End of Your Life Book Club, The ~ by William Schwalbe - March Book Club Online

[JoanP]

The Book Club Online is  the oldest  book club on the Internet, begun in 1996, open to everyone.  We offer cordial discussions of one book a month,  24/7 and  enjoy the company of readers from all over the world.  Everyone is welcome.

The End of Your Life Book Club
Will Schwalbe

“That’s one of the things that books do. They help us talk. But they also give us something we all can talk about when we don’t want to talk about ourselves. ”Will Schwalbe In The End of Your Life Book Club, Will and Mary Anne Schwalbe share their hopes and concerns with each other—and rediscover their lives—through their favorite books. Afghanistan Center at Kabul University Mary Anne Schwalbe

Discussion Schedule:
March 1 - 8 --  to page 83 (end of The Hobbit)
March 9 - 15 -- to page 169 (end of The Painted Veil)
March 16 - 22 -- to page 249 (end of Girls Like Us)
March 23 - 31 -- to page 329 (finish)

For Your Consideration
March 23 - 31 -- to page 329 (finish]

To think of throughout: When he describes a book, have you read it?  If yes, how does your take on the book compare with his?  If no, does this make you want to read it?

1.  If Will hadn't known that there was little time left in which his mother could see the results, do you think Will would have quit his job and started his website?

2.  When they see an apartment, Will and Mary Anne imagine how they would live in it.  Do you do that?

3.  Although momentarily dismayed, the Schwalbes accept Will's gayness (and later that of his sister) with love and support.  How would you feel in such a situation?

4.  Christopher Isherwood's Christopher and His Kind helped Will make sense of his life.  What books have done that for you?

5.  "Everyone doesn't have to do everything" Mary Ann says of her lack of creativity.  Where do you concentrate your efforts?

Windup: What will you bring away from this book--books to  read, things learned, resolutions made, ways of looking at things, etc?


 

Related Links::Pre-Discussion Comments; Will Schwalbe Interview; Women's Refugee Commission

DISCUSSION LEADERS: Pedln &  PatH

[JoanP]

A quick question - does anyone remember the reason Mary Anne wants Will to stick with Thomas Mann's Joseph and His Brothers?  Was it along the same line as the jealous elder brother of the prodigal - Joseph's jealous brothers and their resentment because his father loved him more?  How does this fit?  Is Mom trying to assuage Will's feelings in some way?

Last night I finished Mann's Death in Venice.  That is one strange book - and I'm not exactly sure what happened at the end, except that the old man died.  Has anyone read it?  What happened to the young boy?  If you don't know - or don't want to give that away, can you explain the message, the meaning of the story?

[PatH]

I don't open many appeals either, but they aren't from nuns in Thailand; they're all known quantities.  At intervals I contribute to the same few.

The only Thomas Mann I've read is Buddenbrooks.  It's long, but I read it straight through in about two days.  It's about the decline of a family of German merchants over several generations in the 1800s, and a picture of the society.  The characters have leitmotifs, as though they were in a Wagnerian opera.  I've tried to read The Confessions of Felix Krull, Confidence Trickster, but I dislike the main character too much to get into it.

[pedln]

That's good news about Ella and her surgery.  I hope we'll see her here soon.

Jean, it’s good to see you here.  And we’re always happy to hear what you have to say because it’s always something worth hearing.  I doubt very much that you’d be a downer.  Just out of curiosity, what are the books that made the cut to your TBR list?  I hope at some time to read some of Josephine Tey and John O’Hara, authors mentioned early on, and perhaps dip into some of the suggested short stories.,

Mary Anne’s life certainly is overwhelming, but I think that we have seen certain aspects of her life show up in others, even though most would not follow the paths she has taken.

There have been actions that i've taken in my life that others have said "you do that so well", or "i couldn't do that, you're brave to do that." To me it just seemed like the thing to do, or i think that when we have talent for some tasks, it doesn't seem so difficult or brave to do them.

