Author Topic: The Library (Read 2084767 times)

mabel1015j · « **Reply #720 on:** January 07, 2010, 01:21:31 PM »

The Library

Our library cafe is open 24/7, the welcome mat is always out.
Do come in from daily chores and spend some time with us.

We look forward to hearing from you, about you and the books you are enjoying (or not).

Let the book talk begin here!

Everyone is welcome!

Suggestion Box for Future Discussions

I'm reading The Help and am amazed that this is her first novel. The writing is so good, it just pulls you in, altho it's disturbing at times to think that people could treat other people so badly, especially face-to-face. But she balances the fear and bad behavior w/ some humor and good behavior, so that, for me, it's not overwhelming.

Being a part of an interracial family, i've known the history of this behavior for some time, but she makes the characters so real that it cuts to the quick to think educated young women could be so self-absorbed and unconscious about their behavior, not to mention what society does to others in the book.

I took my grandson for tutoring on Tuesday and usually i'm in the same room, reading something, but also hearing the conversation between him and his teacher - Tues, while reading The Help, I heard nothing, i was totally in Jackson Miss.

We haven't been to a movie in a theater since Ray - the Ray Chas story - maybe, 8 yrs ago. The volume is always too loud for me, it literally gives me a headache. I had taken to bringing ear plugs w/ me. Since then i just wait for the movies to come on tv, altho i know some of them are not as good when seen on the small screen.

Hope everybody is staying warm, especially you folks in the South.

Steph - i think every county in the country has an Office on Aging that can help you w/ the paper work............sorry it is so laborious when you are already feeling so badly. Hope you can find someone who can assist you.......................jean

pedln · « **Reply #721 on:** January 07, 2010, 01:43:18 PM »

Bellemere, that is a very interesting blog that your granddaughter is writing. I just sent the link to my granddaughter (high school junior) who will spend 6 to 8 weeks this summer in Central or South America with the Amigos de Las Americas program. She finds out which country in February or March. I think she'll find your granddaughter's comments to be good background.

Does your other granddaughter, the one who's majoring in linguistic anthropology, also have a blog?

I was just thinking that Kelsey ought to keep a blog, but she told me at Christmastime that they will not have cell phones or Internet access.

bellemere · « **Reply #722 on:** January 07, 2010, 01:58:54 PM »

Yes, Emily has a blog. it is called Bolivin' It Up, and is reached at: emizersmily.blogspot.com She is home now, and going back to complete her junior year.
Wonderful that your granddaughter is going to South America. A great opportunity. I bet she will find internet cafes in even the smallest villages. And I remember a few years ago riding an ancient public bus in the Yucatan, sitting next to a wrinkled old Mayan lady in full Mayan costume, with a rebozo shawl to carry the potatoes, or the baby, or whatever. At the tinkling sound, she whipped a cell phone out of the shawl and startied chatting.
My older granddaughter in Argentina has drawn some remarks from people about "settling down " and
starting a career" but what where would you rather be, on a balcony in Buenos Aires on New Years Eve or staring at a computer in some insurance company cubicle?
I just don't want her to fall for an Argentine and go there to live! I would miss her terribly. (However, she does make fun of their mullet haircuts.)

CubFan · « **Reply #723 on:** January 07, 2010, 04:40:46 PM »

Jean - I too found The Help very absorbing. That and Five Smooth Stones I have found to be painful reads because you know that even though they are fiction the situations and feelings are real.

I have new lady friend in Texas who grew up Black in the segregated south and said that she just thought as a child and teenager that life was as she was living it; and, I was in Wisconsin at the same time living my life and oblivious to what her life was like. Once I was out of college and teaching in Milwaukee and became involved in the Civil Rights movement my eyes were opened a lot but I still have much to learn.

What I do find fascinating was that she was able to raise her boys in a predominately white neighborhood/schools and they cannot understand at all what life was like for her and that is just one generation back. I'm glad to see how in some cases we've made that much progress and yet I know that many still harbor negative feelings toward many minorities - it's just not acceptable to say things out loud any more. It's the undercurrent that scares me now.

It's books like The Help which will keep people talking and hopefully progressing.

Mary

pedln · « **Reply #724 on:** January 08, 2010, 10:01:26 AM »

Bellemere, your granddaughter's answer to critics should be, "I've got the rest of my life to start a career." To any young person who can do these things (without parental funding) before they become attached or encumbered, I say, go for it.

