End of Your Life Book Club, The ~ by William Schwalbe - March Book Club Online

[JoanP]

The Book Club Online is  the oldest  book club on the Internet, begun in 1996, open to everyone.  We offer cordial discussions of one book a month,  24/7 and  enjoy the company of readers from all over the world.  Everyone is welcome.

The End of Your Life Book Club
Will Schwalbe

“That’s one of the things that books do. They help us talk. But they also give us something we all can talk about when we don’t want to talk about ourselves. ”Will Schwalbe In The End of Your Life Book Club, Will and Mary Anne Schwalbe share their hopes and concerns with each other—and rediscover their lives—through their favorite books. Afghanistan Center at Kabul University Mary Anne Schwalbe

Discussion Schedule:
March 1 - 8 --  to page 83 (end of The Hobbit)
March 9 - 15 -- to page 169 (end of The Painted Veil)
March 16 - 22 -- to page 249 (end of Girls Like Us)
March 23 - 31 -- to page 329 (finish)

For Your Consideration
March 16 - 22 -- to page 249 (end of Girls Like Us)

To think of throughout: When he describes a book, have you read it?  If yes, how does your take on the book compare with his?  If no, does this make you want to read it?

1. Working with and helping refugees throughout the world was a significant part of last third of Mary Anne’s life.  Have you had any experiences that involved refugees or other people in developing countries?  If you were to become involved now, what would you choose to do?

2. Mary Anne shows Will a thank you card for condolences received, and tells him exactly how she wants it.  Do you know anyone who's written his own obituary or planned his own funeral?

3. Jhumpa Lahiri skillfully describes the ways people communicate or don’t.  What ways can you think of?

4.Do yoga and/or meditation have a place in your life?  Will and his mother read Jon Kabat-Zinn's books on meditation and mindfulness.  Do you have a favorite writer who deals with this subject?

5.“Loneliness is the price we have to pay for being born in this modern world, so full of freedom, independence, and our own egotistical selves.”  How does Mary Anne deal with the possibility of loneliness?  How do you?

6. Will and his siblings figured out their childhood by comparing notes as adults.  If you have siblings, have you gained insight this way?

7. “A thank you note is...an opportunity to count your blessings.”  Do you agree?

8. Feminist Eleanor Rathbone “had to figure out a life for herself”.  Is this still true for women, or have things improved?




 

Related Links::Pre-Discussion Comments; Will Schwalbe Interview; Women's Refugee Commission

DISCUSSION LEADERS: Pedln &  PatH

[PatH]

Mary Anne really is bigger than life, isn't she?  And he can't be exaggerating; it's all a matter of public record.  One thing he does downplay is her bad days and uncomfortable symptoms.  He says just enough in passing that you can figure out how much she must really be suffering.

JoanP, I get tired just thinking about all the things you do.  One thing I'm very grateful for is the amount of time you spend on SeniorLearn.  It's very time-consuming to do what you do, and it's crucial.

[Jonathan]

'I'm feeling a little sad. I know there is a life everlasting - but I wanted to do so much more here.' p168

Isn't that inspiring? And she's 74, and still so active. Surprising Will at every turn. He's kept awake all night wondering if Continental Drift was a poor choice, while she was awake much of the night enthusiastically wondering to whom she could reccommend it. Her reading seems an opportunity to be made aware of the cruelties and evil in the world. Why close ones eyes to them?

'And what I love about Dickens is the way he presents all types of cruelty. You need to learn to recognize these things right from the start. Evil almost always starts with small cruelties.' p151

Shakespeare, too, is sensitizing. Consider the mischief started by Goneril tormenting her father King Lear, or Iago leading Othello on to murder.

Will writes about 'big-themed books that also tell a great story' He has written a pretty good one himself.

A minor detail. How did a million-dollar donor to a worthy cause come up with a battered, dog-eared old book of encouraging thoughts for his friend Mary Anne? Sounds like {People of the Book stuff to me.

[Jonathan]

Let's say a prayer for Ella. Wasn't she having the eye surgery done today?

[PatH]

I thought it was earlier, but extra prayers never hurt.

[pedln]

Jonathan asks

Can you imagine what it took to write this book?

No, I can’t. Tough question.  Tough to answer. 