  (Jean)

And that demonstrates a trait of Mary Anne’s that has come up more than once. When something needs to be done, and she thinks she can do it, she does it, without fanfare and what-have-you. “No, sometimes I don’t [want to meet people], but it’s not very hard to make yourself.”


Many have said, “oh, that book sounds so depressing,” and I agree that it can be sad.  But I think that Will has done well in keeping the sad things, the bad things, at bay. They’re there, but are kind of a backdrop – “On, not so good today.” but then goes on to tell about family plans and what others are doing. 

This isn’t a defense of the book as it doesn’t need it. In some ways Mary Anne is a role model.  It’s just opinion, but I think this is a wonderful book for young women to read because it portrays a strong woman who, without fanfare, accomplished much in her life. And there are  lessons to be learned here. I must recommend it to my recent college grad granddaughter, starting her adult working life with a consulting firm, currently working with a humanitarian foundation.

Re: Will. 

I find it amazing how he walks the fine edge dividing celebration and sorrow, between fond memory and gloomy prospect.

How true, and you say it so well, Jonathan.

A close, tight-knit devoted family, friends - (maybe too many friends?) - her yoga, mindfulness, religious conviction.  Honestly, who among us has ever known a woman like this?

Look around you, JoanP, and you will see.  I lost a very good friend to Stage 4 lung cancer a little over a year ago.  Never smoked. Diagnosed in Sept., gone in Dec.  I see lots of glimpses of her in this book.  She was always reaching out to others and to her community.  A few years ago she broke her right wrist. When it was time to get all the wrappings off, I drove her to the doctor. When that was done she said she wanted to go to her hairdresser who lived out in the country.  I offered to take her, to little avail.  She would drive herself! No problem!  She told me later she couldn’t turn the key on and for several weeks afterwards had to use her left hand to do so.

[pedln]

Good morning.  Reading the morning Twitter news – how the mind goes click, click, click from one thought to another.  Just finished the article about the gene therapy break-through in treating leukemia patients at Sloan-Kettering.

No, the article did not mention Dr. O’Reilly – her area of expertise is another cancer, but here is a picture and short bio of the doctor described by Will as tiny, with blue eyes and Irish.

The Doctor

[PatH]

Well she certainly fits, though I had imagined her with dark hair.  She's pretty impressive.

[JoanP]

I think Dr. O'Reilly looks exactly as I pictured her, Pat.  Good on you for finding the photo, Pedln.  Can't you just imagine the smiles lighting up the two faces - the doctor and Mary Anne Schwalbe's?  Electric!

 I've been thinking of the question about loneliness - "How does Mary Anne deal with the possibility of loneliness?"  First off, I can't imagine her having to "deal" with loneliness.  But I suppose everyone is lonely sometimes.  I get lonelier with the loss of each dear friend.  Not desperate or really down, but there are times I want to pick up the phone and talk to one of them about something we always laughed and talked about - only to realize the void all over again.  My little world seems to be shrinking as the years go by and I realize I'm doing nothing to expand it.

How does Mary Anne deal with this?  Her world is so full of people - it's exhausting to read about sometimes.  For one thing, she reads a lot - learns about people, and makes new friends that way.  Probably contacts authors too, don't you think?

And then there are all the people she meets each day. Will comments about the fact that she's always stopping to smile and talk to strangers.  He asks her if she doesn't ever want to be quiet - and alone.  I think we could learn a lesson from Mary Anne - constantly open and aware of others - talking to them, and perhaps making a new friend.  A friend a day...  Isn't that Mary Anne's  motto?  I'm going to try it - start with a smile.  Will let you know the reaction when I get back.

[PatH]

Right, JoanP, Mary Anne deals with the possibility of loneliness by making it impossible--always making new friends, taking care of the old friendships by putting effort into them.  If anything, she has the opposite problem from loneliness.

I'm kind of an opposite to Mary Anne.  I'm a fairly solitary type, and don't mind being alone a lot of the time so long as I have a few good friends and  a certain amount of casual social contact.

