The Library

[Steph]

still on my hmmm list. My f2f book club has picked some books, I simply do not like this year.

[Frybabe]

Some interesting new programs are starting at my local library. Adventures in Travel Writing, which is a program those who want to write, and Potboilers and Blockbusters, our first f2f book discussion group focusing, this year, on Books made into movies. I don't plan on attending any of the travel writing sessions and very few of the book discussions. There is only one book discussion that looks interesting to me. It is In the Heart of the Sea: The Tragedy of the Whale Ship Essex by Nathaniel Philbrick.

[PatH]

Shades of Moby-Dick!  In the Heart of the Sea sounds like just my kind of thing.  I didn't know of it, but I'll look into it now.  I see it's being made into a movie.

[BarbStAubrey]

With so much aggression in the world today the recent Charlie Rose round-table of scientists working on the brain and the behavior of aggression was a very insightful program with lots of new information -

The various kinds of aggression, how genes are some of the cause and how environment is equal in cause and the scientific work that proves how close aggression is to sexual impulse - and most surprising aggression is normal to all of us and starts as a toddler - how we are socialized can make a difference between the ages of 2 and 4 but particularly between the ages of 3 and 4.

Another eye opener was how easy it is for us to join those instigating aggressive behavior - how good, normal, everyday people are brought into and join in the aggression.  I learned much so that I understand some things in a different way

If you missed the show here is the link

http://www.charlierose.com/watch/60526735

[pedln]

Frybabe, I gave that book to my son for his birthday several years ago.  Don't know if he ever read it or not.  He didn't say.  But I'll tell him there is now a movie coming out on it.  Philbrick has written several books about ship and/or the Navy.  And just especially for you PatH, one titled Why Read MOby Dick

[Steph]

Have not read that one, but Philbrick is a really good history writer..

[mabel1015j]

Barb

I love Charlie Rose's series on the brain. It is info we wouldn't get anywhere else on tv. I said to my dgt last night that she is going to see amazing things in her life, what with the use of brain imaging. One of this show's interesting bits for me was how important daycare can be in socializing aggressive 3 and 4 yr olds. That is the time of most human lives when they are the most aggressive and have to learn the boundaries. If parents don't teach about boundaries, (and they seem to be less likely to do that these days. Isit guilt that they aren't there as much as our parents were?) daycare is where they learn to control their actions.

The other piece that raises an interesting question, if some aggression is genetic, what is ethical to do about their aggressive behaviors? Do we punish them

Jean

[MaryPage]

I remember when I was a young mother the big emphasis was on how important it was that preschool children stay in the home under a loving mothers care and how awful mothers were who worked and had help with the little ones.  Structured daycare was almost totally unavailable.  Guilt was rampant.

But I find those of my great grandchildren who have been in structured daycare since they were old enough to be taken, about 3 months each, are the smartest, most civilized little kids I have EVER encountered!  I am totally serious here.  Mateo in St. Louis is 27 months, and what he can do blows me away.  Ezra in Baltimore will be 4 this coming June, and I swear they are both going to amaze this world!  Emma in Oklahoma City will be three in July, and SHE will chatter your head off while cooking you lunch.  Seriously, she has been given cooking lessons. They all read and use iPads.  The new reality, as far as I can see, is that babies are sponges that are eager to learn from being read to and taught from day one.  Not aggressively or with any pushing, pulling, or guilt, but individually and at their own pace.  There are no boundaries to what a healthy, well adjusted child can accomplish.

[mabel1015j]

I agree MaryPage and another reason for day care is how they learn to socialize.

 I had to stop teaching when i was seven months pregnant with our dgt - the first child (the policy was to stop when at four months, but the "empire look" was popular - 1969/70 - and i was able to hold out til sevenmonths)    She was home with me almost exclusively for five yrs. we did participate in a co-op nursery when she was 3 and 4 yrs old, but she was not very happy with that. She was very shy til she was 9 or 10 and held on to some of that until she got to college - then she just bloomed.

