Author Topic: Women's Issues  (Read 380220 times)

BarbStAubrey

  • BooksDL
  • Posts: 11341
  • Keep beauty alive...
    • Piled on Tables and Floors and Bureau Drawers
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #560 on: June 12, 2013, 01:23:27 PM »
Women's Issues
If Art imitates Life, what does Literature show about the place of women in our society? From the Red Tent to the new movie Anna Karenina,  to Malala Yousafzai in the news, has the state of women changed? What IS the state of women today, in your opinion?

Let's talk about how women are portrayed in the press, and in literature, and how accurate it is.   How does advertising reflect, if it does, how women are portrayed?  (Remember heels and pearls to sell refrigerators?)

How does it seem to you that women are portrayed today?

Let's talk
!



National Women's History Project
“A man should hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture every day of his life, in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God has implanted in the human soul.” ~ Goethe

BarbStAubrey

  • BooksDL
  • Posts: 11341
  • Keep beauty alive...
    • Piled on Tables and Floors and Bureau Drawers
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #561 on: June 12, 2013, 01:25:17 PM »
My only hope for immediate relief that may end up being the best protection is the day after pill is finally legal - I do understand Drug Stores can sell at their discretion but then for most there is always a nearby big box store. This will be far less expensive emotionally on women plus the low cost compared to all the tests they are wanting to set up before a women can even have an abortion - that is sick - there is enough trauma - as Joan Chittirster, a Benedictine Nun, says, "she never met a women having an abortion who did not need an abortion". 

I do not think these politicians think of what the consequences are to their hue and cry - they simply see it as a way to draw attention to themselves - our only hope is if women would band together and not vote these guys into office however, if you remember during the height of the woman's rights movement we had a large strong voice of women, I forget their leader's name, who wanted to keep things as they were. It is these Church leaders who have mesmerized women to their control.

What I never understood is if they want all these unwanted children than why do they cut back on free assistance - we recently read how even Finland has a policy where every mother pregnant receives from the government a large box containing a full layette.

I hear more women who feel as y'all but, evidently as many of us as there are, we cannot tip the scales. Frustrated to rage - my good friend who is now 94 is not only angry but becoming really depressed over this, knowing she is near the end of her life and there is such a strong voice not lifting up women.
“A man should hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture every day of his life, in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God has implanted in the human soul.” ~ Goethe

BarbStAubrey

  • BooksDL
  • Posts: 11341
  • Keep beauty alive...
    • Piled on Tables and Floors and Bureau Drawers
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #562 on: June 12, 2013, 01:45:03 PM »
email from my sister who is a philosopher and an ex-nun

Quote
'Morning
 
Here I am on computer even before breakfast. But I just opened my NYTimes to read the Senator Levin has stripped the provisions from the militarily appropriations bill that Senator Christine Gillibrand got into the bill to reduce/eliminate rape in the military
 
I am furious - an immediate gut reaction.  I feel like it is the '60s and trying to get local police forces to take rape seriously and our feeling that ''they just don't get it'.
 
Please - : Senator Levin is a democrat and democrats have depended on the votes of women.  It is time to stand up and let him/them know that ignoring rape in the military is not acceptable and that this IS important.  Heck if I expected that we would be ignored I would not have sent $$$ to elect democrats to the Senate last year.
 
Please contact his office and let him know that rape elimination should be in that bill, must be in the bill....that he is about to lose the support of women and those who respect women. NO ONE serving our country should have to endure rape by her own colleagues or superiors.
 
Contact Sen Carl Levin
Telephone  (202) 224-6221
email https://www.levin.senate.gov/contact/email/
 
Please also contact you own Senators [just google their names and you will get their Senate page with phone numbers. Let them know that we want action, strong action NOW.
 
And would you consider passing this post along to others who you think value women?
 
Kate
Kate Lindemann
“A man should hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture every day of his life, in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God has implanted in the human soul.” ~ Goethe

mabel1015j

  • Posts: 3656
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #563 on: June 12, 2013, 06:25:13 PM »
I'm there. It highly annoys me that some of our senators and congressman will ask for your zip codes when you send them an email and if you are not a constituent you can't contact them! I know they get loads of emails, but isn't that the point of a democracy, and the reason they have all those staff members!?!

Jean

nlhome

  • Posts: 984
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #564 on: June 12, 2013, 06:56:59 PM »
Jean, from my experience, they want your zip codes, but they really don't care anyway, because being a constituent isn't enough - you have to either agree with them or give them money for them to pay attention.

