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Archives & Readers' Guides => Old Discussions => Talking Heads ~ Curious Minds ~ Op/Ed => Topic started by: BooksAdmin on March 23, 2009, 05:08:04 PM

Title: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: BooksAdmin on March 23, 2009, 05:08:04 PM: Talking Heads

"It occurred to me that nothing is more interesting than opinion when opinion is interesting..."
Herbert Bayard Swope, creator of the Op-Ed page.

(http://seniorlearn.org/bookclubs/graphics/talkingheads.jpg)

A two week forum for opinions on anything in print: magazines, newspaper articles, online: bring your ideas and let's discuss.

Our Second Selection is: The Pursuit of Happiness

What IS Happiness? What makes you happy? Where does happiness come from? Why do some people always seem to have a half full glass? Is it true (as stated in one of the sub articles here) that happiness is contagious? Can you get a case of "happy" from being around happy people?

A new study just out in the March 20 issue of Science suggests that a perfect stranger may be more to accurately predict whether you'll like something than you are. How is that possible? What does that say about us? Have we become a nation of plugged in junkies who rely on televisions and the opinions of others to even enjoy something?

Is this why we read book reviews? Is this why we listen to movie critics?

Do you think as we age that we become who we were as children? If we were morose as children are we morose adults, only more so? Read this provocative article and/ or sub articles and give us your own thoughts on what constitutes happiness.

Here is the original article, and some intriguing sub articles on Happiness in Time Magazine: this article is listed in the Health section of the magazine, what has happiness to do with health?

http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1886607,00.html

Let's talk about the Pursuit of Happiness, has it gone too far, why are strangers more able to predict if we'll be happy and is it contagious?

Discussion Leader: Ginny (gvinesc@gmail.com)
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: ginny on March 23, 2009, 05:24:21 PM: Welcome! The Pursuit of Happyness is apparently not just a movie, it's a state of being, or what is it? Can you "will" yourselfl to be happy? Will, as some studies suggested a year or so ago smiling CAUSE you as a result to be happy? Can you make yourself happy? Should you? What IS "happiness?"

Now a new study released March 20th in Science Magazine and linked in the heading shows that...well it's pretty unbelievable, but you can read it for yourself: strangers are more able to predict whether or not you'll like something or be happy with the result than you are.

Huh?

That sort of begs the question, and it's something I have wanted to discuss for a long time: WHAT is TV doing to us? Not only TV but the mass media? Why do we need somebody ELSE to TELL us if we are going to like something? If I could find a good article on the effects of mass media on us, I'd love to kick it around especially since your local newspaper may NOT be coming much longer, they're dying out daily (mine is so small now it is pitiful).

But why kill trees? We must discuss that one and the effects on the small town, but Babi has brought us this amazing article, thank you so much, Babi, and it's from, among others, Time Magazine and their Health sections.

What has happiness to do with health?

What IS happiness? I've heard people say you can't "find happiness." The harder you look for it the less chance you have of finding it. Is that true?

What do you think of a study which has these results? Is "Happiness" catching?

Let's discuss!

I'll start by saying there is NO way somebody will be able to tell what I am going to enjoy in food or in books or anything else, nobody knows us the way we do. But they say not. They say we all think of ourselves as unique individuals...er......

What do you think? Can we try this out somehow? hahahaa Let's figure out how to try this out right here.

Everybody is welcome, it's an amorphous subject. What would you say on average tho, time wise, percentage wise, of the day that the average person spends daily looking for this ephemeral quality?
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: mrssherlock on March 23, 2009, 05:25:19 PM: Yanh! Yanh! I get to be first! Seriously, the concept of happiness is somewhat foreign in this stage of my life. This will be a stretch for my feeble brain. I bought my ticket so I'll stay 'til the end of the line, so to speak.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: mrssherlock on March 23, 2009, 06:05:14 PM: Oops! I should have said changes in my happiness do not account for much of my thinking these days. Sorry. There are some interesting sociological findings which pertain loosely to this topic. Hope I can find the citations.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: ginny on March 23, 2009, 06:12:57 PM: hahaha YOU are first! I was just sitting here thinking about the topic, watching the news, and a commercial came on and it struck me: do you ever see any UNhappy looking models selling anything?

Do we trust a man smiling happily talking to us more than we do one scowling?

Think even of the Presidential Debates: Nixon versus Kennedy. Why was it thought Nixon lost?

Do we have a perception that Success= Happy? Is that true?