[Jonathan]

Mary Anne and loneliness? Unthinkable. For most of her life. Even now, at the end, innundated with cards, letters and flowers from her many friends and students. What a life. She couldn't have had time to feel lonely. And what a reader. She loved Dickens for what he taught her about life. And I started thinking.

I've also started reading Suite Francaise. It begins with the refugees fleeing Paris, which is underattack. One is a mother thinking of her son somewhere in battle. She remembers him saying to her once: "It's your Dickensian spirit, Mother." The author explains that by saying: "She had always taught him to see the funny and moving side of people. She liked to laugh and felt sympathy for others."

Reading about Mary Anne's busy life, I have to wonder how Dickens might have immortalized her. Mrs Jellybe of Bleak House fame comes to mind.

Among her dying words to Will: If you guys fight after I'm gone, I'm coming back.

[Jonathan]

Thanks, Pedln, for the link to the photo of Dr O'Reilly. Very interesting, after reading about her professional role in Mary Anne's sickness.  What a caring look in that wonderful Irish face.

And talking about Ireland. My teenage granddaughter is due back from Ireland in an hour or so. After marching with her band in the ST Patricks day parade in Dublin, and assorted concerts all week long. They are one smart marching band.

[mabel1015j]

Pedln, So far the books now on my TBR list bcs of this book are Appointment in Smarra, Man Gone Down and People of the Book.

[pedln]

What a thrill for your granddaughter, Jonathan, to travel to Ireland to be in Dublin’s St Patrick’s Day parade.  And for her grandfather, too.

Mary Anne asks, “How can you be lonely, when there are always people who want to share their stories with you, .   .   . and tell you about their lives and dreams.”

The teacher in Soseki’s Kokoro says, “Loneliness is the price  we have to pay for being born in this modern world, so full of freedom, independence and our own egotistical selves” In 1914!!!  One might think he was referring to a world 99 years later.

 My brother has done very well as a widower for the past 10 or 12 years, and I think, as Pat has said about herself, that both he and I are happy or at least content pursuing solitary activities, not the least of which is reading.  My hearing keeps declining and my captioned landline phone is a big help.  That technology has not yet reached the mobile phone industry and it doesn’t really bother me that much, but everyone else has one and expects you to have one too.

[pedln]

Jean, we were posting close together.  Yes, People of the Book -- I'm really sorry now that I did not read it with the SeniorLearn group, but certainly want to someday.  And, would you believe, I have Man Gone Down checked out from the library.  But I've been reading On Chesil Beach, which I'm liking better than when I first started it, so have neglected the other.

[JoanP]

People of the Book - now that was a book!  I strongly recommend that you check out our Archived SeniorLearn discussion as you read the book - lots of great points, links to photos, etc. in there at your fingertips!

Jean, I just picked up Appointment at Samarra from the library yesterday - read the first 50 pages last night.  I wonder what you will think of the women in this book.  I'm also wondering how Somerset Maughnn's story of the appointment with death will tie into O'Hara's novel -     I was struck by the fact this was O'Hara's first novel - first of many.  AND considered to be his best!    I think that's sad.  Reading it, I'm reminded, once again why I never would made it as a writer.  I'm reading his story, but his written expression keeps distracting me - simply marvelous.

I'm looking forward to hearing your reactions to Man Gone Down. It didn't make my TBR list.  Should it be?

Jonathan - I'm looking forward to hearing your granddaughter's reaction to St. Patrick's Day in Ireland - having been in Dublin several years ago for that once in a lifetime experience!

[JoanP]

Reading O'Hara, I'm reminded how far women have come since the thirties/forties when he was writing.  I'm wondering how feminists view him today.  We're reading of Mary Anne's role as wife, Mom, friend, grandma - and extensive volunteer work during her last months.  I'm exhausted reading about the way she soldiers on - travelling abroad (with difficulty), riding the bus to doctor appointments,unescorted, working in her office at the International Rescue Committee.  She's 75, she's 18 months into her diagnosis of a terminal cancer.  