 The emotional toll in writing this is huge.  Every line that Will  wrote is from reflecting on his mother, bringing thoughts from his past.  We’ve seen him beat himself up a bit over books, over church, so I think he might encounter that again.  We know there were more bad days that he didn’t write about, but writing about the good days is hard too. I hope the responses he’s received since publication have salved the distresses from the writing.  Thousands of readers now know Mary Anne, what she stood for and what she accomplished.

I thought it was earlier, but extra prayers never hurt

  I agree.

One of the questions in the heading asks "what is your notion of courage?"  In the Painted Veil chapter Mary Anne says, "I think the other people who are brave are the ones who take unpopular stands."  It makes one ask himself, "am I brave? Did I speak up? Did I keep my mouth shut?"

This chapter gives many examples of courage.  Are  you brave?

[JoanP]

Pedln, I'm looking again at Mary Anne's comments on "brave"  in order to attempt to answer your question.  Mary Anne really gets "cross"  when people say she has "courage" doesn't she?  She says it's the people who do things they don't want to do, but do so because they felt they had to do it, because it was the right thing to do.  She says she is not one of these, because everything she does is because she wants to do them.  Now that's something to think about.

As to her cancer, she says she's getting the most expensive care in the world.  That's not brave - if really brave she'd do without the care - and give the money to research and preventative care.
I can't even think of comparing myself with this woman.  No, I'm not all that brave.  

Did you notice the fact that she is a breast cancer survivor too?  Didn't look upon that as bad luck, but  thought it good fortune that she survived.  They say that people with her upbeat disposition are much more likely to count themselves among the survivors.  I think it was more than good luck.  Somehow, I find myself believing the book club will go on, that her cancer will continue to be "treatable" if not "curable"...  Mary Anne Schwalbe is living her life, not waiting to die.
Raising money for that  library in Kabul is one of the things she is passionate about right now.  I've been looking for information on the library  during these troubled times...

[JoanP]

Found this Interview with Will  and a link that is fairly up to date - but not complete.

BBL: Throughout her illness, your mother worked very hard trying to get a library built in Afghanistan. What is the status on the project?
 
WS: Mom really wanted to help her friend Nancy Hatch Dupree fulfill her dream of building a national research and cultural center in Afghanistan on the grounds of Kabul University. I’m delighted to say that the building is finished and they are just fixing up the inside to get it ready. It should be fully open at the very end of this year or in the early part of 2013. Also, portable libraries have gone to more than 200 villages in all 34 provinces of Afghanistan. There’s great information on the Dupree Foundation at  dupreefoundation.org.

And here's a video featuring Nancy Hatch Dupree at the Library in January, 2013.
 

[Jonathan]

Quote: 'It should be fully open at the very end of this year or in the early part of 2013.'

That will be a wonderful commencement. If only Mary Anne could be there.

Murder in the Cathedral. What a fascinating chapter. For the reader there is the strange feeling of being on holy ground, as mother and son talk about living and dying. It's as if Will feels part of himself dying as he observes his mother, reading 'the verbal and visual clues' in the 'gestures, tone and language' of her experssions. Mary Anne, however, is reminded of her college days and her happy part in the Harvard and Radcliffe production of the T. S. Eliot drama.

And now she really stars as she returns to Avery Fisher Hall to receive her honorary degree. Just a couple of months ago she had been there, taking in the glory of Handel's MESSIAH.

'Now the auditorium was packed with graduating students, in cap and gown, and their families, draped with cameras. Mom looked tiny behind  the podium on the vast, brightly lit stage. She started her speech....' p178

What an emotional moment for Will: 'I couldn't stop crying...I thought about Mom's instructions....'

Commencement,  the author seems to imply, is whatever you make of it, an end or a beginning. Mary Anne's last words to the students: get out and vote. More instructions!

[Jonathan]

I've counted them. The author made use of 133 specified books and an additional 37 authors and poets, to write this book. Strange how he worked them all into his theme.

[PatH]

Thanks for the update on the library, JoanP.  That's a happy ending, even if Mary Anne didn't get to see it.

133 books plus 37 authors--thanks for counting, Jonathan.  This section has the most obscure and unlikely book of the lot: Eton Repointed, about fixing grout.

Mary Anne is following Becket's model in this chapter: calm, although not enthusiastic, about accepting death when the time comes.