Maybe this happiness thing is more pervasive than we've even thought of. :)
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: ALF43 on March 23, 2009, 09:00:45 PM: I love this topic of happiness: "high spitits, glee, jubilation."
I love the adjectives describing that word or can that word be used as an adjective? HAPPY? I shall return on this note. HAPPY is verb, it denote action. But a happy soul? How about a happy face?
Try smiling at a group of Senior citizens or little babies all the way through the mall. Make an attempt to "work the room" with a happy countenance or or an air of delight and see how people respond to you.
We are all challenged in this day and age to spread this word of joy. It is something that I try to accomplish daily. Sadly, I do not always perform as I would like but ---happiness , as fleeting as it may be, is essential to our good health and affiliation with our fellow man.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: Pat on March 23, 2009, 10:28:13 PM: Happiness

Doing what you like -- and liking what you do -- and smiling all the way thru.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: maryz on March 23, 2009, 10:42:28 PM: I don't like to read or listen to reviews of books or movies or concerts before I experience them. Then sometimes I like to read a review to compare my opinion to the reviewers. IMHO, too often, the reviewer tells more of the story than I want to know before I read it.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: jane on March 24, 2009, 08:12:58 AM: Quote
do you ever see any UNhappy looking models selling anything?

Yes, there are a lot of unhappy models selling medicines...depression medications "to ask your doctor about," over-the-counter meds/products for various ailments and conditions.

I agree with you, Mary. The reviewers tell way too much and I fail to understand why his/her view should ever come close to what I might like. Reading choices are like art...nobody else should pick out what they like and give it to you or expect you to like it too. [I had a sister-in-law who was upset when her new daughter-in-law didn't hang a large art work in the living room. The SIL would have been the FIRST person to complain loudly and publicly if someone else had tried that with her!]

I also dislike having people "insist" I take a book they've read ...saying, "you'll love it." Nope...hasn't happened yet. So, I take it, keep it forever and then return it to the "giver" saying I just haven't had time to get to it. I guess it's about my right to read and enjoy what I like and when I like. In the same vein, I dislike people deciding that one genre of literature is worthy, but another is "beneath" a literate person. Hello? Who made them the Literature Emperor?

Geez...can you tell I have a fierce "independent" streak??? ;)

Quote
Do we have a perception that Success= Happy? Is that true?
Probably...if the individual is allowed to use his OWN criteria for what "success" is.

jane
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: maryz on March 24, 2009, 09:07:20 AM: jane, one of John's cousins became obsessed with a recent group featured on a PBS special and DVD. I gather it plays constantly at their house. When they came through here for an overnight, they wanted us to "enjoy" it with them. We knew they'd be here only a few hours, and said we'd watch it later - just wanted to spend time with them. But, NO. That wouldn't do - so we watched about half of it, listening to a running commentary. When it finally got turned off, they left it here. We never watched it, but returned it to them, telling them that it was indeed wonderful and thanking them for loaning it to us. Just a little white lie. ::) ::) It is a good program, and we probably would have watched and enjoyed it, if it hadn't been forced on us.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: Babi on March 24, 2009, 09:13:47 AM: Quote
Do we trust a man smiling happily talking to us more than we do one scowling? Think even of the Presidential Debates: Nixon versus Kennedy. Why was it thought Nixon lost?
...from Ginnny
Hmm. I think I may be less vulnerable to advertising that the average person,
as my Dad used to point out half-truths and evasions as we watched ads. Like the ones that sound like they will resolve your problem, but actually say "aids in the relief of..."

Good point about the debates. Most recently, you remind me of the difference between John McCain and Obama during their debates. McCain was usually frowning and appearing tense and irritated.

ALF, I always smile at babies; I can't help it. As for a group of Senior citizens,
I join them twice a week and we all smile nicely. :)

I don't know about that, JANE. I've certainly had a lot of recommendations from people here that have led to a lot of enjoyable reading. And while I don't read newspaper reviews, I have found some interesting books from reading things like "Bookpage" from the library. On the other hand, I used to find that what a certain movie reviewer extolled, I didn't like, and vice versa.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: jane on March 24, 2009, 09:52:49 AM: Quote
I don't know about that, JANE. I've certainly had a lot of recommendations from people here that have led to a lot of enjoyable reading.

Yep, Babi...recommendations from others here are good. It's the "professional reviewers" who write entire columns on this or that book that I object to. They always tell me more about the book than I want to know...they need to fill all those inches of space, I guess.

