JoanP - I thought BP died of ovarian cancer? May be wrong though, can hardly remember which day it is at the moment...
CallieinOK - no, no - I wasn't criticising! Sorry if it sounded that way - I was writing late at night (by my standards) and just thinking about younger women that I know. When I was working I had wonderful trainee, Rachel, who was then about 24. There were also two other young women in the office - both early 20s - whose only interest in their lives (despite the fact that they were both qualified lawyers) was to get married to their live-in boyfriends, buy a house and have children. Rachel did have a nice boyfriend, but was very happy not to move in with him - she had her own flat and was not interested in settling down. We had many conversations about that, as I thought she was so right to have some independence first. She had gone out with another boy for 6 years previously and said that she now realised that if she had married him it would have been a terrible mistake, so she wasn't going to take the plunge any time soon. These girls are all different, aren't they? Although it's a shame that many of them still feel the need to conform.
Thinking about the women of my mother's generation, I think that the never married ones are, perhaps, less happy. My mother has one friend who seems to me to be quite bitter; the other thing I notice (from a distance) is that she gets very annoyed if anyone has to change their plans, wheareas I suppose if you have lived with someone and/or had children, you get used to that! However, another of my mother's friends lived with her sister all through their lives, and they got on like a house on fire and seemed fulfilled. Barbara Pym's novel, Some Tame Gazelle, features two sisters, Harriet and Belinda, who live together in small village - it's presumed to be based on BP and Hilary, and is a really wonderful, very funny, novel. At the end, after various shennanigans, they both settle back into comfortable spinsterdom, and realise that they are happier that way after all.
Got to dash - cat due at vets for yet more acupuncture!
Rosemary