[PatH]

There are new questions for the new section.  Mary Anne is getting sicker, but her spirit is stronger than ever.

[pedln]

That’s a marvelous video about Nancy Hatch Dupree, JoanP, and the work she has done in Afghanistan.  How little we know about what has gone on and what is going on in some of these conuntries.  It’s shocking to learn that China is going to mine copper on the site of an ancient monestary in Afghanistan.  How close we came to losing knowledge about an ancient language.  How fortunate that there are people who not only care, but have dedicated themselves not only to preserving antiquities, but to provide a means for others to learn about them.

In the video, Nancy Dupree talks about the digitalization project, which is now available online..  Link below.

http://www.afghandata.org/

Jonathan, thanks for counting.  I hope to have a list of titles read and/or mentioned in this section  -- tomorrow or Monday.

And yes, Will did respond to my Tweet with a direct message, whatever that is.  “View the conversation” below.

@WillSch Your parents' Japanese and English ceramic pots -- were any made by ceramicist Edmund de Waal ? My book group is asking.

They were very lucky to be able to buy a few Edmund de Waal pots when he was young and starting out. His book is one of my favorites EVER

Those of you who have read deWaal's book, what do you think makes it one of Will's favorites.

I think the Schwalbes  and de Waal knew one another.

Are you surprised or standing in awe at the diversity, the depth, and breadth of Will and Mary Anne's reading?  I am, and am beginning to wonder if my reading adventures have been voluntarily circumscribed.

[JoanP]

Pat, I've added Eliot's Murder in the Cathedral to my TBR list - and feel it might be a good one for discussion here - what do you think?  Can see where Mary Anne would find comfort in it now - Like Becket, "not happy about death but can accept it."  She tells Will - "funeral and memorial services are just a part of life."
I'm really missing Babi, aren't you?  I can imagine her comments on these passages.
Speaking of Memorial services - Babi's daughter was quite touched by the messages from those of us who wrote on the Memorial page here -

We love the messages . My brother added some of them  to his eulogy for Mom so you all could be there with us . They will be very special reminders of the friends she had .  I have a lot of books I will be needing to find homes for . I will get a list and put them in Senior learn when the time comes to see if anyone would like any of them .

I do know of people who plan their own funeral services - one friend even selected the pictures for the slideshow to be shown at her wake.  Sometimes I think of hymns I'd like sung at my own service - and think of writing them down - someday.  
But I've never heard of preprinted sympathy cards - engraved~  in blue ink!  I guess if you are known world-wide, this would be a help to the family.    Her concerns right now seem to be on her survivors.

That's what is attracting her to Jhumpa Lahire's books on immigrants and refuges - the emphasis on their children, their survivors.
 - Will writes that these characters are telling each other important things - not necessarily in words - the gulf between what pople say and what they mean.  That seems to be her purpose with this book club - to communicate with her survivor(s) - not necessarily in words.  Do you think  Will realized this at the time he was writing this book?

Pedln, I wasn't so surprised at the diversity in Will's reading - publishing has been the way he's made his living.  It's HER!     I suppose she was the catalyst in every group she ever joined - imagine what it would have been like to have her join our book club here!  I wasn't surprised that her children turned out to be "bookish" too - but oh, what a wonder she was!

[PatH]

It's been too long since I read Murder in the Cathedral--I remember almost nothing about it.  I'll try to dig it up and have a look.

They have preprinted almost everything now, so I'm not surprised at preprinted thank-you-for-your-sympathy-card cards.  But you notice that Mary Anne told Will to hand-write a note on each one referring specifically to what the person said in their note.

Yes, I miss Babi too.

[pedln]

Here's a list of the books from the chapters in this section.  I hope Ella will be back soon.  She is quite interested in The Reluctant Fundamentalist and no doubt will want to comment on it.

JoanP, thank you for posting Valerie's comments about the memorial pages for Babi.  I miss her too.