I hear you, Mary. I've returned books thrust upon me, literally, from well meaning people who are SURE I'll love the book with the same sort of response.

jane
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: mrssherlock on March 24, 2009, 04:15:34 PM: I've read the sources cited and I am unmoved. Happiness is a measure of life that matters more to young people than to oldies like me. My goals are more pragmatic. This does not mean that I am unhappy. On the whole I am content with my life and my conduct. Maybe it is my definition of happiness = giddy, ecstatic, joyous, floating on air, etc. Happiness is also associated with unplanned success, like winning the lottery. As the article states, I have eliminated what doesn't please me (except paying bills). And the opinions of others matter little to me. My family is reserved rather than exuberant. I no longer hear my mother's voice telling me what to do and not do, what to like and not like. So I guess I'm out of step for this discussion. But it's interesting to read how others think and feel about this.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: Steph on March 24, 2009, 04:44:56 PM: Happiness.. I try really hard to go through each day smiling at people and trying to communicate a joy of living. I guess I know too many people who seem determined not to be happy or joyful. I like living a lot better smiling than I did when I frowned and got angry a lot. Ifind that trying hard to find a silver lining each day is good for me. I used to get a number of stupid illnesses and determine that they were the reason if I was unhappy. Now I try to see whatever is the brighter end and it helps me enormously. Both of my parents died relatively young and I have always wanted to live each day as if it were a gift.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: lucky on March 24, 2009, 05:21:24 PM: This is truly a great topic to discuss. The best definition of happiness is that of Schopenhauer. "Happiness", he wrote, is the absence of pain".
The word pain in this definition is not necessarily physical. In our lives we experience much emotional, spiritual, and psychological pain. To be able to overcome even a fraction of these experiences gives one cause to be happy. On a lighter note, when I read a review of a movie and the reviewer raves about it or rates it four stars, I know that I will not care for it. I can't tell you how many four star movies I've seen that I disliked, not only disliked, but disliked intensely.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: maryz on March 25, 2009, 05:37:36 AM: How timely for our discussion!
Every day I check A Word A Day (http://wordsmith.org/words/today.html) and the last thing on each day's page is a Thought for the Day. This is today's "thought"...

A THOUGHT FOR TODAY:
There are two ways of being happy: We may either diminish our wants or augment our means - either will do - the result in the same; and it is for each man to decide for himself, and do that which happens to be the easiest. If you are idle or sick or poor, however hard it may be to diminish your wants, it will be harder to augment your means. If you are active and prosperous or young and in good health, it may be easier for you to augment your means than to diminish your wants. But if you are wise, you will do both at the same time, young or old, rich or poor, sick or well; and if you are very wise you will do both in such a way as to augment the general happiness of society. -Benjamin Franklin, statesman, author, and inventor (1706-1790)
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: Sandy on March 25, 2009, 08:33:28 AM: The older we get, I think the truer that statment is about Happiness. In a face to face book group we once voted 60 as the happiest age. Unanimously. At the time most members were in early to mid seventies.

At seventy five I am amazed at the value of each day. So many of my friends were denied the opportunity to reach this stage of life. I try to enjoy the time they so desperately wanted to have and couldn't. I think we find are able to find happiness in the smallest detail of our days. Yesterday the sight of a robin splashing in our bird bath was enough to make me happy even as I watch my husband leaving me with his Alzheimer's disease.

Sandra
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: Babi on March 25, 2009, 10:10:35 AM: Steph, I made the startling discovery, years ago, that changing my attitude
toward a situation set me free from my angst over it. The circumstances hadn't
change, but my thinking had, and I was much happier for it.

Great quote, MARYZ.

SANDY, I couldn't agree more. I don't know how often I have been caught by
the play of light and shadow as sunlight streamed through the trees. The
interlude invariably leaves me feeling peaceful and content. And I always
stop and watch if I spot a blue bird or a cardinal in one of my trees.
There have been moments of natural beauty so intense that they took me
quite out of myself, which I think is always a good thing.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: ALF43 on March 25, 2009, 11:46:18 AM: What a wonderful, deep, insightful discussion you have made.
Maryz- Franklins quote was in the 1700's and each day, here in the 21st century, it still resonates.

Sandy- that is a wonderful tribute to all those you love and have had the joy of loving.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: Steph on March 25, 2009, 04:48:52 PM: My greatest joy in the past few months have been giving a new life to a rescue corgi. Gracie came into our lives in pain and fear. To watch her blossom and laugh and now reach out and attempt to play has brought me such joy.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: Pat on March 25, 2009, 04:55:45 PM: Talking Heads

"It occurred to me that nothing is more interesting than opinion when opinion is interesting..."
Herbert Bayard Swope, creator of the Op-Ed page.

(http://seniorlearn.org/bookclubs/graphics/talkingheads.jpg)

A two week forum for opinions on anything in print: magazines, newspaper articles, online: bring your ideas and let's discuss.

Our Second Selection is: The Pursuit of Happiness

What IS Happiness? What makes you happy? Where does happiness come from? Why do some people always seem to have a half full glass? Is it true (as stated in one of the sub articles here) that happiness is contagious? Can you get a case of "happy" from being around happy people?