Our son came along 4 yrs after our dgt and started day care at age 2 and was very outgoing, happy, creative and mingled easily until he got to be about 15 or 16 and decided it was cooler for males to be less outgoing and less fun. I've said often that they switched personalities because he was 14 when she went off to college.

Jean

[Steph]

I am not as big a fan of day care as others. My oldest stayed home with me. He could read by 4 and loved a variety of puzzles and other games that made him think. My younger went off to day care.. He started sucking his thumb,, and became aggressive. I finally pulled him out, stayed home and learned to redirect his aggression and show him how boundaries work.. A better child in months, so my experiences were not good.

[BarbStAubrey]

Your children were lucky you knew how to teach them boundaries but since those years daycare is a far better experience and as the scientist and doctors suggest it is to help the children who do not have the family history capable of teaching children their boundaries and they are the very children who need this kind of guidance or they will repeat yet again another generation of aggression. 

[Steph]

Yes, my sons are 51 and 53, so day care was a new concept at that time.. My grandchildren both went to day care, I liked hers better. It was a teacher who had a severely allergic child and opted to stay home with her. She decided to start a very small group.. Seven to be exact. They were six girls, one boy and all the same age. They honestly thought they were a family.. Fun to watch and we still keep up with them. Connors was a medium size church type.. It was ok, but because of being in Orlando, very Spanish.

[Frybabe]

Followers of Graphic Novels, Manga and their offshoots might be interested to know that on Saturday popular Gekiga (dramatic pictures) style cartoonist Yoshihiro Tatsumi passed away at age 79. I don't think he is very well known here. Our library system has only one of his works listed.

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/13/arts/yoshihiro-tatsumi-japanese-cartoonist-of-dark-stories-is-dead-at-79.html?contentCollection=books&action=click&module=NextInCollection&region=Footer&pgtype=article

Where is everybody? It has been unusually quiet all week except for the Emma and the Women's Issues discussions.

[bellamarie]

I just saw all the posts on daycare.  It's ironic, because I am being forced to close my in home daycare, after fifteen years.  No insurance company will cover me any longer.  I have had no incidents, injuries or claims in all my years, but now they consider me a high risk with an inground pool, and dog, which I have ALWAYS had, and was covered until this year.  Insurance companies have changed their exclusions, and have gotten much more restrictive on coverage, due to so many claims brought from daycares.  I had three different insurance agencies trying to keep my daycare from closing, and after three months of contacting every company possible, exhausting every avenue, I got the news today, I have to close.  NO company will cover me, not even a commercial policy.  They say if I was daycaring off my premises it would not be a problem to get coverage.  I think they are trying to do away with in home daycares. They used to cover in home daycare on your homeowner's policy, under the wording of "babysitting,"  NO MORE! I have always claimed my daycare as a business on my taxes, and used a contract, and provided a handbook.  So, although I was going to retire in one and a half years, I will be retiring at the end of this month.

I resigned my job after fifteen years, being a computer lab teacher, at an elementary Catholic school, to begin my daycare when my first grandchild was born.  I did not want my grandchild in a business based daycare because I have way too much knowledge of how things are run.  So for the past fifteen years, I was able to daycare all six of my grandchildren for free, and have my business.  I have probably cared for over 30 children, prepared them for Kindergarten, and each of them entered Kindergarten above normal expected knowledge, and very prepared socially.  Some of my kids had special needs, some had medical issues, which I was able to spot before the parents or pediatricians, some had behavioral problems which I was able to help with .  Some were very shy when I got them, and by the time they went to Kindergarten, they were well assured leaders, ready to take on the world.  Some of my kids are now in college, all of my kids did great in school, and all of the families still continue to keep in touch with me and thank me for all I did for their child.  When I see the kids at events, or church, they still come up to me to give me a hug and say hi. 

I will miss my kids, but I still teach third grade religion classes on Wed. evenings, and I still have my  beautiful grandchildren.  My youngest grandchild turned 4 yrs. old this week, so she will be ready for Kindergarten next August.  Until then, she will continue coming to Nonnie & Papa's, and I will enjoy this next year with her, one on one!