I notice the book club books seem to be centering on feminists - on women who refuse to accept limitations. Shaw's St. Joan  Susan Pedersen's biography of Eleanor Rathbone.
Mary Anne has always been a trailblazer - first woman president of the Harvard Faculty Club, first female Director of Admissions to Radcliff/Harvard, etc. etc.
Now her concerns are for the generation that follows.  She's concerned about "the special  burden" on them (?)    She writes of their choices  and opportunities.  She writes of how exhausted she was as a young woman, trying to be the working mother - trying to do it all.  She concludes that today's woman can do it too - but only with help.  What of those women who don't have help?  Is that what worries Mary Anne?

[PatH]

Did you notice that a lot of people, when they realized Mary Ann was dying, stopped touching her, and didn't talk to her directly, but addressed the person with her instead?

This phenomenon is very familiar to wheelchair users; JoanK often has this problem.  When she was buying her condo, it was perfectly plain that she was the person who had the money, and was the one making the decision, but her real estate agent would talk to Joan's son, or caregiver, or whoever was with her, sometimes where Joan couldn't even hear them.  Finally Joan said "any conversation that doesn't include me hasn't happened as far as this transaction goes."  That made things a little better.

[pedln]

Good for JoanK for setting people straight.  I've heard others complain about the same situation. I think in Mary Anne's case that people thought of her as fragile because of her illness.  But in some other situations folks think if you have some kind of disability you're on the road to dementia.

It's interesting, JoanP, that you post about Mary Anne's concerns about the young women of today and tomorrow.

Now her concerns are for the generation that follows.  She's concerned about "the special  burden" on them (?)    She writes of their choices  and opportunities.  She writes of how exhausted she was as a young woman, trying to be the working mother - trying to do it all.  She concludes that today's woman can do it too - but only with help.  What of those women who don't have help?  Is that what worries Mary Anne?

Just today something came up on Facebook that sent me to Morning Joe on MSNBC -- comments about young women "leaning in" (Sheryl Sandberg) or "leaning out" (Campbell Brown).  Even Mary Anne said more than once, "you don't have to do everything."

Lean In / Lean Out

I think back to my mother, widowed with an 8 year-old and a 14 year-old. My small family merged with my aunt and uncle who had no children.  My mother taught, my aunt ran the house, and everyone around ran me.  My mother said more than once, she didn't thing she could have done it by herself.

[PatH]

But in some other situations folks think if you have some kind of disability you're on the road to dementia.

Too true.  JoanK has had to deal with that too.  Some people treat her as though she isn't all there.  Since she is the most formidable intelligence I've ever known, and is still as good as ever, it's pretty inappropriate.  Joan handles it gracefully, but it's irritating.

Thinking of Mary Anne as fragile excuses not touching her, but doesn't excuse not talking to her directly.  I think people who aren't used to illness or disability can't figure out how to handle it, and so shy away from it, turn away.

[PatH]

The last section, where we hold hands with Mary Ann to the end.  There are new questions for anyone who wants them.

[Jonathan]

'Windup: What will you bring away from this book--'


Many things, but primarily the confirmation that reading books, thinking about them and exchanging thoughts about them with others, will not only add quality to your life, but will also buy you time.

And of course great admiration for  Mary Anne who always kept the end in mind, and kept being her noble self until the end.

[PatH]

There aren't as many books mentioned in this section:

Suite Française--Irène Némirovsky
A long way gone--Ishmael Beah
Lord of the Flies--William Golding

The Elegance of the Hedgehog--Muriel Barbery
Poems of Mary Oliver, Nikki Giovanni, Wallace Stevens

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo--Stig Larsson
Sue Grafton, Val McDermid, Sara Peretsky

Brooklyn--Colm Toíbín
  The Master, The Story of Night, The Blackwater Lightship
Christopher and His Kind--Christopher Isherwood

My Father's Tears--John Updike
Big Machine--Victor LaValle
Thomas Pyncheon
Too much Happiness--Alice Munro
The Miracle at Speedy Motors--Alexander McCall Smith
Feasting the Heart--Reynolds Price

[PatH]

I had been wondering if we would learn how the Schwalbes felt about two of their three children being gay, and in this section we learn more.  Mary Ann was upset at first, but quickly adjusted, and after a short period of awkwardness, everything was OK.  The fact that they never talked about it in person, only the original exchange of letters, suggests some residual unease, but the Schwalbes gave complete love and support to their children, and welcomed their partners to the family.