A new study just out in the March 20 issue of Science suggests that a perfect stranger may be more to accurately predict whether you'll like something than you are. How is that possible? What does that say about us? Have we become a nation of plugged in junkies who rely on televisions and the opinions of others to even enjoy something?

Is this why we read book reviews? Is this why we listen to movie critics?

Do you think as we age that we become who we were as children? If we were morose as children are we morose adults, only more so? Read this provocative article and/ or sub articles and give us your own thoughts on what constitutes happiness.

Here is the original article, and some intriguing sub articles on Happiness in Time Magazine: this article is listed in the Health section of the magazine, what has happiness to do with health?

http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1886607,00.html

Let's talk about the Pursuit of Happiness, has it gone too far, why are strangers more able to predict if we'll be happy and is it contagious?

Discussion Leader: Ginny (gvinesc@gmail.com)
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: straudetwo on March 25, 2009, 11:28:53 PM: Very thoughtful posts, all of them.

I believe that, sadly, there is more unhappiness in this world than happiness. And yes, Ginny, some people are born unhappy and impossible to please.
Life with a permanently unhappy, hypercritical, impossible-to-please individual casts a very long shadow.

What I have aspired to all my life is not so much happiness per se - perhaps because I don't think it exists, except possibly only for fleeting moments, but harmony, tolerance, understanding, peace.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: straudetwo on March 25, 2009, 11:38:29 PM: P.S. Perhaps it is the small things that give us pleasure and a modicum of happiness.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: Steph on March 26, 2009, 09:05:34 AM: I always did not understand why my mother-in-law was so unhappy. She never took joy in anything. Always wanted what others had not what she did. It made her very hard to be around.She never felt that my husband did what she thought he should. I did not raise the children properly. She simply announced when she was coming and always prefaced it with.."all of my friends are going to their childrens, so I willbe coming" . Then when she got to our house, we had to stop our lives and try to entertain her. When my children got older and I refused to make our lives stop for her, she whined constantly when she visited. I have never understood what was lacking in her life. I do know that my husband stopped trying to make her happy.. So sad really.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: mrssherlock on March 26, 2009, 01:20:04 PM: Steph: Sounds like my mother. It's like somewhere there is a party going on, lots of fun and people, but she wasn't invited so nothing else pleases. When I realized, finally, that I could never please her it freed me to do for her what I wanted to do for my mother, not this unhappy "victim" of life.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: ALF43 on March 26, 2009, 01:59:01 PM: Speaking of happiness- remember when all of us laughed and enjoyed the humor of the "clowns?" I received this today, sit back and be HAPPY. I miss these people so much and there are only a couple left.

laugh with the clowns (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfPI4PTu8_s&NR=1)
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: Steph on March 27, 2009, 04:39:45 PM: Pure Joy?? I saw it this morning in Dunkin Donuts. A tiny litle boy got his donut in his own bag and the look on his face brought everyone in the place to a full smile. His enchantment made you remember the first times in your life.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: Babi on March 28, 2009, 10:04:17 AM: Oh, Steph, thanks for sharing that little gem. I wish I had been there to see him.
I am reminded of the look on my brother's face so many years ago when my husband, planning on buying us a new car, announced to him that he could have our old one. Wonder, delight and incredulity all struggling for expression!
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: Steph on March 28, 2009, 10:41:49 AM: It is always my intention to store away those awesome moments you can witness. Some times because you are involved, but others like the Dunkin moment, when you simply are a bystander. Life is short, store up joy.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: nlhome on March 28, 2009, 02:02:37 PM: Just marking so I remember to come back.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: Babi on March 28, 2009, 08:48:12 PM: I just lost an entire post! Drat!
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: Steph on March 29, 2009, 09:47:49 AM: For some reason I thought last night about the Beat generation of poets.. Now they dispised happiness. They only wanted to run everything down. My cousin who always lived with us adored the Beat poets, came home after college, painted her room black, walls,ceiling and floor. Moved the mattress to the floor and slept on that, grew her hair out and generally acted as if the world was coming to an end tomorrow. She got really bent out of shape, when my Dad howled with laughter and told her that she had provided him with the best moment he had had for years.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: Babi on March 29, 2009, 09:56:46 AM: Okay, having had a night's sleep I am ready to try again with that post.

Remember this from the article: "..people who try to imagine how much they will like or dislike a future event (a blind date, say) are usually wildly off the mark.."
That makes sense to me. Don't you find that often, in thinking about an upcoming event, you have certain hopes and expectations? Or perhaps, fears and insecurities? It's almost impossible to accurately predict what your reaction will truly be, since you are so emotionally involved.