PatH, by any chance did you get to Politics and Prose this past Wednesday to hear Atul Gawande? I've read parts of his Complications, but would like to read more by this young surgeon, who also writes medical articles for the New Yorker magazine.

Steph · « **Reply #725 on:** January 08, 2010, 11:14:15 AM »

I live in a non senior center area. If I were still at the beach, I would have tons of help.My sons help me, but on the insurance,, they want me to decide and I do understand this.
My neighbors help on household things.. I am slowly getting things retitled, etc. The state of Florida is a pain. I get a nice email and advice from one department, go to get something retitled and get a snot.. who goes that is not the right department. And she decides she wants something entirely different. I go back the next day with what she wanted and still another person wants something entirely different. I do think that Florida needs to get its act together.

marcie · « **Reply #726 on:** January 08, 2010, 11:35:52 AM »

How frustrating, Steph. I know you'll get through all this paperwork but it's definitely upsetting.

PatH · « **Reply #727 on:** January 08, 2010, 12:15:13 PM »

Quote from: pedln on January 08, 2010, 10:01:26 AM

PatH, by any chance did you get to Politics and Prose this past Wednesday to hear Atul Gawande?

No, alas. It's almost frustrating how many good speakers they have. There are two I'd like to hear on the 16th. And Greg Mortensen spoke a while back, but you had to sign up for it, and it was already filled up by the time I got the notice.

Octavia · « **Reply #728 on:** January 08, 2010, 04:58:23 PM »

Re travel versus career, the only thing that worries me with my boys is the Super they're missing out on.
The Govt. pays a compulsory amount into workers Superannuation accounts. I'm not sure what the rate is now. It used to be 9%, but was due to go up to 12% and could be more now. The pension probably won't be available to them, as the number of workers is shrinking.
My eldest in IT made a decision not to pursue the promotion ladder too far. He said he wanted to enjoy his life not work every minute of the day. He felt the same in Uni, he got good marks but didn't want to go for Honours because he wanted to make the most of those years.
I think it was a good choice.

bellemere · « **Reply #729 on:** January 09, 2010, 09:37:06 AM »

Atul Gawande is one of an amazing group: doctors who can write well. I think of neurologist Oliver Sachs (The Man Who Misook His Wife for a Hat) and Jerome Groopman, many New Yorker articles. Then another doctor of Indian descent whose name I can't recall, but wh o wrote a wonderful book about the early days of AIDS , another book about his doctor tennis partner who fell to drug addiction. Any body
Gawande's article says that the healt reform bills do not contain any "master plan" for cost control because we do not know how to do it! He says the bills do contain provision for "pilot Programs" and he thinkd the are the key. He cites one case where a group of doctors conducted a hospital sponsored prograjm to coordinate care for a group of diabetics, but this resulted in fewer hospital admissins for those people, a good result, So the hosptial pulled the plug on the program! Oy, veh!

Babi · « **Reply #730 on:** January 09, 2010, 12:22:57 PM »

STEPH, I don't know if it will do any good, but I took the liberty of
copying your complaint and sending it to the Public Services branch of
the Florida government. I did not identify you, but if they should
respond with an offer of assistance, I'll let you know.

My younger daughter made a similar choice, OCTAVIA. She refused to accept a supervisory at one place of employment, because the supervisors were paid by salary only and were worked to death by the company. Long hours filling in for everybody and anybody, with no overtime. She was still doing supervisory work, because everybody
came to her with problems they couldn't resolve, but at least she was
getting paid by the hour.

catbrown · « **Reply #731 on:** January 09, 2010, 06:23:50 PM »

Steph, there are lawyers who specialize in dealing with situations like yours. I used one after my husband died and it made life so much easier. She did all the filings and, of course, knew all the hidden obstacles and all the things that needed to be done. It cost money, but it was worth it!