Murder in the Cathedral – T.S. Eliot
Interpreter of Maladies – Jhumpa Lahiri
Unaccustomed Earth
The Namesake

Wherever You Go, There You Are – Jon Kabat-Zinn
Full Catastrophe Living
Coming to Our Senses
World Through Mindfulness

Joseph and His Brothers – Thomas Mann
Death In Venice
Magic Mountain
Tonio Kroger
Mario and the Magician
Home – Marilyne Robinson

Kokoro – Natsume Soseki
“The Verger” – Somerset Maugham

The Price of Salt – Patricia Highsmith
Strangers on a Train
The Talented Mr. Ripley
Big Russ and Me – Tim Russert
The Duke of Deception – Geoffrey Wolff
The Great Santini – Pat Conroy
The Color of Water – James McBride
The Tender Bar – J. R. Moehringer
A Handbook for Constructive Living – David Reynolds

The Reluctant Fundamentalist -- Mohsin Hamid

The Year of Magical Thinking – Joan Didion

Olive Kitteridge – Elizabeth Strout
In Other Rooms, Other Wonders – Daniyal Mueenuddin

Girls Like Us – Sheila Weller
The Bolter – Frances Osborne
Saint Joan – George Bernard Shaw

[Jonathan]

I keep expecting to see a post from Babi.

I have two sisters. Mary and Anne. Mary died very suddenly several years ago. Anne suffers from Parkinsons, but 'carrrys on' like Mary Anne.

Thanks, Pedln, for the impressive list of titles. How interesting to puzzle over each one to find the reason for its inclusion. There must be something significant about each to find a place in the life and death of Mary Anne.

Murder in the Cathedral is a good example. Somehow I feel that Becket's death had little meaning for MA. Of course she admired his moral courage, but I can't see her admiring his accepting death as an example for herself. She was too much of a fighter. She simply would not give up.

The next chapter, Wherever You Go, is a heartbreaking account of her fight with the angel of death. Try this. Try that. Yoga and meditation. Chemo and prayer. Ritalin and politics. The drive to continue doing what needs doing.

But Murder in the Cathedral, I believe, was just fun to remember. And Obama's win put her on a high for a week.

[PatH]

I think Mary Anne is seeing Becket's attitude towards death as a model for the future, not for now.  She's still fighting, but she knows she will have to give up sometime.  She says  "He's also able to accept death.  He's not happy about it, but he's perfectly calm.  When I stop this treatment, it will be because it's time to stop."

[pedln]

Jonathan, how interesting that your sisters carry the same names as our heroine.  Have you read Mary McFadden’s So Happy Together?  That was one of the books, along with Bruce Frankel’s that we read for out SeniorLearn trip to New York a few years ago.  The protagonist’s father has Parkinsons, and while he was not a main character there was quite a bit about his illness and the coping techniques he and family members  used.

I’ve been thinking a lot of Will’s question about going to a funeral service and Mary Anne’s answer – “If you need to think about whether you should go or not, you should go. But if you can’t go, you can’t.  Then you write a nice note as soon as you can.”   A friend of a friend died this week, and I could not go to either the visitation or service, both today.  The obituary was much more informative about her life than is usual for our local paper, but what struck me was that her husband was the only named survivor.  She was an only child, she and her husband lost their only child a few years ago.  I will write a “nice note.”  But I wonder if the husband understands and who will take care of him.

The NY Times writes obituaries that are fascinating (I sent an investment club buddy a copy of Lillian Cahn’s obit – she helped found Coach, and the club just bought some)  and thought they might have an obit for Mary Anne, but no, but paid death notices, yes,  from the two day schools in NY and from the Women’s Rescue Commission.

However, the London Times had a very nice one, and in addition to a summary of her life, showed the world a glimpse of the real Mary Anne.

Mary Anne

This dynamo of energy was contained in a small, quiet, smiling elegantly dressed woman, who could appear as conventional as a lady who lunches, but who travelled the world, often in desperately trying circumstances; her journeys included being an electoral observer in the Balkans, as well as being shot at in Afghanistan.

She was sustained by a strong faith and was an elder of the Madison Avenue Presbyterian Church, but she never proselytised or imposed. Her implacable goodness was leavened by a sharp realism, and a subtle wit. She had an ineffable charm, and a lightness of touch.

[PatH]

Pedln, fresh from the advice in The Etiquette of Illness, I would say YES, write the nice note.  It doesn't matter if it's awkward, the gesture matters.  If you know the husband well, call him, say whatever you can, but if you don't know him that well, the nice note is it.

Did you notice the term implacable goodness in your obit excerpt?

