Something to lighten your day from The Comic English Grammar: A New And Facetious Introduction to the English Tongue, by Percival Leigh with illustrations by the famed John Leech(1845).
A, was Apollo, the god of the carol,
B, stood for Bacchus, astride on his barrel;
C, for good Ceres, the goddess of grist,
D, was Diana, that wouldn't be kiss'd;
E, was nymph Echo, that pined to a sound,
F, was sweet Flora, with buttercups crown'd;
G, was Jove's pot-boy, young Ganymede hight,
H, was fair Hebe, his barmaid so tight;
I, little Io, turn'd into a cow,
J, jealous Juno, that spiteful old sow;
K, was Kitty, more lovely than goddess or muse;
L, Lacooon—I wouldn't have been in his shoes!
M, was blue-eyed Minerva, with stockings to match,
N, was Nestor, with grey beard and silvery thatch;
O, was lofty Olympus, King Jupiter's shop,
P, Parnassus, Apollo hung out on its top;
Q, stood for Quirites, the Romans, to wit;
R, for rantipole Roscius, that made such a hit;
S, for Sappho, so famous for felo-de-se,
T, for Thales the wise, F. R. S. and M. D:
U, was crafty Ulysses, so artful a dodger,
V, was hop-a-kick Vulcan, that limping old codger;
Wenus-Venus I mean-with a W begins,
(Veil, if I ham a Cockney, wot need of your grins?)
X, was Xantippe, the scratch-cat and shrew,
Y, I don't know what Y was, whack me if I do!
Z was Zeno the Stoic, Zenobia the clever,
And Zoilus the critic, whose fame lasts forever.
Also found on Project Gutenberg, this morning, The Comic History of England by À Beckett, Gilbert Abbott. Illustrations also by John Leech (1894).