My two cents,
Cathy

JoanK · « **Reply #732 on:** January 09, 2010, 06:51:24 PM »

BELLEMERE: "Then another doctor of Indian descent whose name I can't recall, but wh o wrote a wonderful book about the early days of AIDS". I read that book, too, and really liked it. But can't remember the author or title.

bellemere · « **Reply #733 on:** January 09, 2010, 08:38:37 PM »

Joan K. - I got it! My Own Country: a Doctor's Story by Abraham Verghese.
Maybe we should read "books by doctors" . Who wrote the one about being a patient in the hospital where he had worked? It was a movie called the Doctor with William Hurt.

joangrimes · « **Reply #734 on:** January 09, 2010, 10:59:26 PM »

Steph,

I have been widowed twice and I used a lawyer both times in getting things settled. It helped a whole lot. I used the same lawyer both times.

Joan Grimes

Steph · « **Reply #735 on:** January 10, 2010, 06:45:49 AM »

My husband and I titled everything in common except for the motor scooter, which I hated. That is where I had the problems.
Its amazing however. This week, thus far,, my cable keeps doing weird things. I called and it gets straight, but because of the cold, we are having brownouts and they are messing up the cable. Guess who always did the cable and tv..Hmm. Then we had a major brown out.. Five years ago when we moved in, we had a security system, but the dogs kept tripping it and we had it shut off.. Now five years later, with this brownout the whole system started blasting and screaming.. Called the number on the system and it was no longer in service. I ended up with two of my male neighbors. They managed to get it silenced and then pulled wires to keep it off.. Again.. want to think who said the system was fine as it was.. Third..yesterday my thermostat got hotter and hotter. Ended up with 85 degrees inside. Everytime I reset it, it popped back or went to 95. The system that my husband swore was easy as pie turns out to be a set thing and it had gotten messed up from the brownouts.. Again a neighbor was kind enough to come down and reset it. I find no book anywher on the darned thing.. So.. lawyers dont help with that sort of thing.. I paid one lawyer for getting me a tax id for the trust..but the lawyer I consulted about the insurance wants 1/3 of the money and extras for anything he actually has to do.. Not my thing.. Its just plain weird though.. Ladies who still have husbands .. Make them write it down.. Oh how I wish I had.

Babi · « **Reply #736 on:** January 10, 2010, 09:40:31 AM »

Quote

Ladies who still have husbands .. Make them write it down.. Oh how I wish I had.

Excellent advice, Steph. And why not go back to the first lawyer you used and see what he would expect for handling the insurance problems.
I can't imagine why that other lawyer thinks he should get paid for his
work and 1/3 of your insurance money as well!

mrssherlock · « **Reply #737 on:** January 10, 2010, 03:31:25 PM »

The way a woman has to live when she is by herself seems many times to be nonsensical to men. One example, I read in advice to a woman about her car: have your belts and hoses changed every two years so you don't wind up at 2 AM stuck on a dark highway with a broken hose or belt, attracting predators. My son says, why change them before you need to. What I'm saying, Steph, is that you have to remake your life to suit your needs. Change, eliminate, get rid of whatever you can't take care of yourself. And you may benefit from joining a support group for the newly widowed. Having participated in a support group when I ended my marriage I can attest to its comfort. These are the people who know what you're gong through and someone(s) in the group may have found a solution to one or another of your problems, such as referrals to good lawyers and other useful contacts. My dear friend Joyce always planned to set up something like a commune for single elderly women when we retired. Breast cancer took her before her time.

marcie · « **Reply #738 on:** January 10, 2010, 09:58:02 PM »

Hello, all. A new "Return to Cranford" with Judi Dench is showing tonight (with part two next week) on PBS in many areas. Join us in talking about the series and/or the Cranford book too at http://seniorlearn.org/forum/index.php?topic=1023.80. The program will be available online too if your local PBS station isn't showing it.

If someone wants a copy of the book, CRANFORD, for just the cost of the postage, post in that discussion or email JoanP. There is one copy of the book left.

Steph · « **Reply #739 on:** January 11, 2010, 06:33:19 AM »

Jackie, good advice.. My friend is leaving today and I will find it easier to do all of the things I need to accomplish. She was really kind to come and stay, but she is recovering from hip surgery and was actually not any help for ordinary things. She is a tv addict and has very very strong ideas on eating habits, etc.
I do want to find a support group. I am told to contact Hospice which has things like that. I will do this.. I also must get my glasses. I am using an older pair, since mine disappeared in the accident.
And the frigid cold is supposed to start to ease, so I will be more comfortable.

salan · « **Reply #740 on:** January 11, 2010, 07:10:10 AM »