I knew a person who believed that attaining something they wanted was the key to their happiness. If they didn't get what they wanted they could be difficult to live with. If they did get it, they soon found that it didn't make that much difference and certainly didn't satisfy them. So they would soon demand something else that they believed would make them happy. Sad, really.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: ginny on March 29, 2009, 11:19:32 AM: Yes and I don't think anybody can predict something somebody else would like! How can that be, we're all so different! Even here where we are hardly strangers, I don't believe you could predict what I might like to read or eat or anything else! Those of you who are new, we need to hear from you in this, you're not strangers any more but we don't have 12 years of reading opinions, please do chirp in.

We can try it, if you like. I'll go first, somebody predict if I would like foie gras?

??

Then you can ask your own question and we'll predict, let's test it out.

Would I like foi gras?

I think that study is flawed, or else influenced by something we're not being told, that's almost ridiculous.

I've been thinking about this topic a lot. I think some of you have been profound in your thoughts, and all have been interesting. Somebody mentioned the absence of pain. It's a truism that we don't appreciate while we have it good health until something happens and we lose it.

You can see sometimes when a movie star wins something or a team wins something and here come the reporters talking about the next project. Happiness is so fleeting, that actual triumphant moment will never come again. Other variations on that moment will come all happy, but that particular moment is SO fleeting.

I don't blame people for saying I just want to enjoy this moment. I don't think we do a lot of that, enjoying THIS moment.

I think one benefit in growing older IS the realization that this moment is limited and may not come again, and we need to be grateful for it.

As some of you know I keep my 2 year old grandbaby. I am conscious of every passing day that it won't come again and soon he'll be in school and gone. These days will not come again, ever. So I want to enjoy every minute if I can. What a difference in my own children and how, younger, I treated them, bless their hearts, I can see it.

If we're going somewhere and he wants to stop and smell the roses we do. I always heard that being a grandparent was different, I never understood why. It is.

But the change is in us.

I love travel. I get a lot of pleasure out of it. I like the excitement, I like making my own way and solving problems. It seems, for instance, harder for me to book a ferry passage from Boulogne France to Dover England than it was for Caesar to cross 2000 years ago. And about as long haahaha. (Frommers talks about a 6 hour ferry crossing from Calais to Dover for instance, I believe they call it "lousy.") hahaha Yes I've done the Chunnel, many times. I want to experience the crossing as he did and go to Walmer Beach and Deal, and see the white cliffs come up and see what the tides are like.

One woman traveler wrote that she got two trips: the planned one and the actual one which were usually quite different. I find that to be true and both are equally pleasurable. The hope and expectation of the first one and the little unexpected pleasures of the reality of the second.

So, what do you think? Let's do a small experiment. Would I like foie gras?

You to say, let's play a little______________ And then ask us your own question.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: mrssherlock on March 29, 2009, 03:02:20 PM: I'm still stuck on this one. I've really been trying. reading all your comments and trying to apply them to my life. Looking back at my life I can see lots of things I desired but never were given. Like going for the the Sunday drive and passing the ice cream store without stopping. I guess I was conditioned not to wish. When good things happen it is chance. Travel and dining are very enjoyable and I happily anticipate them but am not aware of an agenda.

Will Ginny like foi gras? I think you are so open to newness and discovery that you won't hate it but how much will you enjoy it? Not a lot, I'd say. And I can't think of a question, can't wonder if I will like any particular thing.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: JoanR on March 29, 2009, 04:13:01 PM: Ginny, I think that as you most likely know how foie gras is made, you would not like it I know that I couldn't touch it myself. I
never could eat lamb or veal since I had the care of the baby calves on the farm as a child. As an adult, I have given up meat but do eat chicken and fish. I'm probably healthier for it and certainly easier in my mind.
Now being easy in one's mind is a big component of happiness. I think that I'm a happy person. I find joy in lots of little things and find pleasure in the company of my pretty large family. I'm proud of all of them.
I enjoy listening to music, going to art museums, and most of all, I find a great deal of pleasure in my books of which I probably have far too many. I enjoy creating - sewing, cooking etc
I don't need a lot of other material things and don't "hanker" after them!

Would I like a long sea voyage?
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: ALF43 on March 29, 2009, 06:18:57 PM: Quote
Would I like foi gras?
Ginny asks.

OK that is your question and now mine is:
Is that something to EAT or to smoke?
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: ginny on March 29, 2009, 07:49:48 PM: hahaha Andrea, it's food. Oh good now we have another challenge.

Would Joan R like a long sea voyage? I've actually met Joan and so did you Andy at the 10th Annual Bookfest in NYC. Hmmm would she like a long sea voyage?

I've MET her and I have no idea, how can anybody have an idea here?

I'll say no.

What do you say about Joan, Andrea and what's your question about what you might like?