[Jonathan]

quote: 'Will’s question about going to a funeral service and Mary Anne’s answer''

The answer, imo, is classy but evasive. I took the question as a probe to discover Mary Anne's physical and emotional resources to attend the funeral of a friend. How would it affect her? Hardly necessary, since her resources were great obviously. But the son is constantly wondering about her ability to handle dinners and parties. Very well as it turns out. I had to wonder about Will's problems with the birthday party at Daisy May's on Eleventh Avenue. He got himself into a panic over the seating arrangement and other details, with visions of a family fiasco at Disney World.

Thanks, Pat, for the evidence to support your view of  the significance of Beckett's death for Mary Anne, but I'm still hung up on her love for the theater and the memory of her part in the college production of the play. When to quit was no option for Beckett, as it is for Mary Anne.

Thanks, Pedln, for the link to the London Times obit. I could only get the first two paragraphs. Do I have to subscribe. I would love to know more about her amazingingly busy life. There must be thousands of colleagues and friends who are reading this book with great interest. I wonder what they think of it.

[PatH]

I wonder what they think of it.

My guess: they're each thinking Will left out some aspect of her life they knew about, while at the same time thinking "I never knew that about her".

[JoanP]

'The answer, imo, is classy but evasive. I took the question as a probe to discover Mary Anne's physical and emotional resources...'

Jonathan, don't you think Will is getting better at interpreting his mother's feelings? - he's learning to listen and observe. He writes about

"Lahiri's skill in capturing subtle ways people communicate - or don't...
The gulf between what people say and what they mean."

Such observation takes an attentive listener.   Mary Anne is teaching him this - when she says the doctor will "let them now"  - rather than "tell them" when it is time...  

[JoanP]

Pedln, I meant to thank you for posting Will's response regarding Edmund de Waal's ceramic pots.  Don't you love the way we're picking up these things from previous discussions? And wasn't  it fun to get a personal note from the author?

What did you think of Will's choice for a second career, his new venture?  - a cooking website!  That made me realize that I really don't know him very well at all.  Need to peck around to see what's up with that.

A rather cold rainy night here in Arlington.  I intend to curl up with Mann's Death in Venice and see if I recognize any of the Venice I once visited.  Not Joseph and His Brothers - will save that for the day I come upon some ritalin.

[JoanP]

A follow up on the tangent - Will's cooking website actually did get started, at www.cookstr.com  

Will Schwalbe, Founder and Chairman of the Board. Will left his job as SVP and Editor in Chief of Hyperion Books to found Cookstr and served as its CEO until March 2011

Although the Internet is already flooded with recipes, Will Schwalbe, who stepped down as editor in chief of Hyperion Books in January, is starting Cookstr to showcase the recipes of star chefs like Jamie Oliver, Nigella Lawson and Mario Batali, as well as those of less-well-known but highly regarded cookbook writers. The idea, ultimately, is to sell copies of these authors’ books.

"Our Mission

Cookstr’s mission is to organize the world‘s best cookbooks and recipes and make them universally accessible.

We are setting the standard for innovation in the delivery of 100% trusted, tested, recipes to home cooks around the world. Our online recipe library offers thousands of recipes by hundreds of the top chefs and cookbook authors, that are free for everyone on Cookstr.com. This year alone, Cookstr.com powered recipe searches in over 20,000 cities and 200 countries!"

I'm not sure what Will's role in Cookstr is right now - or what he is doing.  Will keep looking.

Off  to Venice and Thomas Mann.  What are you reading?

[PatH]

It sounds like he's easing out of cookstr.  As probably the resident cookbook maven (I read cookbooks for pleasure, own five shelves worth, and try new recipes a lot) I checked out the site.  It's kind of overwhelming in terms of quantity, but looks very good indeed.  I spot-checked three recipes I was familiar with, and they looked good--workable and complete.  They are assigned difficulty levels, cost levels, and time of preparation.  I particularly like the complete nutritional information for each recipe.  You can sort by many parameters in your browsing.  There's a huge list of recipe contributers; with a spot check, I noticed a local (DC) restaurant dessert chef who gets good reviews wherever she goes.  (JoanP, it's Anne Amernick.  I see she's written a book, which I didn't know.)

[pedln]

Jonathan, I'm sorry you couldn't read the entire obit.  Yesterday it was fine, but apparently after one visit you must subscribe.  At least that was my experience today.