MaryPage

  • Posts: 3725
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #565 on: June 12, 2013, 08:17:42 PM »
Barbara, I feel exactly the same way your 94 year old friend does:  depressed that I am 84 and on my way out of this world and too old and frail to demonstrate any more and too poor to wave money and get attention.  Helpless to change one iota of a seemingly hopeless situation.

But gals, stupid idiots that these men are, why CAN'T we change things?  Look at the Math, for crying out loud.  There are heaps MORE of us than there are of them!

As for the chain of command thing, the male senators feel empathy and compassion for the dignity and self esteem of these guys "in the chain of command."  They think we want to take their authority away from them.  But we don't, EXCEPT in the case of sexual harassment and/or rape.  In those cases experience shows us all that there MUST be a different venue for these victims to run to.  Must.  And one of the biggest reasons is that they have just been raped by their commanding officer!!!!!  If not that, by one of his best buddies or service academy classmates or staff members or you name it.  Experience has proved over and over and over again that these victims can expect nothing but grief and endless emotional rape and the end of their careers if they even attempt that path.  It is the same thing if you get raped by a football or basketball or baseball player.  Woe unto you if you go to anyone remotely connected with that team to file a complaint!  The cover up is astounding!

"Poor Jim!  This could be the end of his career!  If that stupid bitch won't shut up and go away, we'll make her wish she'd never been born!"

Steph

  • Posts: 7952
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #566 on: June 13, 2013, 08:40:48 AM »
I think that the current crop of women simply do not believe any of it. That is sad. Politics has gotten so dreadful, that it seems irrelevant to many people.. Dinosaurs on the hoof, so to speak. I know how hard I worked way back when and at 75, I am so tired.. But I hope that women will take heart in that some of our new women legislaters are starting to fight back. The committee on the armed forces has alot of women involved, but the chairman is one of the worst dinosaurs.. He is leaving out something important and noone can stop him. Our congress has set up the stupidest rules favoring longevity.As far as I can see, noone should ever get to spend more than eight years in office.. then has to go out for at least 8 more years. But that will never happen with those old white men.
Stephanie and assorted corgi

maryz

  • Posts: 2356
    • Z's World
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #567 on: June 13, 2013, 08:43:16 AM »
This column by Frank Bruni was in the NYTimes on Tuesday, but printed in our paper this morning.  Very timely to this conversation.

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/11/opinion/bruni-sexisms-puzzling-stamina.html?ref=frankbruni&_r=0
"When someone you love dies, you never quite get over it.  You just learn how to go on without them. But always keep them safely tucked in your heart."

mabel1015j

  • Posts: 3656
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #568 on: June 13, 2013, 09:01:31 AM »
Do you think that since we all lived through what i think most of us here would consider the "hopeful years" of the 60's and 70's that we are therefore depressed by the loss of continuing progressivism? I frequently told my students that i and many of my friends in 1970 were expecting that by the year 2000 we would have equality, no poverty, a safe environment, good education for everybody, maybe even peace throughout the world! We were young, idealistic, saw things moving in the right directions and expected that events would keep us moving in that direction. Then in the 70's the conservative movement quietly began to come into power........(Barb were you thinking of Phyllis Shafely?) and altho we have had significant advances in all those areas, it seems like the dinosaurs keep popping up and we need to diligently "whack-a-mole" them. :)

It can be frustrating and even depressing, but i take heart that i keep seeing liberals and progressives fighting the good fight to whack the moles. The 2 elections of Obama gave me great encouragement that most of the country's people are sane, rational, caring human beings and these dinosaurs are just getting media attention because of the 24/7 news channels. I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing. They are being shown as idiots immediately, but it makes it look as though they have a lot more power and influence than i think they do, and therefore much of the populace is losing faith in the gov't and society. But then i see others challenging them immediately, unlike when McCarthy was first sprewing forth his lies and venom. That is heartening.

MaryPage

  • Posts: 3725
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #569 on: June 13, 2013, 02:03:22 PM »
Thank you, MaryZ, for that piece in the New York Times.  I have printed it out.  My husband was like that:  he not only believed women should be equal under the law, but he believed us to be superior to the male sex!

I tend to believe we have always let the males shoot off their mouths with stupid remarks that show how ignorant of women and women's bodily functions and women's brains and abilities they are because we dislike confrontation and disagreeableness in general.  Busy with all of our chores, we dismissed their behavior as just being boy stuff, not paying attention to how dangerous it would become for us.

Yes, it was during the nineteen seventies that fundamentalist Christianity began to practice politics and to plot and plan to put people in office who would pass legislation that would put women in legal balls and chains in an effort to bar them from further participation in running our society.  My first hand experience with this was a factor in my leaving the Republican party, which I had been a avid worker in all of my life up to 1980, and in my ability to see the parallels with fundamentalist Islam and connect the dots in the shared male attitudes of the chauvinists in those two world religions.