[pedln]

Pat, thank you for listing the books in this section. Now I'll print out all the sections and keep them with the book. So helpful.

Windup: What will you bring away from this book--books to  read, things learned, resolutions made, ways of looking at things, etc?

Books to read, certainly.  But when I think of Mary Anne, I think of something she has said in more than one place in the book.  A place I can locate is where she and Will are talking about  People of the Book and Mary Anne does not like Hanna's mother because she was unkind. " Be kind," she says.  And when life's little irritations pop up, I try to think to myself, "be kind."

the Schwalbes gave complete love and support to their children, and welcomed their partners to the family.

That's the kind of family they were. So Will and Nina are gay. As long as they are happy, what's to talk about   In their circle the Schwalbe's probably did not encounter a lot of narrow mindedness and prejudice, but would have some concern over how their children would be treated by others. Will's coming out first probably made Nina's coming out easier.

I had to laugh about Douglas hoping that Will would not want to talk about his gayness all the time.  My youngest daughter likes to joke that when I met her partner Liz I was not concerned about the relationship , but was more concerned that Liz might be a witch. (Liz was driving a borrowed  car that had some pamphlets about wiccans in it, and I commented on them to Judy.)
No offense meant.

[mabel1015j]

Pat says " The fact that they never talked about it in person, only the original exchange of letters, suggests some residual unease"

I'm not so sure about that either. Does not talking about it made it mean it's
normative -" it's perfectly o.k., so it's not something we need to talk about" and would talking about IT make it seem not normative? I don't know. I can compare it to our interracial family, we talk among ourselves when issues arise for family members, generated from external events, but would i write about it in a book about my mother dying? Probably not. That's another whole book.  

Interracial families seem like a perfectly sane/normal/ordinary situation for us, we don't think much about it and the same is true for the gay couple in our family.

Jean

[JoanP]

"I had been wondering if we would learn how the Schwalbes felt about two of their three children being gay."

Along those same lines, I was wondering if it was unusual that two of the three Schwalbe children were gay. Can anyone comment on this?

I'm not so sure that Will wasn't hoping for a real face to face talk. He writes of an email from Mom - in which she gives him the advice - "'one of the most important things - tell your family you love them, make sure they know how proud you are of them."

But he also writes - he is aware that each book may be the last, each conversation their last one.
He kept waiting for their big talk - he'd tell her how much he loved her, how proud he was of her, how she'd always been there for him, what a great mother she was.  Then she'd tell him how proud she was of him...
"There had been many days we'd almost had the big talk, but didn't."

I sense some regret here...and I'll take Mary Ann's advice from this discussion.

[PatH]

You're probably right, Jean.  I was going by the fact that Mary Ann was upset at first, and they had an initial period of awkwardness, but still didn't talk.

[mabel1015j]

That's true, Pat, i wasn't looking at it from that immediate perspective.

[pedln]

I sense some regret here...and I'll take Mary Ann's advice from this discussion.

from JoanP

They may not have had the “big talk,” but Will was still able to tell his mother he was proud of her.  And yes, Mary Anne’s advice is well worth taking.

4.  Christopher Isherwood's Christopher and His Kind helped Will make sense of his life.  What books have done that for you?

I don’t know that any specific books have made sense of my life.  At least no particular titles come to mind.  But I think we frequently glean, without thinking about it, methods and maxims and ways of living from the books we read. How did this person cope with loneliness, how did this one talk with an adult child gone astray, what made their marriage strong or weak, etc.  One title does come to mind, not as a way of life, but perhaps as something to take comfort in.  In William Maxwell’s So Long, See You Tomorrow the narrator commits an act against another boy that plagues him through adulthood.  Maxwell closes this novel with the thought that we are forgiven for the acts we commit when young.  I often think of Maxwell’s book, especially when I think of shabby things I did when young.