Steph, I understand some of what you are going through. It has been a year and a half since my husband died; and I am still coming across things I need to do. It doesn't seem fair that we have to face all these problems when we are in the depths of despair, does it? My probate attorney was a big help in filing some things for me, and she was also very helpful in telling me what I needed to do. I remember thinking that the rest of the world just kept on "going on", while mine was crashing around me.
I came across this quote that I want to pass on to you. Christopher Robin says to Pooh, "Promise me you'll always remember: you're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."
Sally

Babi · « **Reply #741 on:** January 11, 2010, 09:13:59 AM »

I love that quote, SALLY. Thee are always people who need that kind
of encouragement, especially young people not very sure of themselves.

mrssherlock · « **Reply #742 on:** January 11, 2010, 12:59:16 PM »

What an astute pswychologist Milne was!!

Steph · « **Reply #743 on:** January 12, 2010, 06:32:26 AM »

I love the quote. My computer has the heebie jeebies this morning. All sorts of quivering and up and down for no reason.. My only recourse is turning it off and on, but that doesnt seem to work today. Bah..

JoanP · « **Reply #744 on:** January 12, 2010, 08:10:11 AM »

Good morning, Steph!
Next time your screen starts Jumping Jeebies like that - try clicking the little bluish box up in the top of your screen on the right side - it's called the "compatability" view- looks like a piece of paper ripped in half. Clicking this worked for me...

mrssherlock · « **Reply #745 on:** January 12, 2010, 06:00:28 PM »

What one book would you nominate as the best book of the last decade years? Powell's Books in Portland, an independenty book sellew, is soliciting nominations/opinions for the purpose of awarding their Puddly Prize. http://www.powells.com/puddlys2010?margin=Puddly%20Awards%202010

JoanP · « **Reply #746 on:** January 12, 2010, 06:54:01 PM »

That's a great site, Jackie. One worth watching as we consider titles for future discussions. I see Book Thief on the list - that is coming here in March.
I'll have to give that some thought. The best in the last decade....

Steph · « **Reply #747 on:** January 13, 2010, 06:22:19 AM »

Oh me, Ten years.. Not sure I would remember the ones at the beginning of this.. Best Book.. Hmm.. I suspect that there will be a lot of division on that.
No little blue box with ripped paper. There is a row with a house, something orange, a letter the printer and then page,safety,tools, and a question mark. Is that the right place>>

Babi · « **Reply #748 on:** January 13, 2010, 08:28:03 AM »

STEPH, I did get a polite reply from Florida. They may be referring you to
the same department that's already giving you a hard time, but perhaps
not. Here's the e-mail they sent me.

RE: Title changes and insurance problems
Tue, January 12, 2010 9:10:41 AMFrom: Consumer Contact <Contact@PSC.STATE.FL.US>View Contact
To: Barbara Simpson <baba3to1@yahoo.com>

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

01/12/2010

RE: Title changes and insurance problems

Dear Ms. Simpson:

This e-mail is a response to your recent inquiry to the Florida Public Service Commission (PSC).

The Florida Public Service Commission regulates investor-owned utilities electric, telephone, natural gas, and some water & wastewater utilities. From the information you provided, this matter appears outside of our jurisdiction. The agency that would be able to assist you would be the Florida Department of Financial Services. You can reach this agency at:

Florida Department of Financial Services
200 East Gaines Street
Tallahassee, FL 32399-0300
1-800-848-3792
www.dbf.state.fl.us

Thank you for contacting the Florida Public Service Commission. I regret I cannot be of more assistance regarding this issue. For more information on when to call the PSC, please click on the link: www.floridapsc.com/publications/consumer/brochure/When_to_Call_the_PSC.pdf. If you have a complaint regarding a matter regulated by the PSC, please contact us toll free at 1-800-342-3552, by fax at 1-800-511-0809 or by the address below.

Sincerely,

Angela Calhoun
Regulatory Consultant
Division of Service, Safety, and Consumer Assistance

bellemere · « **Reply #749 on:** January 13, 2010, 09:33:12 AM »

Steph, your e xperience is a lesson for us all. I sincerely hope you get the help you need.
I am finishing Zeitoun, and enjoying it except for the long digressions into his childhood, past life, etc. His horrific treatment being imprisoned as a terrorist merely becuase of his Syrian ancestry was very disturbing. Can't help wondering if he was ever compensated by our government for their actions.
Anybody know?

bellemere · « **Reply #750 on:** January 13, 2010, 08:20:52 PM »

Steph, the little blue box is higher up than that. Right after the box where you type URLs It helped me to with the screen whipping up and down; drove me nuts.