BarbStAubrey

  • BooksDL
  • Posts: 11341
  • Keep beauty alive...
    • Piled on Tables and Floors and Bureau Drawers
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #570 on: June 13, 2013, 02:31:04 PM »
Yes, Phyllis Shafely - had a post from my heart and whatever is going on with this new keyboard when I use my right hand to hit Shift something happens and I loose everything I wrote. I have just scotch taped several nearby keys hoping i can figure out what it is I hit with my pinky finger because I cannot figure out how to bring back not only a post but anything I write on this computer. grrrr. Not going to re-create my lost post now - till later...
“A man should hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture every day of his life, in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God has implanted in the human soul.” ~ Goethe

Steph

  • Posts: 7952
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #571 on: June 14, 2013, 08:32:38 AM »
I think of late 60's and early 70's as the period of storms and fury. Viet Nam for me was a wateshed on how our politicians and military just love to send off the young to war and stay home and posture on how brave they are. It made me lose faith in politics in general and religion in particular.
Stephanie and assorted corgi

mabel1015j

  • Posts: 3656
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #572 on: June 14, 2013, 09:13:47 PM »
Yes Steph, the late 60's and 70's had a lot of turmoil, but i saw it as turmoil that was questioning the establishment and the war and i felt that most of the activists were filled with good intentions. Yes, there were extremists, as there always are when things are changing, but i was optimistic that the good will would win out in the end. Such idealism.

I still think that most of the activists were on the right track and many good things happened. Today i have less faith in humanity to be mostly on the beneficial track, but i stop myself and remind myself that what makes the news is the corruptness, the greed, the lies, the self-aggrandisement and i think of the many good things that i have also heard about happening, but are not making the topics of the talking heads everyday.

I've started to write a blog about twice a month. It will be about a lot of my interests, but mostly about women's issues. If any of you would like to see it or follow it, here's a link.

http://womanstorybyjeanp.blogspot.com/

jane

  • Administrator
  • Posts: 13088
  • Registrar for SL's Latin ..... living in NE Iowa
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #573 on: June 14, 2013, 10:16:31 PM »
I guess I have a different perspective on the late 60s and early 70s.  I was teaching in a high school of 2,000 in the late 60s and the turmoil in the high school after the assassination of Martin Luther King was horrible.  The principal's home was fire bombed, the school was closed for 3 days because of the rioting in a town of about 40,000.  I left teaching and went to the Univ. of Illinois to Grad School.  The activists from Berkeley and wherever came in and removed drawers of catalog cards from the large University Library and attempted to set them on fire.  They interrupted the research of a lot of grad students who turned against the activists.  Retired librarians in the Champaign-Urbana area spent many volunteer hours trying to reconstruct what was damaged.  Many of the cards, thankfully, didn't burn completely because they were so compacted together when the drawers were emptied.   The building in which I lived was a grad dorm...and the doors started to be locked at night so people  didn't come in and start fires or leave bombs.

You may recall there was a grad student killed in the bombing of a chemistry building, I believe it was, at the Univ. of Wisconsin, Madison.

I got my degree in 1969 and went on the Univ. of Iowa as a staff librarian.  Bomb threats were called in there in the early 70s, and we had to evacuate the building in which I worked more than once.  Grad students were on "fire patrol"....making hourly trips through the building, checking for any signs of fires set.  

So...I'm not very sympathetic to the actions by the activists during that period of time.

jane

maryz

  • Posts: 2356
    • Z's World
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #574 on: June 14, 2013, 11:19:58 PM »
Thanks for the link to your blog, jean.  I've put it on my blog reader.

jane, you really had some up-close-and-personal experiences during the upheavals of that time.
"When someone you love dies, you never quite get over it.  You just learn how to go on without them. But always keep them safely tucked in your heart."