[Jonathan]

Will, making sense of his life. His self-realization is certainly part of his own book. I've found myself wondering if it's more a soul-searching autobiography of himself than an obituary of his remarkable mother. Of course we all look into ourselves when we find ourselves losing someone we love. How much he reveals of himself in a moment of parting from his mother. Page 282.

'Mom looked at the floor. I was due to leave soon, so I hurriedly kissed her on the cheek - gently, for fear of bruising her skin - and before I knew it, I was outside the door of the apartment. For the longest time, I stood there, unwilling or unable to push the elevator button and go home. I stared at the her door and for the first time let myself realize fully that soon would come a day when she wouldn't be behind it, when she'd be gone, when I'd be unable to talk to her about books, about anything. I felt a sharp pain and for a moment thought I was having a heart attack, but it was just panic. And  finally, grief. I rang for the elevator and took the subway home.'

In his being gay and feeling a compulsion to talk about it, I sense a whole range of emotions with which I am unfamiliar.

[PatH]

That's indeed a touching and revealing moment, Jonathan.

I think Will keeps talking about being gay in proportion.  I'm not familiar with the emotions personally either, but I can imagine the relief when you finally come out, and can talk about something that's such an important part of what you are, but you have had to keep bottled up for so long.

[JoanP]

Do you get the feeling that Mary Ann knowing that the end is coming -is not concerned so much on how she is going to get through these last days - but how Will is going to cope when she's gone?  She seems to know what Will is going through...and is trying help him through...

To think of throughout: When he describes a book, have you read it?  If yes, how does your take on the book compare with his?

I loved The Elegance of the Hedgehog...for different reasons than Will describes.  Mary Ann Schwalbe is looking for a change for their bookclub reading - away from  death and dying.  I think it was she who chose Hedgehog.  She likes to read hotel's concierge and the effect that the new Asian tenant and the decor of his apartment had on her.  Mary Ann changes the subject of her conversations to the different kind of life the concierge is able to imagine for herself as she experiences the Eastern decor for the first time.  Escapism? This seems to me to be an escape from their usual topics of discussion.   Didn't Will spend time in Japan - isn't this where he met David?  She's changed the subject.  She's talking about the future - the concierge's future, Will's future. I'd better not give away the end of Hedghog, but...

I must say I admire this mother's care and concern for her son's future -  do you think she's as worried about her other son and daughter as she is about Will?

[PatH]

do you think she's as worried about her other son and daughter as she is about Will?

Will said early on that he was only telling his own story of the last days--that the others' stories were theirs to tell if they wanted to.  So we won't really know unless they do tell.

[pedln]

"Everyone doesn't have to do everything" Mary Ann says of her lack of creativity.  Where do you concentrate your efforts?

I think Mary Anne sets a high bar for the terminally ill.  But basically, she appears to be trying to live as she has always lived, doing what she does best – reaching out, supporting those who need help, being kind, and sharing herself with her family and friends, telling them she loves them and is proud of them.  She’s not going to take up painting, nor will she become a writer of things other than letters.

I think she has always scheduled herself, even on the bad days, but more on the days when they see the manatees.  She knows what she’s capable of, what she’s good at, “everyone doesn’t have to do everything, referring to writing, but she comes close.

Although she is weakened and dying, often in pain, it’s hard to keep in mind that she is someone who is terminally ill.  And I think that’s the way she wants it.

Personally, I couldn’t begin to keep up, but will do anything to avoid schedules, although they are often a necessary piece of life.

[Jonathan]

quote: -  'do you think she's as worried about her other son and daughter as she is about Will?'

Of course she is. Will is constantly telling the reader how much all the others are constantly on her mind. And Will has brought them all into the story throughout. His book will forever remain a family treasure.

You're right, Pedln. Right to the very end, Mary Anne is determined to stay in control, directing air-traffic, as Will puts it. The irony and humor, of distributing her air miles!!

