As I read through your questions and your posts, I can't help but think of what this story would have been without the memoirs and now the letters from Elizabeth Ephrussi to her family after the war came to a close. I am thinking of how few letters I write to my own family these days. Everything is email. On the occasions I do write with pen and paper, I find it difficult now...the mistakes I make that need do-overs - either that or cross out, which I refuse to do. I find I'm typing up my letters on the computer - and then copying them on to paper. (Quicker to email what I have typed.)
"I am not sure how the Jewish people, especially those immediately affected by the Holocaust handle it and go on." Barbara, as you say, the response to unimaginable loss and abuse will vary. My heart goes out to you. You're right. Somehow you go on the best you can. De Waal had his grandmother's letters which described how each member of the Ephrussi family coped with their loss.
"Soon I will die. I'd rather die here, surrounded by the familiar than in a strange land surrounded by the unknown." Jude, Viktor Ephrussi got his wish - did not live long in the strange land of England...but the rest of the family seemed to get on, reinventing their lives, didn't they? (With the exception of Emmy, that is.)
"...at the beginning detailing all the THINGS that were destroyed, and I was thinking "never mind the things: what about the people?" Dare I say, JoanK, de Waal doesn't address your question, as much as he concentrates on the loss of THINGS. Am I missing something?
In one of her letters, Elizabeth Ephrussi detailed a return to her "emptied home" in Vienna in 1945. Did you notice that the lacquered vitrine was still there where it had always been? - emptied of course. And Anna had spent the occupation - and the war - in the Palais!
The question in my mind - what did she intend to do with the netsuke collection, had Elizabeth not returned? Or was there no question in her mind that the family would return as soon as it was safe again?