Steph

  • Posts: 7952
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #575 on: June 15, 2013, 08:33:21 AM »
I was a young mother during the 60's and my experiences were of marching and the becoming a conviction quaker and helping counsel young males who were in line for the draft, etc. They were so afraid and invariably poor or lower middle class.. They wanted to live just as much as college students did. I also belonged to an organization I had not thought of for years.. "WAR IS NOT HEALTHY FOR CHILDREN AND OTHER LIVING THINGS".. Oh me, I have a pin somewhere and we marched in Philly several times.
Stephanie and assorted corgi

nlhome

  • Posts: 984
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #576 on: June 15, 2013, 09:01:26 AM »
I was in college, and my husband was in the military toward the end of the 60's. I participated in some peaceful protests, nothing that was destructive or violent. I missed one significant protest, one where a roommate spoke, because I was helping a friend buy her wedding dress so she could get married when her fiance was home on leave - he had thought he was going to Vietnam but he ended up a medic in Germany. Meanwhile, my husband did go to Vietnam, and while I was against the war, then it became personal and I was so occupied with school and work and money and worry that the protests became part of the background, not something I could participate in actively.

jane

  • Administrator
  • Posts: 13088
  • Registrar for SL's Latin ..... living in NE Iowa
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #577 on: June 15, 2013, 10:10:20 AM »
nlhome: Your mention of your husband being in VietNam while you were a student reminded me of a gal on my floor in the Grad dorm.  Her husband, too, was in 'Nam, and they'd sold their house, their furniture, everything they had and they'd decided she'd go to Grad School with the money they had to get her Masters so she wouldn't have a lot to cope with (house, furniture, etc.) should he not return.   She did get her MS and her husband did come home and they then moved to a place where she could work while he got his degree. 

jane

nlhome

  • Posts: 984
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #578 on: June 15, 2013, 10:22:15 AM »
Yes, I finished with my BS and then moved out to CA after he came back from Vietnam; he will always be grateful to President Nixon, logical or not, because he got out of his enlistment a few months early and thus was spared the return to Vietnam that he was scheduled to make. He came home to finish college and get his MS, while I worked. The good thing - the GI bill; the bad things - memories, residual medical issues. He was not pleased when one of our sons chose to enter the military.

JoanK

  • BooksDL
  • Posts: 8685
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #579 on: June 15, 2013, 05:22:53 PM »
I was living in Brooklyn in the 60s, was active in Brooklyn CORE (Congress of Racial Equality), and was in many protests (and under some danger from those who wished to stop us). I moved to Israel. but when I was back in the 70s I was very active in my local NOW chapter. All of the things I participated in were non-violent (on our side at least), in fact, we had to learn to react non-violently.

We did indeed have great hopes for the future. And there has been some progress -- it's a glass is half full and half empty kind of thing. Coming from my past, I delight in seeing women in positions they had no hope of holding when I was young. And yet, the sexism that continues is horrifying.

Steph

  • Posts: 7952
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #580 on: June 16, 2013, 09:34:07 AM »
That brought back memories in how to protect non violently. A whole day devoted to this all those years ago. Amazing how a sentence can bring back such memories..
Stephanie and assorted corgi

mabel1015j

  • Posts: 3656
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #581 on: June 17, 2013, 12:45:34 PM »
I just read a fascinating discussion on Ms Blog. Ms Magazine put Beyonce on their cover recently and in the article she talked about her "fierce feminism." The author on the blog aligned the controversary that was generated in Ms as to whether Beyonce's persona is "feminist" and is there a different judgement about "white feminists" and "feminists of color." i didn't agree with a lot of what the author alleged, but it generated a fabulous discussion about what is feminist and how we judge sexiness - are we all brainwashed into thinking that what is sexy is what has been generated thru the centuries as sexy by men? Can we unhook our brains from that patriarchal attitude?

I have a very conflicted attitude about six inch heels - the response by women who wear them is always "they make me look sexy"; short, spandex dresses that emphasize curves and get close to showing the woman's crotch to the world; Brazilian waxes, and any other dress that is obviously uncomfortable, but considered attractive and sexy (by men's evaluation?) I'm conflicted because i think as a feminist that women should dress the way they want! But! My next thought is are they dressing that way to please themselves -who would try to wear 6inch heels that are going to hurt all evening and kill my back and hips for decades to come - or to please the men they will come in contact with, whether consciously or sub-consciously?

In any case the blog generated a fabulous discussion. It's long and it took me two returns to it to read all the replys, but thought some of you may enjoy the discussion. Actually IMO the best, most thoughtful comments, are near the bottom, or most recent replies.

http://msmagazine.com/blog/2013/06/10/policing-feminism-regulating-the-bodies-of-women-of-color/