JoanP · « **Reply #751 on:** January 13, 2010, 10:09:09 PM »

Babi - bless your dear heart for writing that letter to Florida...

Steph- Bellemere gave better directions to that blue box than I did. Look at the browser box where you enter urls - to the right you'll see a down arrow and THEN - the magic blue box - called compatability view. It will be worth your while to hunt again for it ...Just think of it - no more jumping screen as you try to post!

Jackie, are you keeping an eye on the Powell's contest for naming the best book of the decade? Nice prize offered. I wonder how it will be decided. I agree, it's difficult to think all the books published since 2000. There are many books I liked - but most of them aren't big enough - meaty enough to be named the best.

I just looked over recent entries...saw THE ROAD nominated. Have you read it? It was one we discussed here last year. It was quite an experience - but I don't know about naming it the best of the decade...
What would you nominate?

I've started The Book Thief. It is quite a hefty book - and it has a powerful opening. Maybe it's the winner?

Steph · « **Reply #752 on:** January 14, 2010, 08:09:13 AM »

Aha,,, found the blue box. Serious thanks to all..
Babi.. Public Service is the utilities in Florida. My problems seem to stem with the title in that I thought that Motor Vehicle or Department of Public
Transportation should be the correct venue.. I am told by a frosty lady in the License Bureau ( in Florida it is where you pay your county taxes) that they are in charge and the other two do not know what they are talking about. Pretty funny, when you consider who actually does the work with motor vehicles. Hmm.
Had my first session with a grief counselor from Hospice. I was worried since it was a man, but to my great relief, I could talk to a total stranger and cry and rage and he simply sat and listened. I am grateful and he will come back next week for another session. After he left, I realized that for the first time since the accident, I felt like a human.

Babi · « **Reply #753 on:** January 14, 2010, 08:42:56 AM »

STEPH, that's wonderful. I'm so glad you found the outlet you needed.
It can make all the difference, just to have someone listen without judging or trying to tell you what to do.

I made the mistake once of suggesting possible solutions to someone's
situation, but it quickly became apparent he considered all 'solutions'
impossible, and simply wanted a sympathetic hearer.

mrssherlock · « **Reply #754 on:** January 14, 2010, 12:27:39 PM »

Steph: It must be painful. I admire you for acting instead of weeping sand wailing.

Babi: And they get mad when you try to help them!

Joan: Like you I can't think of one book that stands tall. Lots of good ones, some great ones, but no single book does it for me. I thought of The Road; considered The Help, People of the Book, Doomsday Book. That's as far as I've gotten.

JoanK · « **Reply #755 on:** January 14, 2010, 03:05:58 PM »

Jackie, but how lucky you are to live near Powells. I've never been there, but keep hearing stories from my Portland neice about how wonderful it is.

bellemere · « **Reply #756 on:** January 14, 2010, 03:58:55 PM »

Nothing challenged me and held my interest like: Memoirs of Hadrian by Marguerite Yourcenar, translated from French. Perhaps it was written more than a decade ago, though.
for the last few years, The Story of Edgar Sawtelle stands out for originality and broad vision of humanity and the animal world.
I guess there can't really be a "best book" for everyone.

PatH · « **Reply #757 on:** January 14, 2010, 04:13:04 PM »

My copy has a 1954 copyright date. Too bad. It would be great to win those golden galoshes.

mrssherlock · « **Reply #758 on:** January 14, 2010, 05:14:58 PM »

Desiring to assist in Haiti's recovery I googled Haiti aid. The number of response was dismaying. How could I be sure that my few dollars would go where I wanted, directly to aid for Haitians? NPR came to my rescue. American Institute of Philanthropy has a website called Charity Watch where they grade charity organizations on how effecient they are, i.e., how much of each dollar contributed is spent on services rather than "administrative costs". http://www.charitywatch.org/

Frybabe · « **Reply #759 on:** January 14, 2010, 08:53:45 PM »

Another one is www.charitynavigator.org. I've been checking out their ratings lately.

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Author Topic: The Library (Read 2084767 times)