is by and about women and aging. Otherwise has no connection to these books being read and discussed here in this folder. Again, sorry if we've confused anyone.

I ordered this book. yes I was confused. but that is my normal state. thanks for telling me about this book. I ordered it last nite and it may be in by Friday.. I read another story in When I grow old I shall wear Purple today.. about the art teacher who lost her job. "out of the loins belly" I think it is called.have you all read this and if so what is your thinking..? Jane Stratton2

I just received the book. It appears to be a sheer delight. I LOVE IT! Can't wait to read further.

Shall scan and email the title poem to a dear friends on the SenorNet AOL site. She goes by the name of "Purplegram."

I wonder if I will ever be at the stage/age where I would wear purple with a red hat. Am I free or brave emough to vaunt convention? Run my stick along railings and fences? That I have done - the kids do why not me? Guess I too am in practice --- but for what?

Will return when I've read further.

Louise

I would love to waer purple with a red hat. In fact, I had the purple wool dress and was looking for a red velvet hat when I got rid of forty pounds. Dress no longer fits so it is packed away in the cedar chest. Perhaps when I die, my daughters will think of it and bury me in it. Yes! And I will get that red velvet hat because I don't want to be buried in my wig. Might be twenty or more years yet but then I was a Girl Scout and their motto is "Be Prepared"

Buried in a red velvet hat!!! You're giving me ideas!

Betty

I had intended to be buried in my golf cart but sold it for a newer model I'm not as attached to. I don't play golf we use it in the vineyard.

Ginny

I have read this book. I enjoyed every word. I hope I am brave enough to flaunt convention. I have and will again I'm sure, run a stick along the fence. What a racket It makes.

I have a way I want to be buried, but I don't think I better post it here. may shock some, well, I know for a fact it would.

It is a beautiful day in Wv. sun shining and the leaves are very beautiful..

Jane

Jane; So what about flaunting convention... How do you want to be buried?

I have opted for willing my body to the Med. School.

Just as I was born.. why take anything out of the world when you came into the world without a thing but your hertiage?

I have shocked many with my outlook but I cant' see why.

I came into the world Plain Jane and hope to go out of this world Plain Jane. No pretense of who I am or was. Just someone who has enjoyed this world to the fullest.

I have a friend who said I love the shock value of this but I don't think so. I am just honest after all.

Jane

Well, I guess I'll be in about the same state of dress or undress.. No, not shocking... I can readily see your reason.

Pat, yes you sure will be.

Glad you understand my point of view.. My family thinks I'm totally nuts.

Jane

Jane, now that is another idea. There is cremation which would consume the clothing and then there is a closed casket which so many have today. Or did you want viewing? Naked? Attended a meeting one time where the funeral director said that what the deceased wanted was not necessarily what they got. The survivors many times did what they wanted and the law would go along with it. I wonder how preplanning would handle this? How would a nudist handle this?

I wonder how preplanning would handle this? How would a nudist handle this? I have talked to my funeral director said that I can preplan but if the family says no, then it is no... not fair...

"Or did you want viewing? Naked? " I don't know yet. Jane

Ok, NOW I'm shocked.

Betty

Jane... right on!

My flaunt convention is to wear white socks.

I stopped coloring my hair 2 years ago and am getting used to the streaks of grey. I stopped wearing make-up except on very rare occasions. From having worn make-up every day of my adult life, it really took a while to recognize the face as "me" in the mirror.

Betty

Yes, but isn't your "me" face comfortable.

Corduroy jeans, denim shirts, clean hair and face....my favorite way to be now. Comfortable is the only way to go. Wish I'd done this looong ago.

I adore corduroy pants! WHERE do you find corduroy JEANS??? I look high and low and rarely see any? Make do with corduroy slacks all winter... and sweatshirts; wash-and-wear hair and lots of smiles! [Never did cotton to makeup, other than lipstick]

LOVE retirement!

Oops. I say jeans for all kinds of pants, now. I do have Denim & Co. 5-pocket corduroy jeans from QVC on television---they're wonderful. But mostly, I wear Lands' End corduroy pants. They last forever. They're on sale about once a year, or I couldn't afford them.

Betty

Readerdoc, there is a chapter in this book that shocked me but I will have to hunt for it. Could take awhile. Anyone else have a part of the book they didn't like?

Betty...

I am kidding.. sorry to shock you...

I love to kid..so beware... and convention just drives me crazy.

I need to get to know you all better...

Love Jane

A good sense of humor will help master many situations... Laughing at myself gets me me thru a lot of bad times.

A good sense of humor will help master many situations... Laughing at myself gets me me thru a lot of bad times.

Pat, the above comment is very true, I tend to find the humor in many serious sistuations and it had kept me as sane as I am now.