Jackie you should have been a diplomat, that's the most diplomatic answer I ever saw. Ask us a question!
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: ALF43 on March 30, 2009, 08:57:19 AM: No! I would say NO Joan doesn't like a long sea voyage. She strikes me as a lady with more "focused" desires. I'm sure Joan would much prefer traveling throughout museums and chatting with the staff or the on lookers.

As for me--hmm a question noone would know.
What , IMO, is the most important asset a person can have.

NO it is not honesty! That is highly over rated!! ::)
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: JoanR on March 30, 2009, 09:00:32 AM: Perhaps 2 things, Andrea: The ability to love and to forgive
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: ALF43 on March 30, 2009, 09:06:58 AM: Two very important assets, indeed, BUT no- that's not it, Joan.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: Babi on March 30, 2009, 09:38:14 AM: GINNY, the studies in the article seem to find that people have much more in common than you might think, and that we're not all 'so different'. They also note that people of like backgrounds and interests tend to group together, so your neighbor is likely to feel/think much as you do about the 'biggies' of life.

As for the 'foie gras', I think you would definitely try it. You're not afraid to
experiment and try new things. Whether you will like it or not depends on whether you like liver, which is definitely a personal taste. Me, I like liver, esp. chicken (but not beef) and I would probably love foie gras.

JOAN, I suspect you might like a short voyage, but not a long one. You would miss your family and your daily activities and you'd want to get back home.

No fair, ALF! There are so many fine values to choose from. We are supposed to be guessing whether or not you would enjoy a certain something, or not.

Okay,..a question about me. Hmmm... Do you think I would enjoy learning how to play 42?
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: ALF43 on March 30, 2009, 10:05:53 AM: Oh alright Babi, you're right. That is unfair. I will narrow it down, somewhat.
Question: In a Friendship what is the most important quality, IMO?

As for 42, I had to google it.
For the literal-minded and those unfamiliar with terms like "base thirteen," this is a number system in which the number 10 is equivalent to our more familiar decimal 13. A base-13 number 42, therefore, is the same as four 13s plus 2, or decimal 54. So "six by nine" (six times nine) or decimal 54 is, in base 13, 42. For the mystically inclined, 42 in base 13 is the same as 110110 in binary (base 2). This could mean almost anything, and many Adams fans have spent untold hours discovering all of the places where the number "42" pops up. For example, there are many mentions of the number in the Book of Revelation. Others have made a game of finding 42s, such as these:

The angle at which light reflects off of water to create a rainbow is 42 degrees.
Two physical constants in the universe are the speed of light and thediameter of a proton. It takes light 10 to the minus 42nd power seconds to cross the diameter of a proton.
The sum of the ordinal alphabetic positions of the initials (SPG) for Stan (P.) Gibilisco, an oft-published science and technology writer, is equal to 42 (S=19, P=16, G=7).
A barrel holds 42 gallons.

Is it a guessing game, or a math game?
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: mrssherlock on March 30, 2009, 10:46:36 AM: Joan: Those are truly important but a sense of humor has to be up there, too. And empathy, we must be able to put ourselves figuratively into another's shoes.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: JoanR on March 30, 2009, 11:52:17 AM: Jackie, all of those qualities are important! I don't think it's possible to narrow our choices down to just one! I might add "curiosity" too if we should happen to make a list.

OK Andrea - what's the answer??
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: Steph on March 30, 2009, 12:48:29 PM: Ginny would h ate the foie gras..... Long voyages, hard to tell. I went back to look and the heading is Pursuit of Happiness. How in the world do you pursue happiness.. and how would you catch it.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: Babi on March 31, 2009, 08:16:19 AM: ALF, '42' is a game played with dominoes. I remember my Dad used to play with friends, and there are some 42 players at the Senior center. (Isn't it the number '40' that keeps appearing in the Bible?)
In friendship, I think the most important thing is to be there and willing to listen in time of need. And, of course, be a trustworthy listener. Lips sealed!
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: ALF43 on March 31, 2009, 12:36:52 PM: L O Y A L T Y
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: ALF43 on March 31, 2009, 12:40:24 PM: Babi= I have playd regular dominoes and Mexican train but have neer heard of 42. Boy, I was way off wasn't I?

Happiness is a puzzle for me. I love puzzles, particularly good jigsaw puzzles. For Christmas Bill bought me a 540 peice "puzzleball." It has a display stand and is a round globe of our world. The pieces are plastic. It was so much fun to put together and proudly sits atop my desk. Believe it or not, I refer to it quite a bit of the time.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: Eloise on March 31, 2009, 04:05:52 PM: Oh! Ginny and Alf, you two always make me laugh. You say "Would I like foi gras?" I don't think you would because 'foi gras' in French is "fat faith". But foie gras is "fat liver". It is a gourmet dish that originated in France and it looks like this:.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x4wt6q_le-foie-gras-micuit-daugustin_lifestyle

I think you would like "un petit morceau sur un craquelin" A little piece on a cracker with a glass of fine Bordeaux c'est délicieux.