[MaryPage]

A very lovely story, BellaMarie, with an ending tinged with sadness.  One of the first questions which popped up unbidden in my mind was to ask why in this world insurance companies keep on insuring houses and commercial buildings that are built on flood plains, in New Orleans, along flooding rivers, in former wetlands, on barrier islands and so forth, and yet not insurance carrier one will cover a small daycare operation out of a home!  It is one of those mind blowing things that makes me cringe and creep inside of myself and not want to so much as take a peek out at this crazy mixed-up world we live in!

But one other thing comes out of your story.  It reinforces my conviction that a regular regime of structured teaching and socialization from the very earliest months of a child's life can and almost always will lead to superior achievement once they enter regular school.

I know there has been a lot of neglectful day care out there, and I totally relate to Steph's experiences also, and affirm a belief that a full time dedicated chiefly to the kids mother can make all the difference, too.  But let's face it, no child of Steph's, or indeed, of most if not all of us in here, was ever going to have Day Care make the difference between success and failure in this life.  However, the picture changes drastically when we turn our attention to the babies being born into poverty, deprivation and poorly educated parents.  My main point in discussing all of this has been a belief that if we truly want to eradicate the worst sources of violence, murder & mayhem, sexual assaults, theft, alcohol and drug abuse in this country, we need to spend the money and give early, early education to the infants of our poor.  My financial argument is that we can save just one hell of a lot of money on not having to support them for many years later as inhabitants of the prisons of this nation!!

[Frybabe]

Gosh, that's a shame, Bellamarie. Insurance companies want more of your money (or in your case, drop your policy) and provide less and less.

That reminds me, I just saw on the local news this morning that our new governor wants, in addition to raising it, to add nursing home care, day-care and funeral expenses to what gets taxed in our state. I think that will put some people right over what they can afford for the first two and encourage people to buy less expensive caskets, etc. or forgo some funeral features to stay within their means. How many people are going to be able to afford the extra bucks. I saw an estimate of between $3,000 and $6,000 a year for the sales taxes for nursing home care should this pass.

Good point about insuring houses built in flood plains, MaryPage. It never ceases to amaze me that township zoners allow building homes on flood plains at all. And then there are the people who have no clue (especially those who are not from the area) about flood plains and get suckered into buying a home on the river or creek.

[maryz]

That's awful about your losing your business, bellamarie.  You've obviously done a great service to "your" babies.  Definitely condolences and shared gnashing of teeth from here.

[MaryPage]

Follow the money.  Always, always follow the money.

The Big Money Men of this nation have bazillions invested in beach properties.  They have zero monies invested in Daycare.  Almost every instance of Daycare, so necessary to working mothers, exists due to the physical and financial input of WOMEN.  Women who do not have access to the humongous sums changing hands on a daily basis throughout the 50 states and abroad.

These same men have granite stone mindsets when it comes to women and babies.  All conceptions MUST be delivered, and then and there all assistance to living in this world must be stopped at the git go.  No mothers should be single or work, no daycare should exist, no hungry child should be fed at the public trough, no early education should be parceled out.  If they could just wave their hands and get what they wanted, they would do so and cause all single and/or poor mothers to die in childbirth and the babes be adopted by childless couples!

[PatH]

Bellamarie, that's such a shame that you have to close your business, and so shortsighted an official policy.  You have made such a tremendous contribution, and made a real difference to so many vulnerable people.  All honor to you.

[BarbStAubrey]

Sad Bellamarie - thank goodness you do have the memory and satisfaction of a job well done

OK folks - If folks in flood plains purchased their property 25 or so years ago they may have been suckered in however, since, if a house is in the flood plain it MUST be declared when listed or the agent can be either severely fined or loose their license and if that check point was passed the buyer could NOT close on the transaction since you MUST have flood insurance if your home or any part of your property is in the flood plain - every Title company will insure they are giving Title Insurance to a property in or out of a flood plain and have access to the maps to do the research as does most property tax collecting agencies.