MaryPage

  • Posts: 3725
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #582 on: June 17, 2013, 02:19:15 PM »
I get angry at girls and women who do things to themselves "to make them look better or to look sexy" if and when those things they do hurt their bodies.  Do harm to themselves.
I refer most especially to those heels.  I know from bitter experience.  I was born with a shoe fetish and an underwear fetish.  And earrings.  Those are the 3 items I have had a passion for (personal attire wise), and I had a shoe collection to shame me.  Underwear?  I liked Dior in pale peach tones with ecru lace;  that sort of thing.  It would please me to know that with my quite ordinary outfits, I was richly lush underneath and my shoes were precious (way back before there were "name" brands), and my earrings were just right.  All three of these things made me feel feminine and sexy like a female leopard, if you will.  I was not making any attempt to look sexy to males, but just to FEEL sexy.
Then came the lower back pain that immobilized me.  I could not move without wanting to scream at the top of my lungs.  My nurse (this was 1987) daughter hauled me to an orthopedic surgeon.  They made a special plastic girdle to fit around my hips and abdomen.  They put a heavy piece of plywood on my mattress under the sheet.  I could barely sit down upon and get up from a hard chair;  anything upholstered was flat out impossible.  The surgeon, a woman, told me this was all due to the heels I wore all the time, and to throw them out and wear NIKE air shoes for walking, or the equivalent, all the time, with pretty flats for dress up.
I followed her orders.  It was SO painful to throw out some of those gorgeous shoes.  I did it.  After some weeks, the pain went away.  It has never, ever come back.
In my old age, I have given up the underwear thing.  I wear all white, all cotton panties that come almost to my knee.  My granddaughters fall on the floor in heaps laughing.  I tell them I have never worn a thong in my life, and they roll their eyes.  I am still into earrings.
And I get mad, really burned to a crisp, when I see my sisters of any age ruining their health with those damn heels.  Shoes no foot should EVER be inserted in!


BarbStAubrey

  • BooksDL
  • Posts: 11341
  • Keep beauty alive...
    • Piled on Tables and Floors and Bureau Drawers
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #583 on: June 17, 2013, 02:42:59 PM »
I remember my days of 6" heals - mostly in my late 40s and most of my 50s - In my 20s and 30s I was too busy raising my children and being active with Girl Scouting where flats were more appropriate - During my 6" heal days I was feeling great making good money. I do not remember feeling especially sexy as much as just feeling great about myself feeling that I was on top of it and in control of my life. Presenting myself with that look gave me such a feeling of confidence -

To some that may be sexy or to others feeling their sexiness may be empowering but I do not think it has much to do with pleasing guys - oh it is nice to see guys heads turn but for many it is feeling you are a winner and it is about time we include our sexiness as part of what makes us whole women. In my job we certainly were not trying to feel sexy with our clients and some of us were in offices that were 90% women. Granted Sex in the City was about women's friendship but it was about younger women when attracting a man is biologically their epic center however, for women that feeling expressed in that show when all the girls were together at a restaurant and caring for each other and all looking great wearing their 6" heals is a feeling that can continue till all of a sudden in your late 50s the heals are too much for the ankle and balls of the feet to handle and the heals get lower.

Granted there are not many women fashion designers but shopping I do not think we choose because the shoe or article of clothing was designed by a women or a man. We just want to look great. Not because of a fashion magazine which most of us stopped buying when we were pregnant with our first baby but choosing from what is available we know when we look good - we tried things on and even returned a couple - not because we wanted to feel sexy, only because we wanted to look good and feel great and we knew what design of shoes and clothing would accomplish that.
  
I do not know if it would be considered sexy at my age - when I feel like I look more like a turtle however, I sure notice the difference in how i am treated if I go to the store without makeup and without a coordinated outfit - does not take two minutes to choose a Tshirt that matches or accentuates a long pair of pants with matching flats and to slip a simple necklace and if it is not too hot a long sleeve cotton or silk big shirt as a jacket to accentuate the long line look. I have run to the store in my jeans and house wearing Tshirt and am treated as if I am that turtle that is too slow and in the way by women as well as men including the cashier.

Personally I think that the fuss over how a young women dresses borders on if she should appear sexy in public with the underground warning that is at the bottom of that, still being thought as the cause of rape or that women are baby machines to men and therefore, they are not allowed to give off vibes of their sexiness because it may influence someone else to do the same and lo unto them the risk.

I think we would be better off having public discussions about the cause of rape and what it is in a man that makes him feel this expression of his power is not a national crime of terror that we as a nation do not prosecute him as a terrorist. Rapists have sure terrorized women over they years as to how they should dress and act that denies they are sexual. If we saw as many articles in the media about the causes of rape and about the respect of and to a women's body but we do not even see that respect among many of our politicians.