Happiness?

An extremely beautiful actress, Carole Bouquet when asked if she was happy she replied that happiness comes in small doses among long periods of sadness and boredom.

There are degrees of happiness, extreme happiness is not constant, we wouldn't be able to stand it because of its intensity but contentment can be quite satisfying if not as exciting.

Occasionally I have found extreme happiness being with someone I love, holding a baby, seeing a beautiful landscape, listening to music, achieving a difficult goal, seeing places I had always dreamed of seeing.

But I am content with being independent, having family and friend around, challenging my brain, having a nice meal in good company, that sort of thing. Happy people are positive, laugh a lot and avoid bad company.

I
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: mrssherlock on March 31, 2009, 07:47:29 PM: Epiphany: When my cat squirms in delight each morning when I wake up and pet him, that's happiness. When I catch sight, once again, of the mighty volcano, Mt. Hood, gleaming whitely over the Willamette Valley, my breath catches and I moan at its beauty, that's happiness. Without this discussion I would not have been ibntouch with these parts of my being. This has enriched my life beyond words. Thank you all.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: Steph on April 01, 2009, 07:52:13 AM: I do agree that I get great joy from Seniorlearn.. Communicating with other book lovers is wonderful. Readers often feel isolated from others since so many adults do not read.. Too find a whole community of book lovers is such fun.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: Babi on April 01, 2009, 09:42:40 AM: My Dad brought to my attention the difference between 'happy' and 'contented', somewhat painfully. Apparently he was bothered by what he felt was inappropriate placidity in a teenager. Whatever it was, he said, "You're not happy. You're contented,...like a cow!" Well, I didn't like the reference to a cow, but I did understand the difference he was pointing out.
Just for the record, my Dad was a kind man and not in the habit of making hurtful remarks. I wouldn't want anyone to think badly of him.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: ALF43 on April 01, 2009, 11:34:55 AM: AMEN- Steph!
I completely agree with your statement.

Quote from: Steph on April 01, 2009, 07:52:13 AM
I do agree that I get great joy from Seniorlearn.. Communicating with other book lovers is wonderful. Readers often feel isolated from others since so many adults do not read.. Too find a whole community of book lovers is such fun.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: mrssherlock on April 01, 2009, 03:21:16 PM: Have I confused happiness with elation? Just a thought.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: Steph on April 02, 2009, 07:51:33 AM: I think most of us have a feeling about happiness. It means different things to each of us. Defining it is difficult for any of us. I get such joy from my dogs. They make me laugh and come to cuddle at least once a day. Nothing like a small shy rescue who comes tentatively to you and then is blissful when you rub her tum and call her sweet thing..
My grandchildren make me happy in an entirely different way and my adult children and spouses also contribute to a different happiness. Staying in daily touch with email to my best friend since the first grade.. That is still another form of happiness.. See.. different.. Always
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: lucky on April 02, 2009, 08:48:50 PM: These past few years I've lost a great deal that contributed to happiness. My husband died over a year ago after a long bout with cancer. My health has deteriorated what with a fractured hip, spinal stenosis, and blood clots. I've lost more than half of our IRA. All of these events have made me unhappy. If I could regain what I have lost I would be happier than I am now, but that can never be. Hopefully my health will improve but the most important person in my life for so many years will never return and the happiness that I once had will be no more. At this point in my life I would just welcome contentedness.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: Steph on April 03, 2009, 07:52:11 AM: Oh Lucky,, I realize how hard things have been for you. Possibly contentment is the best to help you now. Losing a long marriage other half has to be hard. I know I am lucky in that for 51 years, I have had an other half.. Even though he drives me nuts at times..
But and this is a big but... sometimes tiny things can give you a small part of happiness. I know that at bad times in my life, even the joy of a small bird singing his heart out at dawn on my walk has made me stop and laugh. Dont go for big.. look for small..Sometimes they are the most realistic
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: Babi on April 03, 2009, 09:02:55 AM: Good advice, STEPH. I remember years ago a modern young woman pointing at a turned-over garbage can and exclaiming, "That's real life." I promptly replied, "So is a sunset!" She gave a startled "What?" I told her that a sunset is just as real as a garbage can, and that it was up to her which one she would rather concentrate on.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: ALF43 on April 03, 2009, 09:30:20 AM: Babi- perhap I am just a sentimental old fool but I could hug you!