The Army Corp of Engineers redraw Flood Plain maps every 10 or 15 years with tighter restrictions each time as to if a property is in a flood plain and the ONLY flood insurance available is from the federal government - property in flood plains are not insured by private, commercial insurance companies.

As to stopping all construction on flood plains is like anything that we attempt to have a one solution for all - just like what  Bellamarie has bumped up against - there is no individual inspections so all day care facilities are treated with a broad stroke and so too with developing property in the flood plain -

In order to accommodate a shipping port there is a city of workers required - they need to live nearby so they can get to work in an hour or less - those who work directly on the docks and then those who supply the support services required by any resident, like schools and libraries and churches, which brings more residents - they all need services and so it goes - New Orleans is the shipping port for the ENTIRE mid-west - from Minnesota to the Gulf - there is no other river port and to empty out New Orleans because it is in a flood plain would bring this nation back to the early eighteenth century if not the seventeenth.

This scenario goes for farmers as well - we would have no rice farming if we prohibited the use of flood plains and then we have the farmers of the rice farms who need schools, shops, services etc. the same as those living on shipping ports.  

I do think what most of us are concerned about is those who have other choices and choose to live in a flood plain because they can afford it and there is a lack of protection on outer islands and bay areas. Those who know how to get around the laws will develop for pleasure without the purpose of the construction being a necessity to the economics of the area. As wealthy as we imagine a city government to be they barely manage therefore protecting these sensitive areas means having a bigger acquisition budget for our National Parks and Wildlife department in Washington.

It appears that when we humans accumulate self-empowerment and are successful we continue in our natural drive for success to accumulate more power often, through the acquisition of wealth which is heady and the folks who are successful are big risk takers who use that skill in all their affairs - Since they must be masters at finding ways around road blocks to them the protection of land is a road block unless the land is secured by a living land donor or in the form of a Federal Park and even there the park can be breached as we recently saw with oil and gas having drilling rights on federal land - sounds to me like amid all the noise about war and human atrocities somehow an appreciation for our coastal lands needs to be understood both from a viewpoint of nature and a viewpoint of economic necessity.  

New will be how to convince a home owner whose family has lived in a certain town or even in a house for several generations to give up and move because of the rising oceans - even living in our home during our life time - until we find it no longer serves us and we were being flooded out frequently most of us would hang on saying things like - just till I retire or just until I die than my family can dispose of the property or my commute to work will no longer be an issue or all my memories tied up in this house are more important and I will pay more flood insurance to stay here. And it only floods every few years - or if I move someone else will use the property in a way that is more invasive than having a single family residence near the shore line - on and on it goes.

I see all this being played out because of our severe drought - the city is building a plant to process water that is extracted from west Texas to accommodate the population 50 years from now however, we are paying for the plant now in our water bill. I see so many homes in town with tilted slabs because the earth has dried up under the houses - stabilizing can cost upwards from 10 to 20K and leveling another 7 to 20K - plus all the cracks that will develop in the walls and floors during the leveling - so a house under 2000 square feet can cost the homeowner 30 thousand - to sell they need the work done so they may as well live in the house after all that money is borrowed and spent - the town is booming and more houses will be in this condition as the drought continues - convenience to our job is the driving factor and then after years in one location folks have built up their support system with family, friends and services.

There does not seem to be an easy answer on this one...as to where folks should live...

[Steph]

Iam sorry Bella.. I do understand MaryPage, your comments on day care, but some day cares down here in Florida are simply babysitters in disguise and they are generally the cheaper ones.. So I am not sure that they get any sort of help for school.

[ginny]

BellaMarie, I totally agree with Pat H said and could not have said it better, so I echo it, just consider this a Me, II.  You can enjoy the fruits of a great deal of satisfaction in having made a difference. I am sorry you've had to close.

On the subject of teaching in general, I have been enjoying reading the different posts here in the last month or so on teaching and teachers, and just to put everybody on the alert, we're going to be discussing a book in July about a retired teacher looking back on his life but there are a couple of surprising twists to his story. A very profound book. We'll keep everybody in suspense over it for a while, because it's more fun,  and it's probably  not the book you are thinking of, but I think this is one everybody can relate to, because EVERYBODY has encountered a teacher along the way, so we all have experience.