When Go Men's Fashion magazine features a sexy man showing his abs in a bathing suit no one thinks he is at risk for someone jumping his bones.
When we see the ad for Dos Equis Beer Commercials we wish all the older guys we know would clean up their act and dress with style.
http://domusvitae.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/dos_equis_most_interesting_man.jpg
When we see a photo of the still working model Carmen Dell'Orefice, who turned 80 last year we can look at ourselves and clean up our own act.
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/06/04/article-1394174-0C65F28600000578-21_306x498.jpg
“A man should hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture every day of his life, in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God has implanted in the human soul.” ~ Goethe

BarbStAubrey

  • BooksDL
  • Posts: 11341
  • Keep beauty alive...
    • Piled on Tables and Floors and Bureau Drawers
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #584 on: June 17, 2013, 02:59:22 PM »
MaryPage this article may be on interest - all of us as we age the channel in our backbone narrows with less room for our entire nerves system so that it is easy when we are older to bruise or pinch a nerve that causes much of our back pain. My son is going through it now at age 54 and he never wore high heals - I finally succumbed after a fall where one leg went into a deep hole not seen since the grass was all the same height and after healing for nearly a year went to a chiropractor who did not, as I did not understand the aging body and he injured me further - only going to the Seton Hospital Spine & Scoliosis Center did I learn about what happens to our back as we age.http://www.setonspineandscoliosis.com/about_us/physician_bios.html
“A man should hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture every day of his life, in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God has implanted in the human soul.” ~ Goethe

Steph

  • Posts: 7952
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #585 on: June 18, 2013, 08:30:53 AM »
Breaking both of my ankles made me give up heels in my early 50's. I did love them so. I dont think for sexy, but I am short and I felt like the heels made me more equal with the world. Like Mary Page, I adored earrings and sexy underwear. I became allergic however to anything touching my skin that had too much other material besides cotten, so my underwear and nighties are very boring white.. No lipstick either, since something in it causes me to break out. Sigh.. But like Barb, I dress well with limits. I may wear shorts of crops, but my tops match or look good with.. I know several of my friends, who consider me "fussy", but it makes my heart be content, when I feel I look like what he liked me to look.
Stephanie and assorted corgi

mabel1015j

  • Posts: 3656
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #586 on: June 18, 2013, 11:19:43 AM »
Thanks for those links Barbara. I'v had almost a year of back and stomach pain from a herniated disk and my DIL, who works for the imaging company, just brought me a report of the MRI i had. Of course i understood about 20% of it :) but the one word i did understand that no one had mentioned before was stenosis. The exercises that the PT has had me do is aggravating my hip, so we're going to have a talk about that today. I look forward to reading about the exercises the docs in your link recommend.

I have always dressed for comfort, but with style, i think. In my pre-sixty years i wore 2and 3 inch heels, largely because society said that was being "dressed up." in the last 10 yrs i've worn only a few times a peek-toe 2inch wedge, but most often i wear a nice flat with nice slacks and a jacket as my dress-up clothes. Of course in my young years i shaved my legs, probably the most uncomfortable thing i did. I wear lipstick and a little eye liner when i'm going out. But i just can't imagine wearing clothes that would make me as uncomfortable as many women look today. One of the Tony Award winners said to the interviewer right after she won "i'm only nervous about my boobs staying in place." and well she should have, bcs they were very close to popping out of her halter top dress. Now, with just an inch or so more material she would have looked just as nice and not have the anxiety of showing her boobs to the world, why would you do that to yourself, what was her motivation is, i guess,  the feminist question.

Oh yes, i have gotten my hair permed at least once a year ever since i was about 12 yrs old. As an adult with short hair (easy to take care of)  it's been about 3x a year. That's strictly for my own satisfaction - i think - if my hair doesn't look good, to me, i don't feel good. Lord knows what it does to my brain, otherwise, it's not a bad ordeal to have it done, except for the odor - you would think by 2013 they would have figured out how to make perms smell better. :)

Jean

MaryPage

  • Posts: 3725
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #587 on: June 19, 2013, 06:33:02 AM »
I don't get perms or color or have my nails lacquered because I worry about all of those chemicals, every one of them toxic, being taken into my system through my skin and my nostrils.  I think one day we will be amazed that we women ever put ourselves willingly in the dangers they pose us.

Oh, I am almost speechless at the House Republicans insisting upon pandering to their base and passing that dreadful bill against women's health and reproductive choices.  Anyone who doubts there is a War On Women must be tottering on the brink of senility, even when it is led by a woman who has obviously been brainwashed into believing theirs is the "correct Science," albeit the American Medical Society and the Association of OB/GYNS says it's all wrong. Foetuses masterbating in the womb, indeed!  And since they feel that pleasure, it just stands to reason they feel pain, as well!  

And people actually elected that pinhead to Congress?  Heaven Help Us, for we are surely doomed!