Does Will have it right about his mother's anger when he flies back from San Fransisco to be by his mother's side. She is gravely ill.

'I saw a look of real anger flash across Mom's face....the anger, I'm convinced, was her anger at death. She wasn't quite ready to go. She still had so many things to do. And my rushing back made it that much harder to believe that there was world enough and  time.'

I can hear the family forever wondering about that and exchanging opinions.

Later the same day, we read about her dressed for dinner, not eating, but 'still making plans...looking like herself, just a paler smaller version. Frail but strong.'

What an amazing woman!

[pedln]

Jean, I just saw this on twitter -- fits right in with your comments on interracial families.

Andrea Mitchell ‏@mitchellreports 4m
Nicolle Wallace: #SCOTUS #Prop8 today "Reminds me of those who had to defend bans in interracial marrage in 1967" #mitchellreports
Collapse   Reply  Retweet  Favorite  More

I think, whatever the family situation might be, if it's different from the norm, that parents will worry about how their chidlren are perceived and     treated.

[mabel1015j]

That's true. But even if they are both straight, white-anglo-saxon-protestants we parents still worry about something. 
But the SCOTUS statement is accurate.

[Jonathan]

What an amazing secular and religious diversity in Mary Anne's sick chamber. Bible and prayer book, bat mitzvah poem and glowing Buddha. It surely reflects her lifelong, world-wide, humanitarian preoccupations.

And all those books!

'They were Mom's companions and teachers. They had shown her the way. And she was able to look at them as she readied herself for the life everlasting that she knew awaited her.'

Ones sympathy goes out to Will, who abjectedly exclaims:

'What comfort can be gained from staring at my lifeless e-reader?'

Is Mary Anne taking the books with her? That's the way I want to go.

[JoanP]

Mary Ann Schwalbe was able to read - right to the final days of her life. What a blessing, Jonathan.  That's the way I want to go too! I was interested in what she was reading at the end.  For their book club, she had just completed  Alice Munroe's new collection of short stories - Too Much Happiness.  A coincidence, but we've been talking about reading some short stories in June -  I wonder these short stories were chosen for the bookclub because longer readings might tire Mary Ann at this time?  Are you a short story reader?

I was quite moved when Will quoted the Sept.11 passage from Daily Strength for Daily Needs where her bookmark lay when she died on September 14 -
"If you do not wish for his kingdom, don't pray for it, but if you do, you must do more than pray for it; you must work for it."

Will says he believes these were the last words she ever read.  I think that's the lesson, the message  I will take from reading this account of this amazing woman - who never believed she had worked hard enough.  It's not enough to wish - or even to pray - you've got to actively work to accomplish what you hope for.  

[pedln]

A guest on today's Morning Joe brought  on thoughts of Mary Anne.   Bob Dotson, a name unfamilar to me but apparently known to many, has a book recently published -- American Story: A Lifetime Search for Ordinary People Doing Extraordinary Things --  about the people he met in 40 years of travelling America, searching for those who have changed our lives, made them better. I don't think I would call Mary Anne "ordinary," but she certainly wore many hats -- wife, mother, teacher, friend, volunteer, humanitarian, reader.  And she changed many lives, made them better.  She would fit well in Dotson's book.  She would fit well in Bruce Frankel's book.

One trait that showed throughout the book was that instead of having a round tu-it, she would do-it. Towards the end Will told his mother that he might write something about the books they'd read.

"Oh sweetie, you don't want to spend your life doing that. You have so many other things to do and write"  And then the very next day, and in the time she had left, was her list of the books they'd read, along with notes and suggestions for Will's forthcoming book.

[Jonathan]

Hasn't this been an unusual book. A great paean to an indomitable human spirit, under huge stress in a body wracked by cancer and the massive invasion of modern medicine. How she must have welcomed that open window for the flight of her noble soul.

 May 'flights of angels sing thee to thy rest' Mary Anne.

I took up the book with curiousity. I'm putting it down with melancholy wonder.