I do hope you'll consider joining  us for this mystery book, because July is a slow month and we need a good book to sit out under the trees with (or at the beach, or wherever).

[bellamarie]

Thank you!  all for your kind words.  My last day will be very emotional, but the good thing is I will be entering Easter vacation, so it will help make it a bit easier.

Steph, I can not imagine being "just a babysitter."  Spending all those hours with children, and not utilizing it to the best of their abilities is almost shameful.  Parents need daycare, and some are willing to place their child in a "just babysitting" home, so they can pay less.  I don't fault them, they have to do what they can afford.  I spent tons of money in educating my daycare kids, and doing projects, painting, play doh, etc.  I also provided breakfast, mid morning snack and drink, hot lunch, and mid day snack and drink.  My cost was comparable to area business daycares that did not provide as much.

Marypage, I understand your passion, and points in your post.  We have to make children a priority.

[Steph]

You made me remember a loving memory BellaMarie,, My older son went to a private kindergarden since the state of Delaware all those years ago did not have public ones. It was in the basement of a house,, She had 15 children, well loved and treasured. My son who had had some birth issues was quite shy at the time.. His teacher ( the owner) did what you did.. She fed them, she taught them cooking, she got them ready for reading and laughed when she discovered my shy sons secret in that he had been reading for about a year by himself. He loved the place and was ready to go each morning, laughing and so happy to see her. So wherever you are, Millie Warrington, you brought out the best in not only the children, but also the parents.

[ginny]

Isn't that lovely?  It's amazing what a real teacher or person who works with children can accomplish and which can last the entire life of the person involved.

My grandmother was also such a person. She was a teacher of high school history who was given all the  "bad boys." We all may know of such "boys" and such teachers. In my own high school we had what were called "Steinie's boys" who were the delinquents, the ne'er do wells, the problem kids, etc., whom Mr. Stein had taken charge of.  

My grandmother was tough as nails.  She  had been widowed early in life with three children to support thru the Depression and she knew hardship and could relate to them. She could understand those angry  boys, and under her they blossomed. And do you know till the end of her life at 89, even tho she had moved away from the same town,  they were still writing her and sending news of how they were doing, photos of their families. She was always so proud of them.

People making a difference in small ways maybe with only a few lives,  that nobody knows about. I think People Magazine just had a feature (only one page) on a Janitor somewhere who is 65 and for all his tenure at that school has bought shoes and clothes and encouraged young people. I think these people are the super heroes of our modern world.

[MaryPage]

And I think you are absolutely right about that!

[ginny]

Actually I forgot what I came in here for.  I came IN to see what everybody is reading.

I am reading The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins. It's my second attempt, the first time I just couldn't get into it. I have no idea why, it's very hard to put down. I'm only on page 31 and I am wondering if I am seeing what I think I see.

Excellent book so far, (of course 30 pages is not very far), but it's a wonderful afternoon's read,  and very well written.  I think Marj said she had read it in Fiction, anybody reading it?

Or if not, what are you reading?

[BarbStAubrey]

As usual I have more than one going -

China's Second Continent: How a Million Migrants Are Building a New Empire in Africa by Howard W French.

Just started, A Wild Sheep Chase by Haruki Murakami

Been reading a myth a day - The Women We Become: A Meaningful Journey into Old Age, Ann G. Thomas, Ed.D

The Third Chapter Passion, Risk, and Adventure in the 25 years after 50 by Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot.

[serenesheila]

I am  reading book #3 of the Clifton Chronicles, by Jeffrey Archer.  I love the way he writes!  The first of his novels I rad was "Kane an Able".  Each one has held my interest till the last page.  I ordered all of his books from Amazon.  So. I know what I will be reading for months to come.  Happy days ahead.

Sheila

[BarbStAubrey]

Looked them up and it sounds like a wonderful series - have  you read books 1 and 2 or did you start with 3 - it looks like there are 4 in the series is that how you understand it.