Pat, you've done a great analysis of Will's Cookstr.Com site.  I've visited it a few times and have actually made one of the recipes -- Tuscan Bean Soup, which was quite tasty -- and am ready to try Lentils in Red Wine.  I was having trouble manipulating the data base and a member of the team was quite helpful.  P. 183 -- Will talking about the new venture.

One of my friends who has also read the book has tried Cookstr as well and we both were asking each the same question -- how does Will make a living from this?  In the book he mentions his two partners and also says he has poured much of his savings into this venture. And in the final section we see him in California meeting with the venture capitalists.

Do you find yourselves applying things from the book to things in your life?  I do.

Today I played a monthly marathon bridge game and the opposing couple was one I've known for years. Now in their 80's they live in a nice retirement facility, but prior to that they lived in an old Victorian maintained in pristine condition. They've travelled the world, much through his membership in Rotary, made a point to attend every city council and school board meeting and most local artistic performances, and for years chaired the church mission committee. Whatever was going on, they were a part of it. So today I watched them climb the steps to my porch and front door. She's had hip replacement, still bothered by it.  He's over 6'6", uses a very tall ski pole for balance, wears an orthopedic shoe that's three times the size of a normal shoe, and has braces on his ankles. And I thought (holding my breath), as I watched them leave, clinging for dear life to the railing, "the lessons of Mary Anne -- you carry on, you just do it."

JoanP, I love all the connections we find in our reading here.  Perhaps they're the "little bursts" that Olive Kitteridge speaks of.  Like Mildred Dunnock from the Brearley School, who went on to star on Broadway as the wife of Willie Loman.  Like learning about David Rohde, his kidnapping and eventual release.  Not to mention all the books.

[PatH]

How do you make a living from cookstr?  They seem to sell ebooks, but there aren't any details.  Maybe there is a charge for putting recipes on the site? or a Commission from sales of the cookbooks quoted?  It seems pretty precarious.

[PatH]

In the chapter "Wherever you go there you are", Will talks about the Prodigal Son, and his feelings of jealousy and unfairness, that a fuss should be made over the bad son, while the good son was taken for granted.  I always felt that unfairness too (not personally; neither of us was prodigal, and our parents treated us evenhandedly).  But a few years ago I ran across a sermon that partly explained things.  The prodigal had asked for his inheritance.  In that culture, this was a totally unacceptable thing to do--the equivalent of writing off your father as dead--and someone who did such a thing would be ostracized.  It was absolutely necessary for the father to make such a show over his son in order for him to be accepted at all; it was a clever ploy of reinstatement.

I still sympathize with the good son, though.

[JoanP]

As the mother of four sons, I have to say if any one of them, especially the youngest, had behaved as the prodigal, I'd still have welcomed him home - with open arms.  So would his father.  Not so sure about his older brothers.

I was surprised to hear Will consider brother Doug as the prodigal son, weren't you?  First born - churchgoer, big family man.  I guess we really don't know him like we know Will.  I'd forgotten how that story came up here -  reread and see that Will and Mom were reading Marilynne Robinson's book, Home - the story of a prodigal - and Doug points out that  Mom had finally got Will to discuss a biblical story.

Last night I made some headway into Thomas Mann's Death in Venice.  It's only 76 pages - did you know that?  It took me a while to get into it - but once Ashchenbach got on the boat for Venice, it was clear sailing.  The first pages I had to read each paragraph several times to grasp the meaning. I later remembered Mary Anne telling Will to skip the early pages of Joseph and his Brothers and then go back and  reread opening pages later.  Same thing.  I'm not in far enough to see how the theme works itself into Will's theme - Ashchenbach is making this trip to Venice outside of Germany alone - something he's been dreaming of doing before he dies...
  

[Jonathan]

Have you read a good cookbook lately? How I would like to look over your five shelves, Pat. There's a cookbook that I have been looking for, for many years. The best cookbook ever written, I've been told. By the famous French writer, Dumas. (Three Musketeers, Count of Monte Cristo, etc.) With dinner in mind, he starts out with the reader, takes him to Les Halles for the careful selection of assorted ingredients...it's mouth-watering from cover to cover. Have you got it.