Steph

  • Posts: 7952
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #588 on: June 19, 2013, 09:00:19 AM »
I used to frost my hair until nature decided to do it. Wear a bit of blush upon occasion since I am very pale..I do note that women who dye their hair, as they get older, the blonde and reds get brassier. I read up and realize that our eye sight does that to us. We think that things are darker or milder than they are..So I will stay away from any more frosting etc.
Stephanie and assorted corgi

JoanK

  • BooksDL
  • Posts: 8685
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #589 on: June 19, 2013, 06:02:40 PM »
When I was young, hypoallergenic makeup was unknown. I didn't know either, just knew that when I wore makeup, I felt nausious all the time. my friends told me, "Oh, you have to wear at least lipstick, or you'll never get a husband. So I did, until the day after I got engaged. I asked Dick "Do you mind if I stop wearing lipstick?" He said "Huh? It would be great: I wouldn't get it on me when we kiss." That was the last time I wore lipstick.

The marraige lasted 50 years, so the role of lipstick in holding marraiges together has been exaggerated. There was a time in the 70s when I realized that some people thought I was gay, because I didn't wear lipstick. But as long as my husband knew better, what did I care.

Steph

  • Posts: 7952
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #590 on: June 20, 2013, 08:42:25 AM »
I love that. My husband was not overfond of heavy makeup and would comment on it when we were someone who overdid. His Mother was passionate about dark red lipstick and constantly redid her lipstick after eating or drinking.. Had a little mirror attached to her lipstick. He hated it and asked me to never ever do that.. Since I cant wear lipstick without suffering , I gladly did not wear it.
Stephanie and assorted corgi

MaryPage

  • Posts: 3725
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #591 on: June 20, 2013, 11:35:02 AM »
Lipstick is the ONLY type of makeup I ever wear.  Ever have worn.  I do not want, and have never wanted, to mess with my eyes by putting all that stuff around them.  I have never worn lipstick unless I was going out, and these days I don't even wear it then.  The only time I bother now is if it is a very special occasion for someone, and I want to show them I have made an effort to look nice for their big event.
My dermatologist tells me, and her nurse does too, every single year, and year after year, that I have the best skin for my age she has ever seen.  They have ever seen.  They call it amazing.  Makeup ages the skin.  So does the sun.  I have never worn makeup or done a speck of sun bathing.  I avoid the sun as much as possible.

BarbStAubrey

  • BooksDL
  • Posts: 11341
  • Keep beauty alive...
    • Piled on Tables and Floors and Bureau Drawers
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #592 on: June 20, 2013, 02:07:44 PM »
finding the best way to treat our skin is an effort isn't it - some use little and I have found after a liberal use of moisturizer if I do not wear foundation makeup the sun does awful things to my face - I soon learned I had to wear sunscreen on my left hand and when my arm is exposed while I drive - before long without sunscreen even in winter I look like my left arm and hand belongs to someone else - I actually ended up with pealing

I used to have trouble wearing makeup because of allergies and so in my younger years I switched to Almay and then in the late 70s I switched to Clinique with good results. I no longer use as much makeup but foundation for sure unless I want a sunburned face that turns to leather - my eyebrows are getting spotty white so I use a bit of grey pencil, some blush and light color lipstick with a lip liner -  if I am dressing like going out to dinner or to the symphony or even church and big meetings I use a some pale eye shadow - it brightens the area under my brows

Rather than slathering on moisturizer cream which now is getting so expensive I recently found Coconut oil does a wonderful job at about a tenth of the price. My arms actually look better like there is some life under the skin again.

My hair is going through an awful state - do not want to get back to a regular beauty parlor schedule but it really could use a bit of color - it is sorta pepper and salt but since my hair was not that dark and the white is in patches and streaks it looks like I have a spotted white leopard draped on my head. I want to find a rinse that really works because I do not want all the chemicals nor put up with that smell - I always ended up with a three day headache when I used to have perms. Stopped doing that about 20 years ago. For awhile I pulled it back with those bows on clips and later I have a collection of hair picks and I use various twists held with the picks. Easy and for me the best my hair is out of my face - never liked hair wisping on my face.