[Steph]

Am reading book 3 of Estelle Ryans series.. like it more than I did 2... had a busy couple of days, so picked up a truly light book by Aimee and David Thurlow.. About a nun.. not that good, but some of it does point out some hard examples..Also still staggering along with The Devil in the Grove.. hard reading. I read a bit and then stop.
Oh.. last night our PBS did a documentary.. 50 years of Peter Paul and Mary.. Who I adored and wanted to be. wonderful music,, stirling examples of bravery.. and broke down in tears from Marys funeral with Peter and Paul singing..The jet plane song which she had always taken the lead on.. Lovely story.. don't miss it if you see it is anywhere.

[BarbStAubrey]

Yes, the Peter Paul and Mary has been a wonderful uplifting documentary - have they shown yet the one on John Denver - fabulous - an honest portrayal that includes both Annie and the second wife, who he was only married to for four years and his two sons - do not think the daughter he had with his second Australian wife was part of the documentary - it was so refreshing to hear this music again and all the hope and expectation to create great things in the world with a drive for world peace and a caring for nature as well as, each other that was the earmark of the 60s and early 70s.  

[MaryPage]

You won't believe this, but it is absolutely true:  I have watched that new, 50th anniversary Peter, Paul & Mary memorial piece FOUR TIMES on my various PBS channels!  FOUR TIMES!

I never do that.  But the music and the nostalgia were irresistible.  Then I downloaded one of their albums from the ITunes Store to my iPad.

And yes, Steph, I teared up too, at that very spot.  That is to say, I no longer have tears, but I still get that rush behind the eyes when they WANT to shed tears, and I got that.  Got it each time I watched it.  And I loved what Whoopi Goldberg had to say about Mary.  I was also struck by wondering how many women who have never in their lives been politicians or statesmen have had two (or more maybe?) former officially nominated candidates for president speak at their funerals?

The most nostalgic moments of all were at the Martin Luther King speech at the Lincoln monument.  I was pregnant the day that took place.  A bunch of our friends stopped by on their way downtown (we were living in Rockville, Maryland at the time) to attend that march and speech, and I was so excited for them, and envious, as well.  I have been so lucky in my lifetime in being able to be there for so many significant moments in the history of our country, but that was one I had to miss out on.

[Steph]

I am glad that others have the same reaction as I did..Will look for the John Denver one, I still have a vivid memory of a dome with snow falling and he did a winter special.. Annies song was always a favorite of mine.

[MaryPage]

The February 23/March 2 double issue of The New Yorker, which is also their 90th anniversary issue, contains one of the funniest articles I have ever read. It is titled HOLY WRIT and is by Mary Norris, who has been with the magazine for 38 years now and has a book coming out next month titled: "BETWEEN YOU & ME: Confessions of a Comma Queen."

Some samples of errors regarding commas she has encountered in her days:

"We invited the strippers, J.F.K. and Stalin."

"This book is dedicated to my parents, Ayn Rand and God."

"The country & Western singer was joined onstage by his two ex-wives, Kris Kristofferson and Waylon Jennings."

The whole article had me rolling on the floor, and I have already pre-ordered her book from Barnes & Noble.

[salan]

Has everybody else been in a reading "slump"?  I know that I have and there have not been many posts.  I read alot in February; but can't seem to find anything to stick to this month.  I have been re-reading The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry as I am to lead the discussion on Thurs.  I am enjoying it for the second time.
Sally

[Steph]

I have that one in my TBR pile and have never opened it, Maybe that will be the new book. I am just finishing a Sujata Massey.. "The Typhoon Lover". Cant say it is one of my favorites of hers. She is making Rei into a truly odd human..

[salan]

Do give A.J. a try, Steph.  It was one of my favorite books last year.
Sally

[Steph]

I slipped in a new Patricia Briggs ( my favorite guilty pleasure), but have hunted of AJ

[Tomereader1]

It is kind of curious to me that over the last few days, maybe a week, I'm only seeing postings here and in Mystery Corner.  Haven't seen anything in Fiction, Old, New, Bestsellers; NonFiction.
is everybody away on Spring Break?  Just wondering??