There must be lots else on your shelves. For example: 'a few years ago I ran across a sermon'. I keep wondering where that may have been. Was it in Hay-on Wye, in England, with its many bookstores? I spent a day there once. One can't help but run into them there. Many 19c stuff, when every preacher published his sermons. Charing Cross was more fun. I was directed to a lower floor. I could hear the Underground rumbling by, under my feet. A few more floors down, and I could hear it rumbling overhead.

What hasn't been made of the prodigal theme. Intended to make one feel homesick. And at home, what joy! As they say, there is more joy in heaven over the return of black sheep, lost sheep, penitent sinners....Prayers from same, especially welcome.

I thought it was Will who thought of himself as the prodigal, who ran off to Hong Kong, and who was wished back in the fold. There is a thread of tension that runs through the book. I don't know what to make of the scene with Curt at the care center. Will gets impatient with his mother. Is he jealous of Curt? Why would Curt remind him of Mussolini, with his jutting jaw?

Today is a time to remember. Mother's 111th birthday. She set out on a long journey, 38 years ago. And never returned. Love you, Mom.

[Jonathan]

I just brought three more home to read. The Olive Kitteridge. The Moonstone, in case that's chosen. I have the other two. And, Slavomir Rawicz's The Long Walk, away from Stalin's gulags. Some of my family did that.

[CallieOK]

Jonathon, I appreciate your mentioning the tension in this story.
Although I did see touches of an Ode To My Mother, I began to feel that this book was a bit of a mea culpa for Will.
Unfortunately, my copy was due back to the library for the final time and I don't have it here to consult for specific examples. 

[PatH]

Callie, and Jonathan, you're picking up on nuances I hadn't noticed; I'll look for them.  It must be hard not to have the book anymore.  It's so full of detail that I find myself referring back to it a lot.

Jonathan, I didn't run across the sermon in a book.  Some years ago, when my daughter lived in San Francisco, the church she went to had a remarkable minister.  When I visited, I would make it a point to go to church because I wanted to hear the sermon.  I bet that's not a common reaction to going to church, but every one of her sermons had something of interest in it, and most of them addressed problems that I had been thinking about.  I found that particular sermon on a church website.

I hadn't heard of the Dumas cookbook, but you have me yearning; he was indeed famous as a gourmet.  One oddity I have is French Cooking in Ten Minutes, 1930, by Edouard de Pomaine.  He was a scientist at the Pasteur Institute in Paris, author of many cookbooks.  The premise of this one is: you walk into your apartment with an hour for lunch (which in France is a more dinner-like meal) you want to cook lunch, eat it, and still have half an hour to sit drinking your coffee.  Plus you have a two-burner gas stove.  Plus you want at least a two course meal, maybe more.  You walk into your apartment, put a pot of water on to boil (you know you will want it for something) and get going.  He produces some surprising results, and he's amusing too.  "White sauce.  This is a horrible sauce.  Fortunately, you can add whatever you like to it and transform it into a very nice one."

For lush writing about food, Elizabeth David is great, and I also use many of her recipes; Ludwig Bemmelmans and Joseph Wechberg are good for reminiscences.

[pedln]

Jonathan, it sounds like you have a story there, with your family walking away from Stalin’s gulags.  And what a lovely tribute to your mother.

Callie, don’t worry about specific examples from the book.  We’re just glad to see you here and hear what you think about the book.  I like your “ode to the mother” touch and tend to agree.  But I think it’s more than that too, more Meet my mother, get to know her.

Hay-on-Why.  A good one for the bucket list.  How lucky for you Jonathan to spend a day there.  Several years ago SeniorNet read Paul Collins’ Sixpence House, about his family’s experiences when they spent a year in Hay-on-Why.  Every so often one hears rumors that the man who started Hay-on-Why is going to start another book town in the US, last I heard was somewhere in Nebraska.  I’d go.

Pat and Jonathan, SUNY at StoneyBrook is where you want to go for cookbooks – the largest and most important collection in the country.

Slashfood: What makes The Fales Library Food Studies Collection the largest and most important in the country?
Marvin J. Taylor: First, sheer size. We hold more volumes than any of the other collections. It's most important because our collection looks at food from a cultural standpoint, not just from nutrition, science, women's studies, etcetera, but from all these viewpoints at once.

How many cookbooks are in the collection?
MJT: I'm not sure, but we estimate that there are 55,000 volumes and counting.