With one cancer patient and one Stroke Patient to care for all the time in the home, I sure do use humor to my advanage to just get thru the days and nights. We have come through many very hard days with the help of my sense of the humor and how I view our lives. If you don't laugh you cry, and I have found all that crying does for me is give me red eyes and a very bad headache. It does not change a thing, it is much like worrying.

Today I received a panic call from our daughter, Our oldest Grand Son was practicing foot ball and was hurt. The school called her and told her to get to the practice field and bring her hospital insurance cards. So Melissa was of course scared to death, she called me and said mom I need your strenght to be with me, Please come and meet us at the hospital. Josh has been injured. So my friend drove me there and he was in x ray. He has a bad sprained neck and he is black and blue. His eyes are black and his cheeks are black, I ask him if this game is worth this to him, and he said ,But Nana, I have to play I love this game.Well Nana was not pleased with this answer but it is not up to me to say that. I only said you will remain in my prayers darlin and you do what the doctor tells you to do today. He has a neck brace and he is going to be one sore young man for a few days. But his trainer was there and he is going to apply heat pack to his neck as the doctor ordered for the next week.

This could have been so much worse, I was watching TV last nite and wathing a movie of a young man who broke his neck and that was that.He will not walk again, he was a young man and his life will now be in a wheel chair. This is not what we want for our wonderful young grand childern. But again it comes down to choices and they have the right to make them and we as grand parents have to live with their choices.

Thank you for letting me talk to you all about this. Jane

Football?  I'm sure there are other sports for young athletes to show their abilities.  I'm thankful that my grandsons have been forbidden to participate in football...

Jane---My "now I'm shocked" was a joke back to you. Since I'm the family member who often provokes others to say, "there she goes again," with my offbeat, often counter-culture rebellious nature, I salute your unconventional burial plans. Go, sister!!!

I have to say, I am much more entertained by the "conversations" here than I ever was by this book!

Thanks for the corduroy jeans tip, Betty! I too have several old pairs of Lands End corduroys that I wear all winter. Unfortunately, their newer slacks have deteriorated considerably in quality and fit. I'll wear the old ones till they fall apart, I guess.

Oooooooooooo football injury! Oh Jane! How scary! I can empathize. My grandson is playing "flag" football with great relish these days. He is small in stature so I can fervently hope he doesn't make a career of this! Everytime he comes off the field with a groan on his face, I hold my breath! [oh say--go for it on those burial plans!]

Just a few lines to tell you all that Josh is very sore but he is moving.

I am tired tonight. I will go to bed and not read. been a long day, raining here all last nite and all of today.

IT is good to have this group to come to.

Jane

Hi,

It is too late to post here, most likely. But, I just found this discussion today and read all the way through it. I love the attitudes here. Being someone who has been told over and over "you just won't do", I felt I had found a home here. What are you reading next? I LOVE this group!!!!

Lucy C

Hi, Lucy, your enthusiasm is contagious, aren't they a great group? Well, how about it group? What are you reading together next??

We'll put it up for you as soon as you decide!

Ginny

Hold it! There is one person who should be posting here and that is Virginia Hendershot. When I met her in Chicago I told her I liked her hat. It was red, but I did not realize she was wearing a purple dress. When I did notice, she told me she was an old woman. I was so exciteed meeting all the Bookies that were there, I never put the two together! Will have to get her here to read the posts but go ahead with your new choices. PS will let you in on some news that hasn't gone out yet. Romance books will be discussing "Silent Honor" by Danielle Steele starting Dec 7th. Come and join us.

Shirley Scharnoski, I bought the purple out fit specially for the Chicago gathering, the red hat was my mothers that I thought would be a nice thing for Studs and I knew it would be something different, just playing. I forgot my birdie at the house that would have went nice on the nest of the red hat. My loss at funnin.

I am enjoying all for sure. ginger

Hi Ginny and all.

Heloooooooooo, Miss Ginger of the purple dress and red hat!! YOU ought to write a book, you ARE a book, that was wonderful, meeting you was wonderful, what spirit! Of course I missed the small nuances entirely, but the hat did look great! I can see you and Shirley right now, that's what's so great about meeting face to face!!!

Is there a desire to keep on reading a book about either aging or life changes or just people trying to get ON with life here? If so, let's do it, why NOT?

Shirley, will you please tell Larry about your book choice so he can get it up and we can get some advance notice for it and stir up interest??

Ginny

I found this notice in another discussion, it looks marvelous, what do you all think?

---

CharlieW - 07:39pm Nov 22, 1999 PST (#24 of 24)

Book Discussion

Some of you may be interested in a proposed book discussion tentatively scheduled for next year. The book, entitled Where River Turns to Sky by Gregg Kleiner..."a thoughtful meditation on aging" - check it out and leave a message if you might be interested

Where River Turns to Sky
Charlie