Notice with more and more of my neighbors aging when I see them at our grocery they really look smart - most can get away with narrow leg pants and a couple never stopped doing their ballet routine since they were kids and wow talk about posture and the look of stand tall confidence - I admire it but it will never be for me because it takes years and years of that kind of body work to achieve the look. That has always been the hardest task that I just never have been able to stick to a regular schedule and that is any kind of exercise or even a daily walk - I browbeat myself and get out for a walk that lasts for maybe 5 weeks than other things seem more important and once the routine is broken I just cannot get back nor frankly do I try - while it is light so late and nothing on TV and the news is same old same old this would be a great time to start again - I will not think long term - if I can just walk summer evenings that would be a step in the right direction.
“A man should hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture every day of his life, in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God has implanted in the human soul.” ~ Goethe

Steph

  • Posts: 7952
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #593 on: June 21, 2013, 08:43:18 AM »
I grew up at the beach and then raced sailboats for many years, so my skin is not perfect by any means. I use a lot of sun screen and moisture creams, but as a blue eyed blonde, I am tickled to say that my dermotologists tells me I have wonderful skin for 75 and to keep up the good work.. So even though I admit to tanning until my 40's.. my very oily skin has kept its elasticity.
Stephanie and assorted corgi

JeanneP

  • Posts: 1231
  • Sept 2013
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #594 on: June 22, 2013, 06:56:21 PM »
Jane.  I have lived here in C/ U since 64 still only a mile or 2 from campus . Never did see much going on.back.then.  Once in awhile some one would come in and try to start some thing. students would get together a crowd behind the Union building voicing complaints.  They didn't do damage or caused the problems we have these days.  Most of it from gangs coming in from Chicago. They were talking of shutting down the Univ.police dept 2years ago but seems changed minds.  The do a pretty good job but it has cost millions last few years from being sued for beating up students without cause.
You were here when the big complaints were that the students did not bath,smelled and dressed awful.  I do remember the fuss about that. Said it was the ex Vietmen and wanted them all removed. That was a funny time.  The say now over 30 pct of over 5 year students are from out of the USA. Very intL area now as 60 pct. of dr.and tech.are  Asian most with families.  I like it here.

jane

  • Administrator
  • Posts: 13088
  • Registrar for SL's Latin ..... living in NE Iowa
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #595 on: June 22, 2013, 10:04:43 PM »
Jeanne...I was there in 68-69.  Believe me the problems on campus were not about how students dressed or that they smelled.  Don't you recall the problems by the groups at that time believed to be from Berkeley that destroyed drawers of catalog cards in the Main Library?  All the other major research libraries started microfilming (new and fairly expensive in those days) their card catalogs so they'd have backups if this violence came to their campuses.  I was in Library  and Information Science grad school so was very interested in this damage.

Apparently a book has been written which mentions this destruction.  

books.google.com/books?isbn=0252028295
Joy Ann Williamson - 2003 - Education
The University of Illinois, 1965-75 Joy Ann Williamson ... vandals removed and burned thousands of card catalogs from the university library. University officials estimated it would take years and tens of thousands of dollars to replace the cards.


I was not there in 1965-66 nor after I got my degree in 1969, but I know what happened while I was there.

Steph

  • Posts: 7952
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #596 on: June 23, 2013, 09:25:21 AM »
The 60's and Viet Nam caused so many long term problems on campus.. and just ordinary life. I know that some of my neighbors were outraged that we were against the war and refused to even speak to us or let their children play with ours.. Sigh.
Stephanie and assorted corgi

MaryPage

  • Posts: 3725
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #597 on: June 23, 2013, 09:44:19 AM »
I have never in all of my long years been able to figure out why such a large segment of mindsets are convinced to the last brain wire that a human being who feels it is a mistake for this country to take on the stupendous investment of the lives of our children and the wealth of our nation to engage in a war elsewhere on the globe in which indigenous peoples have been fighting one another, but have not attacked the United States of America, is a traitor to our nation and not a Patriot!  Yet those who are gung ho that we must take on a given war (supposedly in order to stop Communism, which is Satan personified and should take top priority over any and all other considerations in our lives in the case of Viet Nam, or oil or water or fishing, and always money) immediately take the strong stance that everyone else must be with THEM or be branded traitors to their very own country and birthplace!  Give me a BREAK!  But this has been and is and most likely will continue to be the way it is.

I think our species just may have evolved into irrational thinking and insanity.  I swear.  I do.

Steph

  • Posts: 7952
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #598 on: June 25, 2013, 09:16:09 AM »
Viet Nam always baffled me. We honestly did not have a dog in that hunt as they say in the south. We just sort of stumbled in for no good reason. Sigh.
Stephanie and assorted corgi

mabel1015j

  • Posts: 3656
Re: Women's Issues
« Reply #599 on: June 26, 2013, 07:47:54 PM »
The History News Network newsletter today had a headline for an article "Yes, Paula Dean is a Racist, but It's Not Like She Repealed the Voting Rights Act." The subtle, sophisticated racists/sexists can do much more harm then some of the more obvious ones. We can't let the media direct our attention, we have to stay vigilant.