Read more:America's Largest Cookbook Collection

Pat, it sounds like you have some interesting reading on your shelf.  Bemmelmans?  Madelaine?

I keep thinking back to Sister Mater from Thailand, the nun who copied down all the addresses from the postcards that Mary Anne’s student had asked her to send.  Was it just by chance that Mary Anne responded to the first piece of correspondence from Sister Mater, which in time led to her involvement with refugees in other parts of the world.  Did she always read all charitble requests that she received?  Do you?  I know I don’t.

[mabel1015j]

Have been reading the book and have been reading all your comments, but haven't posted very much. I just don't seem to have much to say. Huuummm, that's unusual. Why is that? Is it the topic? Is it bcs i have a SIL with pancreatic cancer? Is it that i don't want to be a downer. You all seem to be enjoying the book so much and i'm glad for that. I just can't identify w/ either of these characters, except that we will all die. Only a couple of the books have ended up on my TBR list. As has been said on annother of the SL sites, i'm longing for something lighter in my reading just now than what Mary Ann and Will are reading.

As someone else said, Mary Ann's life is overwhelming and exhausting to me. I have never had the ambition, or the urge for that kind of adventure, or the opportunity to be a world traveler, or to be involved in world wide issues, or had the money to do so, or the opportunity to know people who did.  I feel like i do when watching any of the reality shows - like they are an anthropological study for me, i would not make any of the decisions for my life that they are making. That's not a judgmental statement, just one of fact. I often say "I don't want to do that (go into bug invested jungles to study the gorillas for ex) but i'm really glad someone wants to do it."

There is one piece that got me thinking - the discussion of courage and how we do things that other people see as hard to do or even courageous. There have been actions that i've taken in my life that others have said "you do that so well", or "i couldn't do that, you're brave to do that." To me it just seemed like the thing to do, or i think that when we have talent for some tasks, it doesn't seem so difficult or brave to do them. I'm sure each of you has had the same experience about something in your lives.

Don't misunderstand me, I'm glad i'm reading the book and am enjoying your comments. One of the nicest things about SL is to have the perceptions of persons who have had very different lives and experiences than i have had.

Jean

[Jonathan]

That's a very thoughtful post, Jean. With many thoughts that have passed through all our minds, surely. All of us, surely, have been in a similiar situation, or been close to others travelling that dark valley. All the more reason, it seems to me, to be impressed by what Will Schwalbe has done with a doleful subject. I forget the page, but at one point he thinks out loud, and wonders what he's writing about: living or dying. I find it amazing how he walks the fine edge dividing celebration and sorrow, between fond memory and gloomy prospect.

Read on. It's therapeutic.

[Jonathan]

Pat, aren't sermons an art form. And cultures can be judged by the preachers they call forth. For many it has been the only theater available to them. I often wonder why the preacher didn't make it to Shakespeare's 'all the world's a stage.

I'm reading a fascinating book, just out, about religion in American war and diplomacy, covering four hundred years. It has promise of being a modern de Tocqueville look at an aspect of American life. What I find interesting is the use the author makes of sermons preached by eminent practitioners.

[Jonathan]

Why, of course. For Shakespeare, preaching was the competition.

[JoanP]

We've heard from Ella!  Her corneal transplant has gone very well - she just needs to take it easy and be very careful.  Hopefully, she'll be back to us soon.

And Jean, so glad to hear from you.  Sorry to hear about your friend.  It must be very difficult reading about Mary Anne Schwalbe at this time.  I agree with Jonathan, we are all finding her bigger than life - and like you, very difficult to relate to her.  We just don't  know people like this - before or after such a diagnosis.  I do find that I'm learning ways to prepare - on a much lesser scale, of course.  While admitting at the same time, that I will NEVER have the projects that MA Schwalbe has to keep her occupied.  
 And such a support system!  A close, tight-knit devoted family, friends - (maybe too many friends?) - her yoga, mindfulness, religious conviction.  Honestly, who among us has ever known a woman like this?

Pedln, no, I don't open most of such mail...let alone respond with a letter as Mary Anne did to Sister Mater.  I admit to having a difficult time tossing requests for helping kids - Indian children's schooling Father Flannigan's Boys Town, Easter Seals, the list goes on.  Mary Anne Schwalbe would be writing letters to each who sent her such requests.