The Gettysburg Address critiqued:
Many years ago, when computerized programs critiquing writing started to become popular, my husband Bob typed the Gettysburg Address into one. Here's what it said (there are 2 or 3 minor errors because he was typing it in from memory):
Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. (Split into two sentences? Long sentence: 29 words.) Now we are engaged in a great (is this justified? great) civil war, testing whether that nation or any nation so conceived and so dedicated can long endure. (Split into two sentences) We are met on a great (is this justified? great) battlefield of that war. We have come here to dedicate a portion of that field as a final resting place for those who gave their lives that that (repeated word) nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this. But (sentence begins with but) in a larger sense we cannot dedicate—we cannot consecrate—we cannot hallow this ground. (Is sentence too negative?) The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here have consecrated it far above our poor power to add or detract. (Is sentence too negative?) The world will little note nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget (negative: never forget) what they have done here. It is for us, the living, rather to be here dedicated to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather (weak sentence start) for us to be here dedicated to the great (is this justified? great) task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave their last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth in freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, and for the people shall not perish from the earth.
(Split into two sentences. Is sentence too negative? Long sentence: 72 words. Negative not perish.)
Overall critique:
Readability index: 10.17 readers need a 10th grade level of education (a scale in which 4th-6th is simple, 6th-10th is good, and 10th-14th is complex)
Strength index: 0.00 (on a scale where 0 is weak and 1 is strong). The writing can be made more direct by using: shorter sentences, fewer weak phrases, more positive wording.
Descriptive index: 1.10 where 0 = terse and 1.1 = wordy. The writing style is overly descriptive. Many adjectives are being used.
Jargon index 0.00
No sentence structure recommendations.
Words to review
Negative words (N), jargon (J), words your reader may not understand (?)
Cannot (N), consecrated (?), detract(?), endure (J), fought (N), hallow (?), not (N), poor (N), vain (N), consecrate (?), dead (N), devotion (J), forget (N), fourscore (?), never (N), perish (N), struggled (N), war (N).
OK, it's a primitive program and you can see what it's thinking, but really! Strength index 0.0 where 0 is weak and 10 is strong. After all these years and countless exposure to the speech, I still can't read it aloud without choking up. In fact I choked up just now when I was mumbling it to myself checking Bob's version against the version in Goodwin.
If any of you has access to a modern program of this sort, I'd love to know what it makes of the speech.