I think most organized religions have two sides - the spiritual wrapped up in ceremony, prayer that can involve silence, meditation and contemplation all which touches some inner core of our being and then there is the political side that includes the rules and regs established to enable members to stay 'good' within, what their society determined was 'good' and to assist members into mindful spiritual behavior.
And, because there are 'members' just as in a family or any small group but especially, as the group becomes larger politics, control, power enter the picture - Either a group believes as Aristotle that punishment is how to control or as Aquinas who suggests love, as in putting honey on the carrot that is showing the group how well they can blend, lead and serve, which is determined by our need to be loved. If we are 'good' and if we can make others be 'good' then we believe we are more loveable within the group.
I see this enacted in families - I see differences in my own children and the basic philosophy they used as parents - one expected the highest application of their boys talents to go for the brass ring in sports and academics developing their ability to think through the best behavior - misbehavior was not the issue, it was 'what were you thinking - where was your brain' - the church they chose was an intellectual approach to God - while the other child, as a parent saw sports as a tool to develop skills and attitude but essentially the children were to figure out their life on their terms and learn how to adjust after making a choice that did not work out - when they were learning how to behave as youngsters, they were never scolded without being kissed on the head - the aspect of life they were urged to excel in was being the best brothers to each other and to making friends and they were brought up in a traditional Anglican church with an emphasis on ceremony and bible stories.
And yes, I put it down to sibling rivalry, they each comment, not accepting or understanding each other's parenting thinking their's is better - ah so and is it any different among some clergy that judge who is doing it right or the best and is it any different among members of churches who become more concerned with how right their fellow members are behaving - it is as if we are all co-dependent - unless you act as I understand and approve I cannot be right, which means I may not be loved by those in the congregation as well as, the biggie, God may not love me.
Because bottom line that is what it is all about - if I think, then I am loved - if I am a good brother and friend, I am loved - if I act as the group in the church suggest, I am loved - if I follow the rules and regs of the church or the government, I am loved and do not face being ostracized which in a judicial society means jail.
We can as Aristotle, who did not perceive God as the compassionate, he believes people are basically out for themselves and need to be punished into compliance or as Aquinas, when he was re-writing Aristotle given the message of Jesus that we can cajole good behavior with love appealing to their inner disposition for the common good and to address their fears.
Both attitudes seem to be alive and well and so the differences in how to be loveable are played out in just about every aspect of life, within the church and between church groups. I must admit when I became fearful for my children's ability to learn how to be loveable, Aristotle had my vote till they were older and punishment seemed over the top - but today, I realize how often I instinctively look at a punishment solution before I can see the humanity within someone who has hurt me or others.
As to a relationship with God, my best friend believes in, God will know her by her acts of Good Will where as my childhood was a training in God gave us everything including our ability to see where acts of Good Will are needed therefor, our relationship is based in a ceremony of adoration and an inner finding through contemplation, neither for my friend are the 'doing' she places as paramount to our purpose here on earth.
