Callie I like the statement you make -
I think HS intends to point out all sorts of stereotypes through the various characters she so skillfully depicts through their comments and thoughts
yes, that is how I see it as well - and is she ever skillful at entertaining us with all these different shades of society represented by each character.
Sheila it is a mystery isn't it - Roger is not just reacting to his Dad but to life in general so differently than the Major and yet, not like Sandy either - he does come across as a man with dollar signs or rather pounds for eyes - but then these chapters I see a change as he embraces some of what his father cherishes - he still seems to be looking though for the dollar compensation and the prestige which the Major shuns.
Joan you quoted Callie and asked...
As you say, "picking and choosing among the rules, or in his case, not following the advice of his family, he finds himself in a moral dilemma."
I found myself puzzling over this concept more than anything else as I read this book. There are a number of characters who would agree with A.Wahid - but isn't Helen Simonson saying that you really must pick and choose, not rigidly adhering to the rules ? Do you find yourself picking and choosing? I do. Yet here she rights that something precious is lost in so doing.
One of the things lost is freedom to choose - once you choose than the freedom to make any other choice is no longer an option plus, since the other choices are not acted upon or adopted all the incremental and complimentary additions to those choices do not see the light of day - thus a loss of freedom to choose after a choice is made and the loss of the many other paths or decorations to life that accompany each choice etc.
Then, there is the concept of saying you are making a choice when really, the choice was made for you by some elder - [at age 2 most of us were strongly advised by an elder not to play in the street] For us to not follow in the footsteps set by elders there are aspects of the choice-not-taken that no longer adds to our life - there is a loss of security that cames with doing what was laid out as a plan for life - there is the loss of honoring the elders who, using their wisdom laid out the plan - It would be like during battle the officers may know the formula to up the odds of a win using the equipment, men and plan according to what they learned in a war academy - where as, a creative officer may try something new and actually succeed - and so, trying new tactics is added to the repertoire at the expense of strict obedience as well as, the loss of sticking to the traditional tried and true.
Once strict obedience to the tried and true is set aside for one event than the theory of strict obedience is in question and so, there are changes to the entire command system. The changes mean some traditions are lost but more, it means there is less secure knowing with less control over the resources [men and arms] and less control over planning resulting in other skills replacing strict obedience.
Finally, if there are enough folks who pick and choose influenced by events or through coercion other than the traditional that is how culture or products, even language is lost.
Thinking about it I see lots of choices in families that results in something lost - like Sunday dinner with the good china and silver - like the change for women using their education and skills in the work place which has changed not only motherhood but the role of grandmothers. We no longer sit on the front porch rocking and knitting while we keep an eye on the grandchildren dependent often on our children for a home. All those collective, societal choices are showing up in ads, travel opportunities etc. Lost is having in-house unquestionable care for latch-key children, a constant monitor for children at play, hand-made socks and sweaters by the dozens with maybe a quilt or two thrown in - someone for Mom to talk with at any hour - and yes, the expectations of yet, one more elder.