What a wonderful retort for the "garbage talker." If each of us would just spend one moment a day spreading joy or hope, what a much happier planet we would encounter. Do you agree? Did you see the news where a cople of gals paid for the person behind at a "drive in" window. That is spreading joy. Pay it forward is a concept I wish we would all adopt.

lucky- here is a huge old hug for you and a wish that we here at Seniorlearn can provide you with a touch of happiness. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ hug }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: lucky on April 03, 2009, 11:45:15 AM: Hi ALF43

Thank you for the BIG hug and to all the others for their kind words. Seniorlearn does indeed help the loneliness. It is as though I have new found friends with whom to converse.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: mrssherlock on April 03, 2009, 11:53:17 AM: Lucky: I feel as if we were all a family, related by ties other than blood but perhaps stronger in some ways. Your pain is felt by us all, not to the same degree but felt deeply nevertheless. Like rays of light, from all over the world, centering on you to help you find your path.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: Eloise on April 03, 2009, 12:20:40 PM: Yes Lucky contentment is better than bitterness and if it wasn't for contentment I don't know what could have happened for me. Happiness or contentment is finding joy in something that is right in front of us, it can be a newly bloomed flour, or here in Montreal it is leaves that are sprouting one month earlier than usual.

Nothing can replace what you've lost in the same way, but many things can bring you delightful moments and it's up to you to find out what and where they are.

Some find it in their faith, some in family and friends, some in art, some in all of those things, but it's there for sure. I was fortunate to still have my teen aged children still at home and I was still working, so there was not much time to be lonely, it's solitude that makes loosing a spouse worse.

We are all reachable by email, don't hesitate to use it whenever you feel the burden too hard to carry.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: Steph on April 04, 2009, 09:25:37 AM: Amazing.. We really do function as a large caring family. Senior net and now Senior Learn does this. It connects us. Makes us think that we have people who care all over the place. I only have attended one bookies week, but I know that I walked into the beach house and instantly thought I was surrounded by people I knew.. We had such a good time. Books all over the place, conversation everywhere and games flying.. Even though there were some definite cheating going on in the scrabble game.. Hmmph..
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: Babi on April 04, 2009, 10:16:05 AM: ALF, I definitely consider myself 'hugged', and it quite cheers me. Thank you for a lovely start to the morning.

Cheating in a scrabble game, STEPH? Don't they have a dictionary they have to use to establish the legitimacy of a word? Of course, the old standard 'Scrabble' dictionary allowed words no teacher of English would ever
recognize or accept! I love Scrabble. I'm definitely a word person.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: Steph on April 05, 2009, 09:29:57 AM: We were in a rented house.. So no dictionery.. Cheating was simply a joke.. We had a player, that no matter what we put out, she immediately decided it was not a word.. Not to mention names, but I think a simple G would suffice.
We also played the craziest card game. I cannot even remember the name, but it was wild. All in all a week in the middle of the winter in the south at the beach ( ritzy mansion, expensive in season, but cheap enough out ). We laughed and laughed.. Charleston will never be the same.. Eloise was there, Anna Fair, Judy, Pedlin. Ginny, Joan G. etc.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: mrssherlock on April 05, 2009, 02:00:38 PM: Happiness is: elation bliss contentment ecstasy ?
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: Steph on April 06, 2009, 07:41:50 AM: OK.. I will go elation, bliss, contentment, not quite sure on the ecstasy.
I misspelled that word five times. Hmm.
Spelling is going for me. I used to be a championspeller, wont all sorts of matches when I was young. I have noted however that in the past few years, I have stopped caring about it.
Another one of those sneaky old things??
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: Babi on April 06, 2009, 09:14:50 AM: I love Scrablle, STEPH. I have the game on my computer, and frequently play with myself. My kids do not challenge me on a word; it does not pay! 8) I wish I could have joined you all for what sounds like a wonderful, fun week.
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: BooksAdmin on April 06, 2009, 01:57:32 PM: This discussion is now closed.

Please visit our new topic at http://seniorlearn.org/forum/index.php?topic=420.0
Title: Re: Talking Heads ~ Happiness
Post by: ginny on April 06, 2009, 02:00:28 PM: THIS has just been an incredible discussion. Every time I come in here my jaw drops, it's been profound, and I've really gotten a lot out of it, thank you all.

Love the garbage can analogy, Babi.

Andrea did you ever say what the quality was? YES! Yes you did and I was coming in to say loyalty and I see you answered! I want a prize! hahahaa

On the foie gras (hahaha Eloise, love that just love it, thank you!) your remarks have made me rethink my original position. As Joan said since I do know how it is made I would not touch it. However if it were served and I did not know what it WAS would I enjoy it? that's another matter, I love pate, so who knows?

That begs an important question, which we will take up in our new Talking Heads #3, a timely topic we all know a lot about! :) (or do we?)

This discussion is now closed but please come over here to Do Not Go Gentle and let us know what you think!

http://seniorlearn.org/forum/index.php?topic=420.msg18196#msg18196